Well I just took the covers off my Uly. Been unused for almost 4 months whilst I've had a run of test bikes. Just had a string of 'em - sometimes 2 at a time so my bike has been parked up.
Needed the battery tender to kick it over too.
So - what tyre/tire pressures do you think it will have.
I rode it around the block - they don't seem 'too' bad - I'll check later
Then there was the guy who shot up the Breakfast food aisle in the Supermarket. He went to prison for being a cereal killer. I know this is an anti-politics thread; but do you know how to tell when a politician is lying? His lips are moving. A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the Bar Tender here?" A guy walks into a bar carrying a set of jumper cables. The bartender looks at him and says, "Don't start anything!" Two Cannibals are eating a clown, when one asks the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, and although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it.
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my bike gear, dressed quietly, made my lunch, slipped quietly into the garage to push the bike out, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was hail mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph.
I pushed the bike back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out biking in that crap....."
Somebody told me I sound just like Larry The Cable Guy...I said...I should, he wrote all his stuff about me, my buddy Bubba, and my sister with the moles.
Thats funnier'n two fat chicks fightin' over the last pallet of Twinkies at the WalMart.
Two Bubbas was ridin' down the road in a pickup truck drinkin' beers....cop pulled in behind and turned on the lights...Bubba thats drivin sez oh no, what we gonna do now...other Bubba peels a label off the bottle and sticks it on his buddies arm.
When they pull over, the cop sez...I smell beer, you been drinkin' n drivin'??? Bubba smiles real big'n sez...nawwwww...points to his arm....see...I'm on the patch.
My buddy Bill decided to throw an unusual costume party. Attendees had to come dressed as an emotion. Everyone was kind of puzzled about how to dress, but by the night of the party, most had figured something out. The night of the party arrived, and the doorbell signaled the arrival of the first guest. Bill opened the door, and there stood Al, dressed completely in red. "What are You?", asked Bill. "I'm angry", said Al. "Nice! Come on in!" A few minutes later, the bell rang again; and there stood Ernie, covered in green. "What are you?", asked Bill. "I'm jealous" "Cool! Come on in!" said Bill. A short while later the bell rang again; and there stood Charlotte dressed in blue. "What are you?" "I'm depressed" "Come on in!" A while later, the bell rang again; and when Bill opened the door, there stood Alfred from Brooklyn totally naked except for a pie over his crotch. Puzzled, Bill asked, "What are You?" I'm F***in' dis custard!"