| Author | Message | ||
     Midknyte |
http://io9.com/this-x-wings-parody-is-a-cars-spino ff-wed-actually-watc-1695196066 | ||
| Pwnzor |
 | ||
| Hootowl |
Can't remember whether I've posted these...    | ||
| Hootowl |
Gesundheit. | ||
| 86129squids |
haiKyu. | ||
| Reepicheep |
That's great! | ||
| Ducbsa |
One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same airplane. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness. Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his carry-on bag and began pencilling in the answers. "This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at crosswords. It crossed his mind that if the Pope got stuck, He’d ask me for assistance." Almost as if providence struck, the Pope turned to the man and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'? The three Cardinals behind, in front of and beside him shrunk down in their seats, as far as possible, all looking for something on the floor. The man was in morbid shock. He couldn’t breathe. He went within himself, thought deeper, longer for a plausible answer and after almost a minute, the dark clouds of evil parted in his mind and the sun shone in. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman said, with reverence and politeness, "I believe, Your Holiness that you're looking for the word, 'aunt.'" "Of course,” the Pope mused, not taking his gaze off the crossword, "You wouldn’t happen to have an eraser, would you?" | ||
| Pwnzor |
 | ||
| Sifo |
 | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Definitely Blonde. | ||
| 86129squids |
OH!?  Gawd I wonder if she ever lived that down... | ||
| Sifo |
 | ||
| Hootowl |
Guy gets hit by a car, and wakes up in the middle of surgery. The doctor is in the process of reattaching the man's penis, which was severed in the accident. Guy freaks out, jumps up off the operating table, runs out of the hospital, into the street, and is struck by a car again. The surgeon looked at his nurse and said, "That's what he gets for going off half cocked". | ||
| Uncle |
 Patriots announce newcomer Dom Grady will start in replacement of suspended Tom Brady for first four games of the season. (Message edited by Uncle on May 13, 2015) | ||
| Bolthead |
Here's at you Court-- Super Bowl A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?" He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else-a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?". The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral." | ||
| Midknyte |
Watch This Muscle Car Self Destruct Because It's Just Too Damn Powerful http://flip.it/SZZPH | ||
| Reepicheep |
I think I would have rather been the guy exploding the entire rear end of my carefully restored classic car than somebody stuck in the car filming with those people making those horrible noises... | ||
| Hootowl |
The rear end appeared to have held together. Looks like the U bolts that connect it to the leaf springs let go. Not unheard of in older cars. I feel for the guy. Nice car, | ||
| Alfau |
Made in America | ||
| Alfau |
(Message edited by alfau on May 25, 2015) | ||
| Midknyte |
https://youtu.be/H-xY2cqM1uk | ||
| Froggy |
 | ||
| Sparky |
FORD FIASCO:  | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless Dear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore! You're running for President of the United States. Act like one. | ||
| Sifo |
 | ||
| Sifo |
 | ||
| Froggy |
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. | ||
| Ourdee |
argh...DOH! | ||
| 86129squids |
A baby seal walks into a club... | ||
| 86129squids |
Ummm, not "rude" or "crude"?  Jokes be good. Life's all about the shits and giggles. |
