| Author | Message | ||
     Aesquire |
Not really a joke.... At Walmart, saw a 7' ethernet cable with a sale price of $3 in the bargain bin. I can always use one, and I've got a spot where that would reduce clutter. Grab it. At the robot checkout line, the sale sticker barcode generates a "help, get human" code. The clerk comes over and scans the regular barcode. $1. um. Thank you. | ||
| Griffmeister |
So you corrected the clerk and said that’s supposed to be $3? | ||
| Aesquire |
Actually started the conversation with "it's on sale for 3$", the yellow tag was prominent , and he tried scanning it first. All hail our computer overlords! I'm not sure I'm so painfully honest I'd argue if he hadn't been so informed. But I wasn't tested. | ||
| Aesquire |
http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/05/19/ fashion-notes-meghan-markles-royal-miss-of-a-weddi ng-dress/ Objectively, I agree with this critic, on a subject I am massively unqualified to have an informed opinion on. OTOH, I recently watched the wedding dress episode of Big Bang Theory, where the bride to be picked a dress her friends hated, but have her joy. And I'm reminded the bride at Windsor castle didn't wear it for You. Taste is taste. Fashion is Passion. The last time I was in negotiations for wedding finery, I wisely left it up to the Bride. That she wanted me in an authentic 9 yard kilt outfit that Rob Roy would have thought classy, just shows my occasional good luck. Feel free to mock. But next time you tie a tie, consider how much more comfortable than a suit, a linen, open necked shirt would be standing outdoors in July heat would be, even with an improbable wool kilt allowing the slightest breeze to cool the nether regions.  Tomorrow, we will consider a critical fashion article on Marilyn Manson. | ||
| Aesquire |
Heck, why wait? https://www.crisismagazine.com/1998/pop-culture-of -death-whats-really-scary-about-marilyn-manson | ||
| 1313 |
Marilyn Manson  | ||
| Hootowl |
He disgusts me. On purpose. I do like a few of his songs. Or perhaps I shouldn’t post after the second martini. | ||
| Aesquire |
Remember Alice Cooper? Manson is not my style, but he has a few tunes I enjoy, and while I'll never buy a concert ticket, & probably agree with you on taste and outrage, I know he's just another in a long line of musicians who chose to exploit the "annoy the parents" market. The joke, obviously, is fashion criticism of a guy who is TRYING to make people hate his schtik. And we live in an era of cover tunes. "The House of the Rising Sun" by Five Finger Death Punch , for example. I expect in the near future neo-punk bands doing Gregorian chants..... What? Already? Never mind. | ||
| Aesquire |
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=439 For the Music nerds. | ||
| Hootowl |
Of course I remember Alice Cooper. Been to several concerts. Different animal. His concerts are an act. He’s the bad guy. He dies in every concert. The bad guy gets what’s coming to him. His wife is the nurse. Hello nurse! | ||
| Aesquire |
Yeah, but he's not from an era where someone who declares that they want transexual sex with hippos is considered protected victim status. A few years back Rush, ( the Pundit, not the AWESOME band ) complained that Madonna, who has made her career by shocking parents, has no choice but to put a toilet on stage and take a dump to top herself. Marilyn Manson? eh. I'm not into a lot of the death gloom and despair crud that's out there. Metal, goth, pop, whatever. But I do enjoy the few decent songs from any genre. I am usually late on catching on to the good music. Halestorm, Evanescence, etc. all new to me. | ||
| Hootowl |
Trivium. The only band that matters. https://youtu.be/oh0dxnMNm6s | ||
| Hootowl |
Straight out of Greek mythology. https://youtu.be/KHQ57kLvsj8 | ||
| 86129squids |
Hey Patrick, this is for you... I listen to WDVX. Kasey Chambers has just released a new album (?) recording, and earlier today I heard "Rainbow". Lake Street Dive has a new recording as well. Got to see them live, one of the best 4 piece bands I've ever seen. | ||
| Sifo |
A wife tells her husband the deck needs to be fixed. He replies "Do you see Home Depot on my forehead?" The wife then says the car needs to be fixed. He replies "Do you see Goodwrench on my forehead?" He then went out to play a round of golf. When he returned from golf, his wife told him that a nice young man from down the block offered to fix the deck and car. All he asked in return was either a cake or sex. The husband asked what kind of cake she made. She replied "Do you see Betty Crocker on my forehead?" | ||
| Midknyte |
https://v.redd.it/559chfbl2nz01 | ||
| Barraspalding |
https://youtu.be/BvOe2PdmeEA | ||
| Strokizator |
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a guy runs up and flashes them. Two women had a stroke . . . but the third couldn't reach | ||
| 86129squids |
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| Sifo |
This is what all of us old folks, and the rest of you, have to look forward to!! This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so another guy's wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining area. An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hard time. He had a death grip on the handrail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So, she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast. When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him. A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts. | ||
| Tootal |
My Grand Daddy always told me to fix my Bloody Mary's using carrot juice instead of tomato. I asked him why and he said, "because you get just as messed up but you can see better!" | ||
| Sifo |
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| Strokizator |
True story: I'm helping the neighbor hook his boat trailer to his truck - lower the tongue on the hitch, retract the jack, hook up the tow chains and am about to connect the wiring harness's 4-pole plug to the 4-pole receptacle on his truck when he says, "Yeah, hold on a minute." He goes to the cab and returns to hand me a 7 pole to 4 pole adapter. "Here, use this". I say, "Your truck already has a 4-pole receptacle". His reply was, "Yeah, I guess that's for people who don't have the adapter". WTF!?!? | ||
| Garyz28 |
Strokizator- What's sad is how easy that is to believe | ||
| Froggy |
The American Government is just like a car. If you want it to go forward you put it in (D) and if you want it to go backwards you put it in (R) | ||
| Hootowl |
Ain’t that the truth. I hope we stay in R long enough to fundamentally untransform America back to her former glory. | ||
| Crusty |
This comes from a Frank And Ernest comic strip: Frank (while seated at a desk in a Book Co.) "A guide to folding paper plants and animals, Mr. Darwin? What's the title?" Ernest ""The Origami of Species". | ||
| Torquehd |
Forward in which direction? The whole world's going to hell in a handbasket, let's put it in R while we still can! | ||
| Ourdee |
I liked it the way Froggy worded it. Plenty of ways to look at the meanings, if thought about. One man's forward is another man's reverse. Are you in the right or left lane on a two lane road? Is it a one way road? Which is more important the destination, or how you get there? I enjoy pecans, crackers, cheese, and grape juice. Without vegetables or meat how do you define my meal? In my best Joker voice, "Why so dichotomous?" | ||
| Sifo |
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00am tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already...I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!" The dentist thought to himself, "Well, well, at last a golfer with gumption!!" So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?" The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, honey, and show the dentist." |
