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Xbpete
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2022 - 04:42 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Xbpete
Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2022 - 04:22 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Xbpete
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 02:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Hootowl
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 05:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ever wonder what the dog would do if it caught the car? Now you know.
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Hootowl
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 05:28 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

When you clean out the bag in your vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
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Hootowl
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 05:29 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of the nightclub was not the bouncer.
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Crusty
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 08:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the Bar Tender here?"
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Crusty
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 08:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"
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86129squids
Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2022 - 11:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

That boxer must've figured some raccoon eyes were JUST the custom touch that old classic 'Vette needed. Now for some blue dots!
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Xbpete
Posted on Friday, May 06, 2022 - 04:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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1313
Posted on Friday, May 06, 2022 - 07:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"when needed" always cracks me up!

I mean, when is a coffin NOT needed?!?!

FYI, I own 2 coffins and 2 caskets, and I'm COMPLETELY normal!
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86129squids
Posted on Saturday, May 07, 2022 - 03:14 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I once worked at a restaurant with a boss who was a nominal aisshole. I found an interesting magazine at the bookstore, pulled out a catalog RQ form, and addressed it with his name, and the address for the restaurant.

The catalogue was for a range of high-end, well made, convertible furniture that either would be just normal furniture or for BDSM use. The assistant manager collected the mail. Hilarity ensued. I remain anonymous, decades later.

(Message edited by 86129squids on May 07, 2022)
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Xbpete
Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2022 - 04:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Sign 'em up Brad! Did much the same...



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Hootowl
Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2022 - 04:32 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

I will never need a coffin. Don’t have any use for one while I’m alive, and won’t be able to care when I’m dead. : )

Besides, organ donor, medical student cadaver, and cremation are in my future. May as well be useful.
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Whisperstealth
Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2022 - 06:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

No need to go spending money on a coffin for me. I still say I want to be ground up and fed to my dogs when I kick the bucket...
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86129squids
Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2022 - 11:04 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Here's what I'd like, once I leave this mortal coil. I'd like for my oldest buddies to charter a good deep-sea fishing boat... chop me up, and throw in some other good meats to chum the waters. A top-notch chef on board for a proper bar-BQ. Whomever gets the biggest fish, get it taxidermied nicely, and that'll do.

My mom once caught a barracuda in the Florida gulf... who knows, maybe I'd end up in a blue sailfin.
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Xbpete
Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2022 - 01:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Ducbsa
Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2022 - 10:32 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)


dghjer
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Hootowl
Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2022 - 11:15 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Didn’t help this guy.


misterroberts
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Xbpete
Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2022 - 04:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

What a great movie! Saw this the other day... old farts might get it,,,



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Chauly
Posted on Tuesday, May 17, 2022 - 05:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

"TV" Tommy Ivo & Suzanne Pleshette?
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Xbpete
Posted on Friday, May 20, 2022 - 04:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

It's TV Tommy from The Donna Reed show and Annete Funicelo from The Mickey Mouse Club Chauly





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Xbpete
Posted on Sunday, May 22, 2022 - 05:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Riding_tall
Posted on Sunday, May 22, 2022 - 09:58 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Zacks
Posted on Sunday, May 22, 2022 - 11:45 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Ah, the only reason the sumbitch came loose was it sheared off.
Starting a whole new wave yelling and cussing.

Really did happen doing the brakes on my F150 last week.
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Xbpete
Posted on Thursday, May 26, 2022 - 02:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

The therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, ..............But I go for a ride on my motorcycle on Fridays.
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Ducbsa
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2022 - 05:26 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)


bxhsuueee
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Xbpete
Posted on Tuesday, May 31, 2022 - 05:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)



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Hootowl
Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2022 - 07:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

Both of my brothers in law are electricians. They don’t make $80K. They make $100K. : )
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Ratbuell
Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2022 - 11:35 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Custodian/Admin Only) Ban Poster IP (Custodian/Admin only)

...which, with the current inflation rate, is about 65k....
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