| Author | Message | ||
     Chrisrogers3 |
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward will be to hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me." God commented, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Umm, yes." Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention: 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion; 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds; 3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much; 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust; 5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!" Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "Hold on." God went to his Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours. | ||
| Pwnzor |
Good one!  | ||
| Igneroid |
Hahahahahah good one. Here is a similar one, sorta. One day, the Pope dies and goes on up to heaven. St. Peter is at the gates, workin intently on his great big ledger. The Pope goes "Ahem." St.Pete says " Yeah, what can I do for you?" The Pope is slightly annoyed that St. Peter dosent know him. He says " Im the pope!" St.Peter goes "Hmmmmmm" as he scans a few pages in his ledger. "I cant seem to find you in my books right now and we are expecting a real big celebrity any time so if you will please take a seat, Ill get to you as soon as I can." says St. Peter. Well, the Pope is pissed, to say the least. Sure enuff, Billy Graham walks up to the gate and gets the same treatment as the Pope got from St. Peter. He's pised off too as he expected a big welcome. He sits beside the Pope in the waiting room and they complain to each other. All of a sudden, there are angels all over thee place playing horns and there is confetti and ribbons and such falling from the sky as this big fat fella carrying a thermos comes walking up to the gates. St.Peter runs out to greet this guy as the gates open up and they walk through the gates together as the Pope and Billy Graham watch angrily. After a while St. Peter comes back and says "OK, lets figure out what to do with you guys." They both are flabbergasted and Billy Graham screams,"Who the heck was that fella who just got the red carpet treatment??!!" St. Peter says " Why that was Jimmy Smith, a truck driver for J.B. Hunt. He alone, has scared the hell outta way more folks than you two combined." | ||
| Aldaytona |
This Biker dies and finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. The Biker looks up and says "I don't get it, i've been piece of crap my entire life, a cheat, a liar, a thief, committed almost every crime and sin known to man, why am I here?" St. Peter looks down at the Biker and calmly says "This is the only place you can go." About this time the Biker happens to see a bunch of normal, straight looking people running around kicking each other in the *arse. He looks back up at St. Peter and asks "What's up with those people?" St. Peter says "They didn't know this was the only place you could go either." *thanks to our relatives from across the pond |
