| Author | Message | ||
     Duff24 |
1. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's "electronics" in it. 2. When the printer won't print, resend the job atleast 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. 3. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One is bound to work. 4. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up." 5. When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument. (feel free to add your own  | ||
| Vortec57 |
Not IT related, but one we had at the shop this week: When you pull your new ATV home in 30 degree temps on an open trailer, don't let it thaw out any before cranking the starter till the battery dies, then want warranty replacement. Once said battery is charged, ride the ATV for an entire day, and then complain that "something" is wrong, as it died while riding and won't restart (crank till battery dies) And be sure to NOT have gas in it. The techs won't laugh at you for a week in the back of the shop | ||
| Cityxslicker |
I had one guy convinced that the reason his mouse wasnt working (I had unplugged it from the back of his CPU) was that his mouse track ball was in "upside-down". He removed the cover, looked at it, and carefully turned it 180 degrees and put it back in, .. while he was occupied I slide the mouse plug back into its port. Ah... I love April 1st | ||
| Coal400 |
There used to be a toy called "netbus". Its old news now since all AV programs have signatures for it, and most companies are security minded. I was fortunate enough to be in IT during a more naive time, so we were able to get away with murder. I used to rename the netbus.exe to "game.exe", and send it on to unsuspecting sales folks. They would click on the attachment and see nothing, but the netbus was actually running in the background. They'd reply back complaining that the game did not work, and I'd "re send it" but with an actual game attached. A quick broadcast/scan over the network and you could find all the netbus infected machines, at which point you could take control over someone's system. One really funny feature of Netbus is that you could set the cdrom to eject on a specified time interval. I still laugh out loud when I think about the looks people made, "My CDROM is going crazy". You could override someone's typing, eavesdrop, play sounds, and switch their mouse from right to left handed config - all from a remote location. The most difficult thing would be to control your laughter. Good times... | ||
| Coal400 |
oh.. one good prank that still works today. Take a screen shot of someone's desktop. Set the screenshot as their wall paper, and hide their task bar off to the side. One guy I did this to rebooted his system 6 times cause he thought it was locked up. He kept clicking on things that were actually his wallpaper (including the start button). That was a good one too | ||
| Blackbelt |
I have an old program that worked on windows 2k that randomly changed the windows color scheme. FREAKING IRRITATING! Another one that copies your desktop icons over and over again, the only problem is it moves your origonal icons and they are the only ones that work... that sucks... We give these programs to newbies and see who will actually work it out or freak out... | ||
| Buellinachinashop |
6) That tray that pops out of your computer isn't a cup holder. | ||
| Hdbobwithabuell |
I like to unplug the handset from the phone, put a tiny little piece of clear tape over the connectors and plug it back in. | ||
| Swordsman |
One of my 3 roommates back in college was an EverQuest junkie, and worked an odd shift from the rest of us. On weekends he'd rather sit at his PC and "camp" than go out and do stuff with the rest of us, so we gave him hell over it. One time we fired up his PC and changed the shortcut properties of the EverQuest icon on his desktop. Instead of linking to the game, we linked it to the Chippendale's website homepage, which had a nice Flash intro video of them dancing around. And once I made him a "special" wallpaper... Photoshopped him into a scene with a 500 lb. naked chick. He still hasn't forgiven me for that one.  ~SM | ||
| Reepicheep |
ThinkGeek has what looks exactly like an old fashioned black analog phone handset, but without the rest of the phone. It is actually a fully functional bluetooth headset. So you can walk around talking onto that thing looking like you are nuts... until somebody gets close enough to realize there really is another person on the other end of the call. I don't have the disposable income for that kind of toy, but its way cool! | ||
| Thumper74 |
I like taking the mouse ball out, wrap it in tape and reinstall. We did the screenshot to our computer lab teacher in highschool. It took him forever... | ||
| Tq_freak |
take the mouse ball out, put a small piece of tape on one of the rollers and put it back it. or with the lazer mouse a small piece right on the optical will do the trick. | ||
| Jackbequick |
Go to the Panel and change the mouse from right handed to left handed. That will keep them busy for a while. We had one of our tech guys open up a mouse one time and reverse the leads on the two rollers. If you want to see how it worked, rotate your mouse 180 degrees (so the cord, if it had one, would be under the heel of your hand). Then there were the tech guys that used to have Solitaire races. Start the same game number at the same time and the loser buys the sodas (there were no beer machines around Navy working spaces). Like FreeCell? Try game number 11,982. Jack | ||
| Chrisb |
