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86129squids
| Posted on Saturday, July 03, 2021 - 08:37 am: |
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I once had two female hand-raised cockatiels. LOVED THEM. Best part: If I left them in their nice, oversized cage with enough food/water, they'd be good for several days alone, keeping themselves company. Just open the cage, and they'd fly around and be goofy with me. Low cost and worries all around. Weirdly, they'd eat ANYTHING I was eating. Gobs of personality in both birds. Update: Rocky is BACK! He's happy as a pig shizzin' it, back on the job as our security detail. D'Ogee was visibly happy to see his little brother. All is well, I just GOT to get caught up on my rest... |
86129squids
| Posted on Saturday, July 03, 2021 - 08:44 am: |
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One crucial detail I forgot: With parrots, it's best to get a female. People generally want a male parrot over a female because they're easier to train to talk, but- it's not easy to keep a male bird tame. And, size matters. I decided against anything bigger than a cockatiel because I'd rather not have any crucial body parts sheared off. If a parrot decides to hate you and attack, you'll have to waterboard it to get it off your finger or whatever. Kitchen faucet, or what have you. DAMHIK |
Jaimec
| Posted on Saturday, July 03, 2021 - 12:03 pm: |
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I've been told parrots "Sex bond." This is more notable in African Gray parrots but a male parrot will bond with human females, and female parrots will bond with human males. From my friends who've owned parrots my observations bare this out. Strange. Also, African Grays are the WORST for this behavior; they're better in homes with singles or gay couples than a traditional heterosexual couple. A friend said I was better off with an Amazon parrot as they may not talk as well as an African Gray but any partner I may bring home would be far happier with it. |
Jaimec
| Posted on Sunday, July 04, 2021 - 07:33 am: |
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Yesterday was her Memorial Service. It was raining, but I rode my K1200LT to the service. This is the eulogy I gave:
quote:29 years ago, our friends J--- and D----- S---- thought that the two of us might be a good match. I had just been dumped by a woman I took for rides on my motorcycle, and she had just been dumped by a guy who used to take her on motorcycle rides. They gave me her phone number and I gave her a call. I enjoyed that conversation and several more we had so I took a ride up to where she was living with the S----s (she was living in Poughkeepsie at the time) to meet her in person. To be brutally honest, it wasn’t a fairy-tale “Love at First Sight,” at least not for me. I liked her and enjoyed her company but there was no indication that she was going to be “the one.” But they say the flame that burns slowly burns the longest and that was very true here. We started out slowly but I soon realized I could be completely at ease and be totally “myself” with her. It wasn’t that long after that we decided to live together and she moved in with me in my mother’s house. Once I felt confident in my employment situation (I had already had to move back in with my mother when I’d lost a job and couldn’t afford where I’d been living before) we moved out into a place of our own. When the landlord’s situation had changed and he reluctantly asked us to move out, we bought our first house together. While we were still living in my mother’s house, I took delivery of a new motorcycle; a 1999 BMW K1200LT. It was to replace the aging Yamaha we were using for our long, interstate travels and after a weekend-long test ride with her we decided she’d be comfortable on it. We went everywhere on that bike. Her favorite destination was the Canadian Atlantic provinces of Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, Prince Edward Island and New Brunswick. We even took several of our friends with us over the years on those travels. As the years went by, her body was slowly breaking down and she was unable to sit on the bike for that long. She was still game for the short rides, but the long trips became a distant memory. The last time she rode on the bike was the day we (FINALLY) got married on May 19, 2012. We figured since we met because of motorcycling, it would only be fitting that we sealed the relationship with the bike. She never rode on the bike after that. It was too hard for her to climb on and off the bike but she never lost hope. To the very end, she would say she was determined to be well enough to get back on that bike and go riding with me again. I kept that bike all of these years because I wanted to keep that hope alive. On this day, 22 years ago, is when I first rode that bike home from the dealership. We rode it to our wedding nine years ago and I felt it only fitting that I ride it here to remember my wife, my love, and the best friend I’ve ever had and give her one last final ride home on it. I love you, Denise! I know the pain has finally ended for you but I’m going to miss you forever.
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86129squids
| Posted on Sunday, July 04, 2021 - 04:00 pm: |
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That is quite simply. one of the most unimaginably beautiful things. Ever. I'll add that to my long, LONG list of blessings I've received from my family here. Someday, I hope we get to ride, my brother. And thank you. JBH |
Court
| Posted on Sunday, July 04, 2021 - 10:17 pm: |
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Prayers are with you Jaime. Court |
Jaimec
| Posted on Friday, July 09, 2021 - 10:09 am: |
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He helps keep me planted, but he misses her too.
