| Author | Message | ||
     Mr_grumpy |
Just a little amusement for a Friday morning................ The newswires have reported that the French Government has announced it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide'. The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate'. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's White Flag factory, effectively disabling their military. The Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose". Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find somewhere else in the middle east ripe for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "take on the world" and "ask the British for help". Finally in GB they've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".  A party of American tourists are on a sight-seeing bus tour of London. Every 30 minutes or so, they stop for a double cheeseburger, fries, milkshakes, waffles, doughnuts, etc, etc. They also stop at a few pubs and quaff the odd pint or three. After a while, the food intake starts to take it's toll and the entire party are busting for a crap. However the bus driver can't find a public convenience. Eventually they come across a secluded narrow side street, with high walls obscuring the adjacent buildings. They decide that this is the only opportunity they're going to get, and get off the bus to relieve themselves. Just as they're dropping their pants along comes a London bobby, who says, "Ello, Ello, Ello, you can't be doing that sort of thing here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," reply the Americans, "but we really, really have to go, and can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me". He leads the Americans down a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobby. "Just crap away, anywhere you like." The party file in, and finds themselves in the most beautiful garden with manicured grass lawns, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since they have the policeman's blessing, they relieve themselves in turn, each leaving an enormous turd on the grass. As they return through the gate, one of the party says to the bobby "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?" "No sir..., replied the bobby, "...that is what we call the French Embassy." Subject: The Gunfighter In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in The West. He practised every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognised an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day. The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg." The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his six-shooter and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the young cowboy. "Got any more tips for me? " "Yep," said the old man, "cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits sits. That'll give you a smoother draw." The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" said the cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here - got anymore tips?" The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all." "Will that give me an even quicker draw?" asked the young cowboy. "Nope," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp's done playin' the piano, he's going to shove that six-shooter up your arse, and it it'll ease the pain a little"  | ||
| Bomber |
good ones, grumpster! | ||
| Grndskpr |
I am offended Thats discusting and horid R | ||
| Lake_bueller |
How dare you post that drivel and nonsense!!! Viva La France!!!! or at least their wine Pretzel Boy | ||
| CJXB |
I'm curious, what's a pretzel boy ??? No pictures please !!  | ||
| Lake_bueller |
CJ.... You asked for no pictures but...  That's me at Deal's Gap. My S1W had me "twisted like a pretzel".  | ||
| CJXB |
Nice Pic !!! Whew, I was worried thinking the pic explanation would include nudity !!!  | ||
| Fullpower |
thanks for the laughs | ||
| Grndskpr |
I'm curious, what's a pretzel boy ??? Its when you take a great bike, raise the pegs so that your feet are higher than your bottom, lower the bars so your hands are lower than your knees, tell everybody how its great, its fine, its perfect, than spend 2 weeks geting everything thats was fine fixed Realy realy funny, in a funny, not trying to be mean way, i still get a chuckle thinking about it R | ||
| Oldog |
some one buy that bobby a pint! and one for Mr Grumpy too... | ||
| Piggos |
Gee I'd like to comment on the above, but I've run out of donuts and feel the need to run out for a few cheeseburgers. Funny Stuff! | ||
| Newfie_buell |
Lake, About a month ago I put the rear sets on the S1 and I have to say it was unbearable, I hated riding it. Now IF I had put clip-ons on it as well it would have been like your. I can't imagine that what it must have been like. Are you some kind of contortionist!!!!! The rear-sets are now OFF. | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
I rode it through The Gap & also at Homecoming & without the tankbag to lean on I don't think I would have survived, that said, it go's like a rocket! | ||
| Lake_bueller |
Newfie.....hmmmmmmm....hate to say it but....I told ya so "  http://www.badweatherbikers.com/buell/messages/3842/101467.html?1119614410#POST4 65634 | ||
| Rocketman |
Lake, Newfie, about a month ago I put the rear sets on the S1W. Straight away I noticed they sit much wider on those frame triangles. The stock rear brake reservoir now becomes a pain to relocate because it's too big and bulky. The gear shift is too close to the kick stand boss. Man I didn't even bother riding her with the rear sets on. I took a few steps back looked at the overall picture and realized how cluttered the rear of the S1W had become. An hour later they were back in the box they came in. Next stop - Ebay!!! As for you Grumps, I land in Calais at 9am tomoz morn but I won't be able to hook up with you - soz. I'm over for around 10 days doing the family thing but I'm supposed to be in France again before the riding season is out. Likely I'll be on the big hairy Buell (on my own) this next time and I'll try to hook up then. You have my number! Rocket |