I'm a DBA so everybody thinks I'm IT support....Here's some of my favorites Surf Jailbabes.com so much that the cache fills your hard drive. When busted claim it wasnt you. Even though the PC is in your office and you asked me 2 days ago where "x" town is because you wanted to go see a friend that lives there. (turns out the only thing in town "x" is a state pen for women. Save all your spreadsheets to the desktop then wonder why the machine is slow. Spill Yoohoo all over your keyboard, run out the DBA in the parking lot who doesnt even has his helmet off yet and declare you have a dire emergency. Then throw a shit fit when he takes it to the deep sink and runs it under the water. ( I dried it out and it worked fine) Save your most important file ONLY on your thumb drive make sure to encrypt the thumb drive and forget the password. Make sure everyone in the office except the DBA gets new 21" flat panels. Then have the big titty'd assistant ask him to go around and hook them up for everyone. ( My response was "I'm sick" "I'm going home" Took the rest of the day and rode.) | ||
| Reepicheep |
On a windows XP machine? Hold down ctrl-alt and the down arrow key. (Not sure it works everywhere... but its harmless). (ctrl-alt-up or ctrl-alt-down to fix it) | ||
| Midknyte |
ctrl-alt and the down arrow oh that's a hoot! thanks | ||
| Wardan123 |
For the guy/girl that hunts and pecks at the keyboard I pop off the "M" and "N" key and switch them. Hours of crazy fun! | ||
| Kenb |
imagine his call to pc support; http://www.metacafe.com/watch/22760/coffee_cup_hol der/ | ||
| Swordsman |
I'm the "techie-est" guy in my department, so I usually get called in before anyone goes through our official IT rigamaro. There was an older lady (nearly retirement age) that worked with us not long ago, and she was constantly calling me over for help. One day her PC completely locked up on her for no good reason. After poking around a bit, I discovered that when Outlook Express didn't open INSTANTLY, she double-clicked the icon again. And again. And again. Her PC wasn't frozen after all... it was just struggling to open 32 separate instances of Outlook simultaneously. ~SM | ||
| Pwnzor |
she double-clicked the icon again. And again. And again. Ugh... my mom is always doing that... she calls me and yells that her computer is "locked up". She's a chronic clicker of everything. | ||
| Swampy |
I just had a wonderful experience with the IT peoples(Somewhere, I don't know where they work out of, probably in the vicinity) Anyways "They" just came out with the idea "we" need more security, so now when I dial in I have to use the RSA SecurID. Well of course my 8 year old laptop wouldn't swallow all those numbers, so I talked to the computer guru in the next cubi and she hooked me up with THE computer guru at some mysterious location. Low and behold, my SecurID token was reported as stolden! She reset everything from her remote location, and we worked on it together for a few hours and now it works fine! Then when I went to set a co-workers laptop up for the same purpose(he has my old laptop 9+ years old) it needed to be loaded with Windows XP. So when I sent it to the local grouchy computer gurus on the floor below, they have suddenly found a way to get us some new laptops! Ones that won't take 45 minutes to load windows before it begins working. And to say our state is broke.... | ||
| Reepicheep |
Not running a two factor solution (like the RSA secure ID) for remote network connectivity, in this day and age, is like racing formula extreme in flip flops and shorts. That does not mean its not a PITA, it just means its a necessary PITA. | ||
| Just_ziptab |
Related. I took a guys keys and put a slip of paper under the battery in the remote. All fun when his doors wouldn't unlock. More fun in that he was an electrician and didn't even check the battery and find the slip of paper with my initials on it. Great fun when I told him what I did.......AFTER he took it to the Ford garage and they didn't check it either..they replaced it under warranty!! Hook a jumper from the starter wire to the horn on a co workers pickup. Every time he started it, the horn also blew and he looked around to see who was honking at him. Hang up the phone handset upside down......works neart every time....even got my self once. We can't have cell phones at work, but some of the guys call their cell phones on the company phones to see if there are any messages. I hit "call last number" and retrieve their cell phone number AND their password off the display. I call their phone and change the greeting to something to the effect that they are gay................Oh MAN! | ||
| Blake |
I thought I was cruel/funny lowering my work buddy's chair by a half inch per day and another time setting his desk clock a few minutes ahead every day when he was away from his desk, then back to correct time after he left in the evening--he always left at the buzzer. It got to where he was leaving ten minutes early and the boss made a passing comment. Rubber snake in the desk drawer was always funny. Anyone here familiar with the term "burping the cushion"? Never, ever, if you value your non-toxicity, sit in Skully's office chair. | ||
| Swampy |
Aparently the joke is on me. I got to the office yesterday and find a memo that beginning January 1, travel reimbursements for meals are only going to be reimbursed from reciepts. For 22 years they have been paying a standard perdiem which makes it easy to take people out when traveling by eating cheap and saving up. No word on the new laptops though! RSA 666101 | ||
| Iamike |
I like to have fun with the union guys since they are so paranoid. When I installed a wireless access point in the storeroom (where everyone walks through) I told them that it automatically read their security card every time they went by. It caused a lot of consternation for awhile. |
