| Author | Message | ||
     V2win |
Hi, Fuell has a regular section called "My Longest Ride". I submitted my story of my Ironbutt ride (see the Tale Section here for it), but they did not like the fact that it was promoting the Ironbutt competition. Dont you just love lawyers? Anyway, perhaps some could relate to a "shortest ride section here. I have several that I could tell. Here is one: I had just painted my S3T with its third paint scheme since I bought it. I had it over at my friend, Hago's place to do a final buffing on the new paint. I had taken the tank off the bike and then was putting it back on, when we all decided it was time to get something to eat. Off we went to a fast food joint. When we returned, it was dark, I was tired, so I said farewell and mounted "Ol Blue, now called "The Beast", and away I rode. I made it about 100 yards when it started to die. Needs gas I thought, so I reached down to turn on the petcock. Just then I remembered that I had not replaced the gas line on the tank when I was ask to go eat with the guys. I shut the valve off. TOO LATE!!! The bike was on FIRE! When I opened the petcock it poured all down and over the hot engine. I quickly pulled over and laid the bike on its left side. Being dark outside made it look even worse. I yanked some shirts out of the tank bag and beat the flame out, rolled the bike back to Hago's and replaced the burnt lines. My new paint needed some fixing up on the left saddle bag but that was about all the damage I saw. I got lucky. John | ||
| Dave |
That's scary as shit JOhn and a damned shame about the new paint but I find humor in it.  (COuld you elaborate on Fire BEast Part 2 hehehe) Someone will write about a wheel lock I am sure makin' for a shorter ride. So what qualifies as a ride? Engine running? Feet off the ground? DAve | ||
| V2win |
Im not sure DAve. But let the bikes fall where they will.  . I have some other interesting stories on another topic. "Getting run off the road." What do you think? Should we start a whole set of these too? | ||
| Mbsween |
John, damn I thought you knew how to ride. maybe you could combine a positive outcome with the short ride. Something like "effective use of the Buell motor as a hotdog roasting device in a hundred yards or less" . Assuming you had some hotdogs and a long screwdriver in the tank bag. You could probably start another topic with "helping lost souls in the middle of the night who happen to be wearing the same helmet" Strange stuff. Still laughing at the 1st post. Have you attempted the ironbutt? Matt | ||
| V2win |
Matt, Go here: John's Ironbutt ride | ||
| Racerboy |
More fuel for Fuell... I double dog dared John to start this thread knowing full well that it was like dangling huckleberries in front of DAve...Or a bear... Uh, I didn't actually execute this "short ride" but I was an instigater... Brand spankin' new '99 M2...Blue, dontcha know...I ride it home from the dealer and park it on the pad in front of the house to be admired by one and all...Especially taken in is my daughter's SO, Jonathon...A real cracker from N GA...Used to be when he called the house I had to tell my brain who it was before I could decipher what he was saying...But a real nice young guy who I happened to like...We are talking about the M2 and he informs me that's he rides all them time back home...Only later do I find out that it's on itty bitty dirt bikes...I offer to let him take a spin and we get him geared up in my helmet and brand new Willie G leather jacket (still had the H-D at the time)...Off he goes down the driveway intending (note that word) to make a left turn at the bottom...Well as he turns left his right hand twists the go thingy and, you guessed it, out goes the rear end and down goes Jonathon...Road 1, Jonathon & New M2 0...New tank, indicator, bent bars and the Willie G that did it's job...Never did replace the bars or the Willie G...So, the shortest ride for my M2 was about 240 yds... And we always knew John was flamin'!!! See Ya! Bob | ||
| Blake |
Not counting a Rup mini bike, my first time ever on two wheels... my friends brand new YZ80... we were like 10 or 11 years old, bunch of the gang all waiting to try Robby Narbeski's new dirt bike. I'm first to jump on... rev it and take off towards a dirt mound jump, hit power band, loop it, bike continues on, executes perfect jump comes to rest, tips over; I land sheepishly on my ass. We all laughed so hard our guts ached. Left with newfound respect for little two strokers. In fact... I haven't ridden one since. LOL! | ||
| Spike |
My shortest ride, cut and pasted from the "Crashes and Mishaps" archives: "Well, I finally did it. I've been riding streetbikes for over five years now, and I finally forgot to unlock my steering lock. To add to the embarrassment, I did it right in front of a crowded restaurant. I picked the bike up and turned around to see way too many people staring at me through the window. If that wasn't enough, it started raining about the time I picked the bike back up. I bent the front brake lever, broke the rear brake lever, and cracked up the air(bread)box. I was once told that we each get 10 minutes worth of stupid everyday. I think I used mine up in about 30 seconds. Oh well, that's the way it goes sometimes." I think the bike had about 1000 miles on it at the time.  Mike L. '99 Cyclone | ||
| Phatkidwit1eye |
