| Author | Message | ||
     Ducbsa |
"Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for the night. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for life." | ||
| Hootowl |
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll be gone every weekend. | ||
| Sifo |
 | ||
| Pwnzor |
  | ||
| Ourdee |
Doh | ||
| Chauly |
That it just... one of those jokes that goes no further in my world. I just lost a good friend due to a seizure and a broken neck in a fall. At other times, it would be really funny; that probably has more to say about me than anyone else... | ||
| Pwnzor |
If we can't laugh at our own mortality, then we may have lost our humanity. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but I'm sure he would not want people to lose their sense of humor. | ||
| Ourdee |
I know I laugh at myself enough. I went down in the desert one time. As I fell out my buddies were shooting hoops. I had been standing in some gravel by a dumpster. So, to not look like anything was wrong, I tried tossing rocks into the dumpster. What it really looked like, was me in a fetal position slapping rocks with one hand while jiggling around. They got me some shade and poured sodas into me. Then I got them to all swear to secrecy about the incident. I laugh about it now. | ||
| Chauly |
He would have enjoyed the joke; the people left behind: not so much... I would have told it to him, actually... | ||
| 86129squids |
"If we can't laugh at our own mortality, then we may have lost our humanity." Very well put, Matthew. Chauly, sorry for your loss too. Here in a bit I'll head out to pick up two medication refills for our little Jack HaHa, Rocky, to help keep what I call "Mr. Flinchy" away. | ||
| Ratbuell |
My border collie mix has one eye (puppy mill rescue; got her as a monthling with one good/one bad eye and had the bad one removed). Combined with a high-functioning brain like most borders...she had a seizure one time at the fire pit. Guess the one-eye, powerful brain, and flicker-flicker all got to her. Freaked me out. Haven't used the fire pit since. The joke was a good one, but I can also see how it would be a touchy subject for some. But it goes to show - when its your time, its your time. I should have died twice now on motorcycles - guess it hasn't been my time yet. I bet I'll go doing something stupid - drown in a shower or something. But...when it's time, it'll be time. | ||
| Hootowl |
A mother finds a stash of bondage gear and fetish magazines in her son’s room. She asks her husband what she should do. He says, “well, you probably shouldn’t spank him.” | ||
| Zac4mac |
Damn near died today eating a bowl of ramen. Big bite went to the lungs instead of the stomach.... When it's your time................. | ||
| Hootowl |
What a way to go. Ramen: Cheaper than a bullet and twice as tasty. | ||
| Ourdee |
If I go, nitrogen would be less painful. | ||
| Ourdee |
On the local news, this just in: Caitlyn Says Bruce Jenner touched her 30 years ago. | ||
| Hootowl |
I heard he’d been fondling her for decades. | ||
| Crusty |
She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed," Hey, Old Woman, have you ever danced?" The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet. The old woman prospector -- not wanting to get her toe blown off -- started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?" The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No M'am... But... I've always wanted to." | ||
| Crusty |
 | ||
| Ducbsa |
 | ||
| Ducbsa |
 | ||
| Daddio |
 | ||
| 86129squids |
UN. FRICKIN. BELEIVABLE.   | ||
| Sifo |
 | ||
| Sifo |
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around- WalMart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too.. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, doesn't matter, let's look for yours." | ||
| Slaughter |
 | ||
| Aesquire |
https://brilliantmaps.com/divide-uk/ For our UK friends. | ||
| Crusty |
 | ||
| Aesquire |
https://brilliantmaps.com/vikings-1000/ Bias isn't new. | ||
| Crusty |
 Next comment on Facebook, "Makes sense, Hogs ain't Kosher" |
