| Author | Message | ||
     Midknyte |
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As the lady neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?" He replied, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area."   | ||
| Rubdoggy |
Groan... | ||
| U4euh |
A little old lady answered a knock at the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," he said. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away" said the old lady. " I haven't got any money! I'M BROKE!!!" She proceeded to close the door and quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty" he said. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum does not remove all traces of the manure from your carpet, I will personally eat what is leftover. The lady stepped back, looked at the pile then the young man and said, "Well I hope you've got a darned good appetite, they cut off my electricity this morning." |
