| Author | Message | ||
     Perry |
I could feel the temperature dropping and I was wishing I had plugged in my heated jacket as I rode home last night. It was about an hour after sunset. Prime time for the most menacing and dangerous species in the animal kingdom... the mule deer. But I'm ready.  I'm coming down a congested two-lane highway, going about 50 and following at that perfect safe distance - far enough back for good reaction time, but not far enough to encourage a left turn attempt in front of me. I'm used to seeing the deer carcasses on the side of the road, so I'm vigilantly scanning the view ahead and going a bit slower than usual. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I see some movement off to the right of the road up ahead. The car in front of me sees it too and we both brake smooth but hard with plenty of room. Suddenly the world seems to go into slow motion as a deer reaches the pavement and tries to stop in front of the car ahead of me - looks just like Bambi on the ice pond and slides on the asphalt, but then recovers and is stands right about on the centerline playing the "deer in the headlights" role quite literally. Myself and the driver in front of me are just sort of paused, waiting to see where the deer will go. Like a bad horror movie that ends so predictably I can see the animal's terror as the SUV coming toward us from the other direction shows no sign of slowing. Every second seems to last minutes and I'm feeling helpless as I'm sitting stopped, unable to do anything but watch. During the split-second eternity I wonder how the SUV doesn't notice we're stopped. And how about the animal in the road directly in the sweep of the headlights? I'm vaguely aware of my left hand desperately flashing the bright lights as SUV barrels on toward the inevitable. The brainless SUV driver finally notices the deer and brakes hard but much too late, and the panicked animal bolts... directly in front of something much larger, much faster, and made of metal. I watch and hear the front of the Escalade crumple as if in slow motion and bits of plastic fly everywhere in a surreal vision of a dark road, a smashed car, and... wait, a flying deer? It seems to be floating almost, the rag-doll body flying toward me at what now seems an alarming speed. I can see every detail of the deer's fur just like you can see the stitching on a baseball pitched at 60 miles per hour. The deer seems to look at me briefly with sad eyes as it continues, now inverted, heading straight for me through the air! Without time to go anywhere I just brace myself as the flopping and broken body bounces once on the pavement before spinning around and wacking my left ankle with something very hard. It flies past me on the left side as I narrowly avoid the direct impact. I recognize pain shooting through my booted ankle as I look back and see the dead deer fully 75 feet behind me. I pull off the highway to check my body, my bike, my sanity, and my shorts. After a few minutes my heart is beating at a semi-normal pace, my bike is somehow unscathed, and my ankle is badly bruised and painful, but not hurt seriously. The front of the Escalade is completely destroyed, plastic and metal littering the highway and a motionless animal lying just off the road is no longer a life-event, but just another dead deer carcass. I can't help but think what would have happened to my ankle without my boots, or worse - if the flying 600 pound rodent had scored a direct hit. I was nearly taken out by a flying deer on the rebound! It's not just your own stupidity that can kill you. No amount of careful, alert, and safe riding can avoid the effects of the oblivious SUV and the low-flying deer carcass. ATG-ATT. Just do it. | ||
| Nutsnbolt |
This has to be the best story I have read. There is nothing in this world more terrifying then a large deer/elk/moose/caribou. I can tell you what it is like to hear bullets zing past your head at thousands of miles per hour and tell the difference between mortors at close range and shells at even closer range. The familiar crack of an AK-47, but nothing on God's green and sometimes sandy earth scares me as much as any sort of large game running across the road while on 2 or 4 wheels. There's nothing like going 60 to zero in 4 hoof beats. I can only imagine. I have seen deer cut infront of my buddy, I was 300 feet away atleast.. I still screamed like a girl. Best story yet, dude. Mark | ||
| Xring |
Perry got run over by a mule deer?  Good story, dude. Glad you're OK. The slow-motion accident thing is scary but cool. Right after I got my Dodge Ram 4 years ago (still had temp tags on it) I 'bout nailed a whitetail on the interstate. I braked hard and the truck slewed off to the side a little bit, leaving skid marks. Gave the deer enough time to get around me. When I stopped at a stoplight just up the road, a guy that had been following me rolled his window down and said "Good driving man! I saw that deer start across, saw your new truck, and just thought 'Damn, that guy is gonna be sick'." Not sure it was good driving on my part, but glad I didn't hit it. Bill | ||
| Bdabuell |
There is nothing in this world more terrifying then a large deer/elk/moose/caribou ...except a flying large deer/elk/moose/caribou  That's quite a story...glad you came out of it OK | ||
| Hammeroid |
Perry, you should write for J. Peterman | ||
| Daves |
New record this morning on my weekly 300 mile drive to work. 14 dead deer on the side of the road. That is a dead deer every 21.43 miles on average. The rut has started so this is the worst time of the year for deer/vehicle accidents | ||
| Rasmonis |
Perry, Great story telling, it was like I was there... Hitting deer sux. Getting hit by a flying deer carcass I imagine sux too. | ||
| Mikexlr650 |
powerful imagery, ever thought of a career as a writer? the sound of an old ibm selectric humming away will always take me back to childhood, instant time travel. the ability to move others to another time or place is a real talent. | ||
| Hammeroid |
Hey mike, are you gonna be around this weekend?? Sean | ||
| Xbeau12s |
Glad your OK. That is strange that the SUV didn't slow down. Probably on the cell phone! | ||
| Liquorbox |
Amazing story Man. Great writer too. I lost a friend to a deer that tried to jump over he & his bike. Caught him on the helmet, stripping him off the bike, breaking his neck & killing him instantly. Sad event. | ||
| Lost_in_ohio |
This the week of Peak Rut here in Ohio....I am sure it can't be far behind in your neck of the woods......So be careful out there. | ||
| Diablobrian |
Great story and yet another example of ATGATT saving a rider from severe misery. I'm glad you were able to walk (limp) away with only a bruised ankle. It could have been worse. Good job keeping your eyes open and spotting trouble early, but as has been said; You are not always in control of the events that can take you out. Be prepared! ATGATT You never know when a drunk, cell phone talking, distracted, SUV driving, deer-in-rut will come flying through the air into your path of travel, or will hit you if you are stopped. | ||
| Mikexlr650 |
hammeroid, doin estimates till about 3 on saturday. prolly around on sunday most of the day, if your in the area stop by. | ||
| Hammeroid |
Okay mike, sounds good. I'll give a call on Sat. |