Hmmm...Lets see...Well I broke my front fender 3 times with a disk lock. Spent alot of time with some good ol' plastic weld and alot of time painting and sanding. There of course was the time I just picked up my full license and decided to go get my bike inspected. So I guess I lasted about 5 miles. I parked my bike in the wrong spot and had to move it. So I jump on my bike and start to go then all of a sudden I couldnt move my bars.So being a newbie , I tried to stop I grabbed a hand full of throttle Then realized "OH SH!T" I finally pulled in the clutch and the front brake and down went my first bike I just about started crying cause I could hear my dad telling me to be careful and not to crash. Well as my luck would have it when I dropped it, it broke the head lock and I couldnt get it undone. Pretty funny though cause the guy still passed me when I brought it up for inspection. I had just enough free play in the bars to push my bike over to a stall. After 50 bucks for a ride home with AAA and an interesting story about how I left it in neutral on a hill to my Dad I made it out ok enough to ride again..... | ||
| Phillyblast |
I was maybe 6(?), and my older brother and his friends were riding a minibike around the friend's back yard. I begged to go for a ride, so they disconnected the throttle and turned up the idle so I wouldn't get in too much trouble, slapped a helmet on me, and put me on it. I jumped on and immediately headed down the driveway towards the street. The grabbed the back of the seat and stopped me (I had no clue where the brakes were) and I was banned from the minibike for a while. so my shortest ride was about 10 yards. | ||
| Mbsween |
I had an old and whipped TS125 Suzuki (72 I think) that I was putting a CDI into. It was the middle of january and I was working on My parents unheated porch. Got it all together and was so juiced, I just had to ride it. So I rolled it down the front steps and got out into the road, it was snowing lightly and about 35 degrees (F). Starts right up on the 3rd kick, almost stalls and then smooths out. I rev her up drop the clutch and..... catch the triple tree right in the nuts! Down I go. Seems the timing was off and I managed to get it running backwards. 5 reverse gears are a hoot, but I never got past the first one. I think I went about 10 feet inlcuding the fall | ||
| Lake_Bueller |
My shortest ride.....It was 16 years old and thought I knew everything (don't all 16 year olds?) I'd ridden a few (note: VERY few) dirt bikes around the 'hood. I'd never been on anything bigger than a 125cc Honda. Well to make a long story short (or a short story long). A co-worker at the grocery store gets himself a 750 somethingoranother. I'm out admiring his bike and he asks me if I'd like to take it for a spin. Hell, I'm 16 and know everything about everything. So sure, on the bike I go. I get the bike in neutral. Turn the key and hit the ignition. So far, so good. I get the bike into first, give it some gas and release the clutch. Oops....too much gas and too much clutch. Now your probably thinking I flipped this beast and landed on my ass. WRONG!!!! I went about 10' and t-boned my dad's truck! To bring this to and end....luckily the bike survived. Me...I had to make up some BS story about a hit & run in the parking lot at work. I didn't ride another bike for almost 10 years. Now you can't get me off the damn thing. But I'll never forget that first experience with a street bike | ||
| 99x1 |
My shortest ride: Raced motocross in 1977 on an Suzuki RM125, and the following year was given a 1978 RM125 by the local dealer. Dealer delivered it to my parents farm (my personal motocross track!), and I started it up in his trailer to drive it off the ~2' drop to the ground. Rear tire spun, and front end didn't lift - tipped forward off the back of the trailer, catapulting me to a heap at the dealers feet. Total bike travel: ~3'.... John | ||
| Tripper |
That's the funniest thing Iv'e heard in a long time. My wife wants to know why I'm crying... | ||
| Racerboy |
Hey Trip, I want to see anyone beat that!!!...A reverse "shortest ride"...By a eunuch, no less...And just like John's, I don't think it will make Fuell...Bring 'um on guys and gals... See Ya! Bob | ||
| Rick_A |
Well, the couple times I've forgotten about my disk lock, I traveled all of several inches. It now either has an alarm or a big frikkin' tag. Then there was this time leaving work...I got into the habit of spinning up the rear tire around each corner in the slippery badly paved parking lot. After a while I thought I was getting pretty good and kept gassin' it sooner and farther...one time there was a couple cars behind the stop sign so my braking distance was greatly reduced. I hit the clutch and nailed the front brake (should've hit the rear brake too!) but my rear wheel still had enough momentum to overcome the front end. The bike dropped in an instant and spiraled down the lot on its side. People just stared and tried to get around my broken pieces before I could even get up! | ||
| Aesquire |
Friend had trouble starting his Norton Combat Commando, (timing) he ripped the heel off a combat boot. I step on, grabbed the bars, kicked in best approved fashion, and was catapulted over the bars, still hanging on, landing on my back across the front wheel. Do we measure distance by head, feet or hands? 3 feet, 7 ft, 0 ft. Bike never moved. | ||
| Court |
My shortest ride was at the Mall of America in the Twin Cities. Rain had delayed my departure. When it cleared a bit, I was in a big hurry. So big that I had forgotten, prior to snapping the clutch for the departure wheelie, that I'd run a BIG chain through both wheels under the bike and joined the ends with a HD padlock. <FONT SIZE="+1"><CENTER>Chain = 1 Court = 0</CENTER></FONT> | ||