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86129squids
| Posted on Friday, July 09, 2021 - 09:20 pm: |
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Cat flavor: Awesome, with a side of meh ow. |
Jaimec
| Posted on Monday, July 19, 2021 - 03:20 pm: |
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Stop procrastinating! Those things you've always wanted to do? DO THEM! We thought we had all the time in the world. No one could've anticipated 2020 and the entire world shutting down but we thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel and we could start chasing our dreams. True to form, the light at the end of the tunnel was just the oncoming train. What a mess. She had no will. She never updated the beneficiaries on her accounts (nor even assigned any to more than one) since we were married and now I'm trying to dig through this mess. At least I've now made sure all of my accounts have named beneficiaries. |
Jaimec
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 07:33 am: |
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It's been exactly one month since the worst day of my life. |
H0gwash
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 11:14 am: |
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It gets better, but slowly. It is more than 4 months since and I'm still awaiting the HUD decision whether I can stay here or if I must sell and move out to under my own rental house 3 miles away. Either path is good but involves a different set of hurdles. The purgatory is frustrating though. Right now I'm cleaning up for the memorial/'HUD reveal' party. If I must move out, I'm hoping guests will take most of the new furniture with them. I would love to do it all over again, but the path is unclear because I've become a different person in the last 25 years. The lack of a roadmap to something similar is both frustrating and liberating, but I suppose that is the curse and gift of survivors. Be good to yourself. |
Jaimec
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 12:03 pm: |
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I've considered moving into a condo and selling the house now but there's no such thing as a condo with a two car garage that I know about... |
86129squids
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 01:35 pm: |
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Hang in there, friends. I'm about to reap the whirlwind, a different one to be sure. A week and a month from my wedding day. Life is never easy, nor boring, all good, all bad and nothing of it. Know that my best mojo flows to you, any time I have it.
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86129squids
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 01:38 pm: |
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Honestly, I get mad at myself when I forget to order one of these calendars by the start of a year. |
H0gwash
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 02:10 pm: |
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My rental has covered motorcycle parking but I'd have to park the Ranchero and the camper van at Mom and Dad's place 9 miles away, something I'd rather not do. I do see this in craigslist, but 4 bedrooms is probably a bit much. https://longisland.craigslist.org/apa/d/hicksville -move-in-ready-home-you-will/7338328877.html |
Jaimec
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 04:24 pm: |
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That's bigger than where I live now, but the rental rate is less than my mortgage payments. I'll stick around here for now. |
Blake
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 05:01 pm: |
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I hate moving. |
Jaimec
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 05:50 pm: |
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quote:I hate moving
Ditto. When my wife and I moved into this place seven years ago, I said I was done with moving and that I was going to die here. I wasn't ready for her to go first... |
86129squids
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 05:58 pm: |
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When my grandmother died, Mamwa, she had been with my Pop for 53 years. He called in an absolute auction. My mom, sister and I had to restrain ourselves from tackling the auctioneers, they were bringing out things... from our whole lives. All gone. Pop wanted none of it. Later, he remarried. My third grandmother was Polly. Love springs eternal, this is true. |
86129squids
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 05:59 pm: |
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Two men and a truck? |
Mnrider
| Posted on Friday, July 23, 2021 - 10:45 pm: |
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Jaimec I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You ask how do you cope. My wife of 39 years was diagnosed with Cortical Basal Syndrome four years ago,it is a form of Dementia.She is only 59 years old.I've seen her go from being very athletic and adventurous to now needing help with almost everything.I am now caring for her full time. How do I cope? Sure there are tears when I think about what I thought our lives were going to be.But I know that if I give my best and with the help of our children and families I can be strong for her.It hurts,my heart is broken everyday. How do I cope? I don't know, I just want to do the right thing for her and our families.Just knowing we did the right thing is how we cope. |
86129squids
| Posted on Saturday, July 24, 2021 - 01:57 pm: |
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Got another one, Jaime. Here's hoping you have a weekend, one that's good enough. Keep on keepin' on. You know, some weeks I'll look at these "days", pages, and just scratch my head. "WTF is that all about?" Then, I'll get a run of good ones. Usually they're good. Here's one.
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Ducxl
| Posted on Sunday, July 25, 2021 - 03:17 pm: |
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Very sorry, Jaime Cruz. I've watched you over the years. From Beemers to electrics. We here in RI are solitary with only Kitty cats. I feel your pain. Condolences, We all don't want to lose our best Friend,our partner. |
Blasterd
| Posted on Monday, July 26, 2021 - 10:50 pm: |
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Sorry to hear this man I remember you from way way back, prayers to you buddy |
86129squids
| Posted on Monday, August 02, 2021 - 11:18 pm: |
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86129squids
| Posted on Tuesday, August 03, 2021 - 11:27 pm: |
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My turn. M just learned that her best friend's widower lost his only son a day or two ago. We are awaiting news of the funeral, pending an autopsy. A massive heart attack is suspected, he died in his sleep. In his 40's. Reap the whirlwind, my ass. Fire the crucible. |
Jaimec
| Posted on Wednesday, August 04, 2021 - 08:31 am: |
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As I had posted on Facebook: I have to stop looking for that light at the end of the tunnel because it ALWAYS turns out to be an oncoming train. |
Ulywife
| Posted on Thursday, August 05, 2021 - 10:26 am: |
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My sincere condolences. I can't imagine the pain and heartache that you feel. They say "time heals", but I feel that time just gives you the ability to cope. Some days will be hour by hour, some will be minute by minute. In time you will find that when you think of Denise, you will smile and laugh instead of wanting to cry. You'll always miss her and she will always be a part of your life. Friends many times don't know what to say or don't want to upset you. Don't take this as uncaring. This is where therapy or a support group can be helpful. They know how you're feeling and the emotional roller coaster you're on. Find ways to celebrate Denise's life and the life you made together. Your Buell family is always here. (Message edited by ulywife on August 06, 2021) |
Canario
| Posted on Thursday, August 05, 2021 - 10:58 am: |
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Hello Bueller, Hang in there. One day at a time. |
86129squids
| Posted on Friday, August 06, 2021 - 09:28 am: |
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Jaime. Sometimes I am as tone deaf as a brick. Just because my stuff happens, that has no bearing or use here. Please know you can call upon me anytime. And thanks, Kristi. Wish I could hug you all at once, dunno about Carlos. |
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