| Author | Message | ||
     Froggy |
Whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, you might enjoy reading this....matters not... Walking Eagle Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first female President. She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval. Although the Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers". At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they come to select the new name given to the Senator. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh *t it can no longer fly. | ||
| Wolf102 |
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| Bill0351 |
Judging from the recent primary results, the majority of Democrats agree. Bill | ||
| Damnut |
George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George. The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!" | ||
| Kyrocket |
A PAID POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT BY SEN. BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA (D- ILL) My fellow Identity-Americans. As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for their ... well, support. Your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change. I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing. I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr., and Teddy killed a teenage girl. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House. Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them. Americans are tired of thinking. They've forgotton that campaign promises are exactly that! Promises. The Legislative and Judicial branches of government govern. It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote in the primaries, remember don't think, just do. And do it for me. Thank You. |
