| Author | Message | ||
     Danger_dave |
I have a jewish name - I'm not - I'm a practicing party animal at the church of regular hangovers - but I play along. The jokes are sometimes worth it. A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties. The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?” The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.” The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!” “OK,” said the old Jewish man, “it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.” Muttering, the Taliban charged away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead, grabbed the old Jewish man and said, “Your f***** brother won’t let me in without a tie!” | ||
| Gunut75 |
LMAO!  | ||
| Diablobrian |
That's pretty good. | ||
| Greenlantern |
Cowboy Boots An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?' Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.' Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?' Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!' Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?' 'Nope', she replied. 'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!' Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.' |
