| Author | Message | ||
     Ducbsa |
I asked 100 women, what their favorite soap in the shower was... The most popular response was : "How the hell did you get in here?” | ||
| Froggy |
Donald Trump wants to ban sales of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again. | ||
| Pwnzor |
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| Crusty |
What do you get when you cross a donkey with a slice of onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye. | ||
| Froggy |
I know a guy here in Pittsburgh who was hired by PennDOT. He's an Iraq War veteran. He got hit by an IED while he was over there and, while he's otherwise okay, they had to amputate his nuts. They told him to show up at 10 AM on his first day. His wife thought that sounded a little late of a start time, so she told him to call his new boss. So he did. His new boss told him they normally start at 8, but they spend the first couple hours standing around scratching their balls, so he didn't need to come in until 10. | ||
| Zane |
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| Nm5150 |
Hey Torquehd, I got one rule about jokes on my crew.If it is funny it is fine and if it is not you are just being a prick.My last crew had black and white males and females from all over,Mongolian,Mexican,Navajo,Guatemala and all ages including me.We were brutal after we got out on the line and had no problems On Topic.An optimist sees the glass as half full.The pessimist sees the glass as half empty.The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be  | ||
| Sifo |
Oklahoma’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. | ||
| Sifo |
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there.” | ||
| Midknyte |
Funny mashup ;p | ||
| 86129squids |
OK, a part of my brain just took a $hit. THAT was dumb, try again. | ||
| Zhen13 |
Confucius say, man who go through turnstile backwards is going to Bangkok. | ||
| Pwnzor |
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| Hootowl |
I'll try again. | ||
| 86129squids |
OK, that was a little better- thanks. | ||
| Midknyte |
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| 86129squids |
 THAT was a good 'un! Thought I'd see a big black smoke cloud... | ||
| Midknyte |
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| Midknyte |
https://i.imgur.com/bCkIrBb.mp4 | ||
| Hootowl |
I don't get the wrong wheel joke...someone enlighten me? | ||
| Froggy |
"Jesus take the wheel" | ||
| Reepicheep |
Like Froggy said, a well sung but insufferably sappy country song ear worm, even if it does mention my town. Well, at least it mentions my town when they play it in my market. I wouldn't put it past them to record different versions for different markets. Unless Carrie was stuck needing towns with 4 syllables and that end in "i" to make the song work... that narrows it down quite a bit. Dammit. Now I need to go put on some bad but catchy french pop songs to flush out that earworm (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAzgp7CCxMc) Or maybe some Karmin. That's good earworm solvent too. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJWJfRAGnHc) ("da, da, da da da dah, watch me do it acapella....") | ||
| Hootowl |
Never heard of it. I guess I am fortunate. Serves you guys right for listening to country music stations. | ||
| Hootowl |
This is more my speed. | ||
| Reepicheep |
OK, I admit it, I'm a sucker for a good Sugarland or Miranda Lambert tune. Especially when I am wrenching. | ||
| Reepicheep |
(Am I the only one that see's scenes from Spinal Tap in my head when they watch Hoot's video?  ) | ||
| Hootowl |
I guarantee you that, yes, you are the only one who sees spinal tap in your head. Others may also see it in their heads but not yours. | ||
| Reepicheep |
Now not only do I have that stupid "Jesus take the wheeeeeeel" song in my head, I'm thinking about how to make my volume knob go up to 11... | ||
| Sifo |
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again." | ||
| Midknyte |
https://vimeo.com/132725292 |
