| Author | Message | ||
     Xbpete |
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| 86129squids |
I used to live next to folks that had a Cairn terrier. That dog barked at two things... everything and nothing. Grrrr.... Hate to see any critter get run over by a car, which did happen to this one. But I didn't hate it too bad. This joke is why I've kept Basenjis. They're dang weird dogs, but generally don't bark. | ||
| Xbpete |
We have a 17 year old Huskie named Mauli (she was a chicken and duck mauler when we first adopted her, spent a lot of time replacing wildfowl until she got put on the run, she could jump a 4 foot fence in stride and earned her name) She has the most low key "yip" to announce when the door should be open for her to come in, otherwise silent. Also have a 3 yr old Boston "Doorbell" Terrier we inherited from my sister in law,,, funny little bugger and is quiet until someone approaches the door, then ...... I have a meme for what happens next Brad, this one is for Tobie, aka the little bastard!  (Message edited by xbpete on February 05, 2021) (Message edited by xbpete on February 05, 2021) | ||
| Ratbuell |
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| 86129squids |
Our one eyed Jack HaHa resembles that meme. His job, since adoption, is to station himself on top of the sofa to look out both the side window and the front windows. With a small neighborhood park right beside my property, we always know when a dog is walked. When the mailman shows up, all hell breaks loose. Highly entertaining. OTOH, the Basenji acts a bit different. He's been conditioned by the first one to react similarly- when the mailman shows, he stands at the door with "big hair", lunges at the glass to attack, but all silently. Strange ass dog. Gotta love 'em though. Once, for some unknown reason, Mike the mailman had already handed me the mail over the fence, but then decided to pet the Basenji. Got a few pats on his head before the B really noticed what was happening... then wham! The B took a little chunk of forearm. We're all cool now.  | ||
| Xbpete |
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| Crusty |
Squirrels The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will. At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide. The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do. But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since. | ||
| 86129squids |
Crusty wins the Internet today. Forwarded joke to my Chaplain sister! Yay! | ||
| Patches |
"Chaplain sister"? clergywoman: cler·gy·wom·an /ˈklərjēˌwo͝omən/ noun noun: clergywoman; plural noun: clergywomen a female priest, minister, or religious leader, especially a Christian one. Similar: priest, churchman, woman of the cloth, woman of God, cleric. there is nothing christian about a Chaplain sister. Bible verses related to Female Pastors. 1 Corinthians 14:34 - KJV 34 - Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but [they are commanded] to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 1 Timothy 2:11-12 - KJV 11 - Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 - But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. | ||
| Gusm2 |
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| Pwnzor |
Here we go... | ||
| Xbpete |
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| Hootowl |
Once again, your literal interpretation of a translated text lacks context. | ||
| 86129squids |
"there is nothing christian about a Chaplain sister." Dude. For you to claim there's "nothing Christian" about her... you've not only completely pissed me off, you're a damn fool. Item # 1 for you today: Go F yourself. | ||
| Crusty |
Brad; Don't let it get to you. Remember; https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x60uawp | ||
| 86129squids |
Heck, I can cut and paste Scripture just as well as you, jackass... Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version 7 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Obviously, "Bible Patch", your momma didn't raise you right. One more thing- in honor of my sister, who helped shape my sense of humor... Now... BACK ON TOPIC. | ||
| 86129squids |
Thank you, my Crusty brother- "all is well, all is well." There's nothing a good dose of Loony Tunes or Merry Melodies can't fix. Year's ago I used to have a full six-hour VHS of them, most I never remember seeing on TV. Many were written and sketched during WWII- I'm pretty sure those who chose what cartoons to use for Saturday morning deliberately skipped these. Heck, now I gotta go trawling on Amazon to look for them... Thanks again, John. BTW, Pete, that's another good 'un... yet more confirmation we've a similar funnybone, me and youn's. | ||
| 86129squids |
Wow... just wow. God truly does work in mysterious, awesome ways. Look what my big sis JUST sent me... she knows nothing about my time on BW today. This certainly is for you all, and certainly for one in particular.  Methinks me sis wins the Internet today. (Message edited by 86129squids on February 07, 2021) | ||
| Patches |
If you don't believe the bible, you don't believe Jesus Is the Christ and you are not Christian. Call me all the names you want to it means nothing. Your problem is not with me it is with Jesus Christ. To be a church leader in a Christian Church you have to be a Husband of One Wife. 1 Timothy 3:2 - KJV 2. - A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Jesus Christ, Bible or False teachings not humorous to me. | ||
| Crusty |
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/9fdfa458-19fc-48fc-9e 9d-756f059cc272 | ||
| Hootowl |
We just don’t believe your interpretation of it, that’s all. Paul wasn’t saying women shouldn’t speak in church. He was saying certain women, in a certain church, at a certain time, who were being chatty and noisy during services, should be made to be silent. Paul’s letters to the Corinthians were meant to correct specific behaviors of the Christians of Corinth. The disruptive behavior of some during church was one of these. Context. | ||
| 86129squids |
Pretty sad, when one (a) uses the Bible to be an internet troll, and (b) gots the dumbs so bad they can't read that THIS IS A JOKE THREAD. Why don'cha start your own thread here on BW just to bludgeon others with your cut-and paste "knowledge" of the Gospel? Would Jesus appreciate your words and actions today?  | ||
| 86129squids |
God, may we all find your divine grace through a good belly laugh... blessed be, and may we all be like Pete. Oh, and my Chaplain sis also sent this one.  | ||
| 1313 |
Here at BadWeB we have both kinds (of things I don't care to find on a motorcycle enthusiasts website) - politics AND religion. The original quote that I tweaked was a LOT more actual funny and not sarcastically funny... | ||
| Xbpete |
Dunno about Jesus but thought this was for fun stuff, cornfuzzles my ancient cerebral cortex... plenty of threads for discussion on matters of faith, politics and philosophy Ima double dip and try to get this back outa the church... (Message edited by xbpete on February 07, 2021) (Message edited by xbpete on February 07, 2021) | ||
| Xbpete |
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| 86129squids |
Let's all go... | ||
| Xbpete |
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| 86129squids |
DANG man, you're good!!!! My brother from another mother! | ||
| Patches |
Isis, Hochma, Ishtar, Cybele, Artemis, Demeter-Persephone, Athene, Minerva, Thunder-Perfect-Mind, or Sophia which one? |
