That was a great clip! And, yes, lots of 'Murican grub is kinda... ack! Seems I've read/heard of a book that chronicles the changes in American cooking dating from the WWII years, through the beginning of the Boomer years, when we got away from really cooking things...
We cook quite a bit here at my house. I've got to work Thanksgiving (GRRR!!) but I demanded that I'd be scheduled off on Black Friday. My sweetie plans to make my mom's/grandma's/great aunt's chicken and dumpling recipe, hopefully with green bean casserole... NOMNOMNOOOMMMMMM!
Looking forward to a great day. My old boss is planning a group lunch ride from SMHD down to Tellico Plains... I'd kinda like to go, but I'll probably be whooped from Thursday. Given the work that's involved in making dinner, maybe I'll stay home and help.
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?" The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?" The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?" The assistant replied, "Because you're in Autozone."
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there. Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Donald Trump and Barack Obama end up in the same barbers shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation for fear it would turn into politics. As the barbers finished their shaves the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. Trump was quick to stop him saying "No way buddy, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a damn whorehouse"
The second barber turned to Obama saying "How about you?"
Obama replied "Go ahead, my wife doedn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
Three men were sitting in a pub bragging to each other how they had set their new wives straight on their married duties.
The first man had married a woman from Sweden, and bragged that he had told his wife she was to do all the dishes, laundry, and house cleaning that needed doing in their new house. He said it took a couple of days of not seeing much done, but on the third day he came home to a clean house, laundry done, and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from France. He bragged that he had told his wife that she was to do all the dishes, laundry, house cleaning, and cooking. He told them on the first day he didn't see any results, the next day was a little better, and on the third day all was done and he had a hot meal on the table waiting for him.
The third man married an Australian woman. He bragged that he had told his wife that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, the dishes washed, the laundry washed and ironed, the lawn mowed, the car washed, three hot meals a every day, and when he was coming home from work to have a pint waiting for him when he walked in the door. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye!
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually the son returns home, but he's become a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.
The friend listens, thinks for a moment, and says, "that's odd; I sent my son to Israel as a Jew, and he also returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.
They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a moment and then said, "that's odd I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."
So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. They arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how they all returned as Christians."
There is a moment of silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "that's odd…"
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and the testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says, very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2016 - 04:45 am:
Two entrepreneurs taking a break while setting up their pop up store for Christmas; empty shelves, boxes lying around: "Any time now some old biddy will poke her nose in and ask what we're selling." Sure enough a senior citizen stops and asks "What are you selling?" Tired and more than a little crabby one says "We're selling assholes." "Hmm." she says. "Must be doing well. You've only got two left."
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?" Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied. "Well I’m in the gun shop next door to that."
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl Game in Houston. He has a luxury suite reserved at the stadium, plus airline tickets valid from any US airport, a hotel suite, and tickets to attend two pre-game parties. However, he somehow failed to realize that the game is scheduled for the same day as his wedding. So he can't go.
If you're interested, and if you’d like to go, instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5:00 pm. Her name is Louise. She's 5'4", about 125 lbs., a good cook and makes $180,000 a year as a stockbroker. She’ll be the one in the white dress
I should probably feel bad for anyone who has a motorcycle accident, including large groups of aggressive, clueless, arrogant, selfish sportbike riders.
But I don't... especially if it looks like they will recover. I'm sure that guy wasn't happy, but I doubt he ended up dead.