| Author | Message | ||
     Crusty |
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in- law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?" I replied "Dust". And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment .' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds'. I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started... . ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started... . ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ** I took my wife to a restaurant . The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's when the fight started... .. | ||
| Ferris_von_bueller |
Maybe you should talk about motorcycles on this forum. You'd be amazed at the wealth of information pertinent to Buells that is available here.  | ||
| Gregtonn |
 Dang near peed myself. But there wasn't a anything in there about motorcycles. This motorcycle board going to hell. G  | ||
| Gregtonn |
****************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?" And then the fight started..... ****************************************** When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started... ****************************************** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And then the fight started... ****************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ****************************************** G | ||
| Slaughter |
The elderly gent asked his wife about his doctor appointment being cancelled. Wife said she cancelled it for him... when he asked WHY - she said they just needed blood, urine, semen and fecal samples so she just took in some of his underwear. ...and that's when the fight started | ||
| Court |
With all this gay marriage crap in the news I'm moving toward a tempered belief that perhaps we should allow any two like things to become married . . . . . it occurred to me that even two antennas could get married. The ceremony might be dull but the reception would be fabulous! | ||
| Ferrisbuellersdayoff |
...lame | ||
| Froggy |
Court, I don't think I have ever done a facepalm after reading one of your posts till now... | ||
| Danger_dave |
>>But there wasn't a anything in there about motorcycles. << I pulled up outside the Pub and some dude said...'Nice Harley.' That's when etc. | ||
| Vampress |
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, the bike.... Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.' The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. | ||
| Greenlantern |
Don't get discouraged Court, this place is always a tough room.  | ||
| B00stzx3 |
"The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' Lol that's a keeper. | ||
| Cochise |
Wife asks, "Do these pants make me look fat?" "No, I replied, "Your ass does." | ||
| Dragonslayer |
Funny stuff. I posted it on another bike forum, not knowing it had been posted a year ago. Man they jumped down my throat. I didn't know reposting was that big a sin. Time to go to confession. | ||
| Slaughter |
Dragon - spend some time googling "repost" and you should SEE all the cartoons! | ||
| Froggy |
Depending on who does any reposting here, I will attack them with an assault of repost images   .jpg) .jpg)   | ||
| Spdkls |
one of my favorite's  | ||
| Spdkls |
so...i started a political thread, about "why conservatives are so mean"... and thats how the fight started.. just had to throw that one out there...  | ||
| Cyclonedon |
+1 Spdkis  | ||
| 86129squids |
Cats and dogs fight in my head all the time. | ||
| Spdkls |
i really didn't start it, but i thought it would be funny |