| Bomber |
I have a t-shrit (from the Aerostich people) that sez, "Pave the Planet" the gentler and nicer smelling people in my house (wife and daughter) made fun of it every time I wore it (it's one of my favorites, getting the goat of almost every non-rider that sees it) . . . I came home from work one day, pretty brain dead, and stopped the M2 at the end of the twisty driveway (describes an pretty nice Ess Curve about 200 feet long), left the bike running on the sidestand, and got the mail from the box. I put the mail on the seat, sat on the mail, lifted the bike upright, put it into gear, tried to make the first part of the Ess (left hand bend), ground the sidestand into the asphalt (had disabled the safety switch after the thrid one died), and dumped the bike . . . . distance, approx 10 feet. Damage? paint job for the tank, clutch lever, bent bars, abraded bar end mirror. That chirstmas, I opened a box from the gentler, nicer smelling people in my house . . . it held a small Swiss Army Knife (Wenger, for those who keep track), the the following engraving on the handle Pave the Planet Pad the Driveway It's good they love me | ||
| Johnc |
About 20 years ago I had a Suzuki GS1000, one weekend I installed a set of clip ons and rear set foot pegs. I went for a test ride and when I went to stop a the first stop sign, when I put my foot down the loop in my shoe lace hooked on the toe peg of the shifter. It's a helpless feeling when you can't get your foot down and you're laying on your side on the road with a bike on top of you. Shortest ride-1/2 block! | ||
| Ray_Maines |
About two blocks. Got to the first stop light, turned right, spun the tire, rear of bike went left, I went down. Not very spectacular but pretty violent. The rest of my ride that night was in an ambulance. Cold tires, wet street. Bummer. | ||
| Rick_A |
I was gonna say that these stories were pretty hilarious...not after that one. | ||
| V2win |
This shortest ride does not involve a motorcycle. I was about 13 or 14,(many, many years ago). We had just rounded up all the cattle in the fall for sorting, medication, worming, etc. We had sorted out all of the young bulls to sell. A few of my friends and I decided to do a little bull riding. I remember as I was flying through the air that I hoped I would miss the fence post nearby. I did not. I still have the scar (shaped like a flying bird) on my left arm from that incident. Total time about 4 seconds. | ||
| Valvetrash |
My shortest ride was on a 1978 yamaha DT175E, I was in high school. I had it at school because I had been doing some work on it in auto shop. I was working on it because it had no power ever since I had bought it. Well the day I come when I finally had it fixed (I had to cut the exhaust in half and cut out the baffle because of carbon build up). SO the shop teacher tells me to go take it for a burn. At this point I didn't really want to because I have no helmet and everyone is gathering to watch, but at this point I really don't have much choice. So with everyone watching I jump on and start it up, and what do I do....whack it to full throttle, dumps me off the back, but I am still hanging on to the bars and I find my self running behind it tring to keep up. This was near impossible to do so I let go with my right hand, the bike goes sharp left into two parked cars. Whoops. Round trip all of about 20 ft. Lucky for me on of the cars was a shop car and the other one was a friends farm vehicle. Needless to say I didn't ride it again till I had it at home with no audience. | ||
| Court |
Reading these is hilarious....and I thought I was the lone "idiot rider" in the world! It's great to have company. I LOVE that bull riding tale! | ||
| Crusty |
My shorted motorcycle ride wasn't even a ride. In the late '60s, my friends were buying cheap Indian basket cases. You could get a running Chief for a hundred bucks. When John Annal got his home, he invited me to kick it over. I knew nothing about retarding the spark, and the backfire threw me over the bars. After that, I never bought an Indian. | ||
| Racerboy |
Court, et. al...I'm also am loving this thread...John probably could have entitled it "Really Stupid Acts Only Attempted Once"...The larger the group of witnesses, the more stupid and funny the act...Next time you see John or me, remind us to tell you about the night we hit the pig... See Ya! Bob | ||
| Cjmblast |
I love these stories, thanks for sharing !!! LMAO CJM  P.S. Racer, this is the place to tell about the night you hit the pig !! | ||
| Dave |
...mmmmm are you sure you want to tell that story BOb? I thought that was St Louis trusted info DAve | ||
| Bads1 |
Well this ones about a friend back in 1989.He just bought a brand new ZX-10 and had just put maybe 1000 miles on it when he decided to try drag racing with a group of us friends at Great Lakes Dragaway here in Wi.We were all having a great time,we all probably ran are bikes 3 or 4 times and are ZX-10 friend not ounce yet.He was alittle nervous about running his new bike.Well he finally staged the bike,were all watching when the x-mas tree turned green he wacked the throttle and the bike took off down the track with out him and he was standing yes standing never even fell starting chasing on foot after his bike.Hows that for a short ride and its true. |
