| Author | Message | ||
     86129squids |
That's awesome, just sent that to my chaplain sis!! | ||
| Strokizator |
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors", he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throat and says, "Bad food". They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit", he says. "That's not surprising", the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here." (Apologies if this is a repeat)} | ||
| Ducbsa |
Not sure where else to post this: https://www.earthlymission.com/russia-wants-bulgar ians-to-stop-painting-soviet-monuments-to-look-lik e-american-superheroes/?fbclid=IwAR1Rt962uoGHnLTlN OmXF_Ju0s9Qmbx58usSx4RoppWRbE8U26277ReZcx0%C2%A0  | ||
| Pwnzor |
Awesome | ||
| 86129squids |
That's fricking great! Best is Ronald McDonald holding the American flag...  | ||
| Hootowl |
I don’t know. These are monuments to soldiers who died fight the Nazis. I think it is quite disrespectful. | ||
| Pwnzor |
Hoot's right. I still found it funny on the surface... I mean, it's not like they painted dicks on their foreheads or anything like that. I don't see malice in the act. | ||
| 86129squids |
 I'm with both of ya. It's kinda fascinating for me, culture difference and all. Don't diss the soldiers. | ||
| Ducbsa |
 | ||
| Skinstains |
It's better than what we here in the US have been doing to our art, at least you can wash that off. | ||
| Aesquire |
Consider. Are The statues celebrating the defeat of Hitler by the combined peoples of the Union? Or a celebration of the brutal conquest of Bulgaria by Soviet troops? Anyone know? Would it change your opinion of the Art/graphiti? Would knowing Bulgaria was an ally of the Axis, but didn't participate in the invasion of Russia, operation Barbarosa. And shielded their Jews from Hitler's genocide. Make a difference? | ||
| Crusty |
How many “Deadheads” does it take to change a light bulb? 10. 1 to change the bulb, 3 to tape it and 6 to follow the burned out bulb around. | ||
| Airbozo |
Some of my very best friends were Deadheads and I challenge your numbers. I know for sure it would take a whole room full of stoned people just to determine if the bulb was actually burned out or not and then a whole other room full of people to determine who would be best suited to actually change it and who should be backups and support personnel. In the end the bulb would never get changed because everyone would be too stoned or tripping to actually get up and change it. The rest wouldn't care. | ||
| Ourdee |
And 4 of them would sit on the couch saying "wow man","This Is It","It's melting","SCREAM...." | ||
| Crusty |
You forgot the ones saying, "Far Out!" | ||
| 86129squids |
Suppositions. Suppositories. Take what you will. | ||
| Crusty |
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? 10. 1 to change the bulb, 4 to sing about the old one, and 5 to walk out because it's electric. | ||
| 86129squids |
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. | ||
| Ratbuell |
I thought it was "fruit flies like bananas"... | ||
| Crusty |
You know how small fruit flies are? One banana could feed a whole squadron of them for a long time. However, they won't complain if there's more than one banana. I guess that means that either phrase is acceptable. | ||
| Hootowl |
It is fruit flies like a banana. | ||
| Crusty |
So a termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?" | ||
| Hootowl |
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, why the long face? | ||
| Ourdee |
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!" The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says no. "Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?" | ||
| Hootowl |
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One asks the other, does this taste funny to you? | ||
| Hootowl |
You know, if we’re telling dumb jokes  And we seem to be... | ||
| Crusty |
And then there was the guy who decided to throw a costume party where everybody had to come dressed as an emotion. On the night of the party, the doorbell rang and the guy answered it to find someone dressed all in red. "What are you?", he asked. "I'm angry!" was the reply. "OK; come on in!" A couple of minutes later, the doorbell rang again and when the guy answered it, he saw someone dressed completely in blue. "What are you?" he asked. "I'm depressed", was the answer. "Come on in!" The bell rang again, and he saw a woman dressed completely in green. "What are you?", he asked. "I'm jealous", she replied. "Come in!", he said. Then, the bell rang again. When he answered the door, he saw a guy completely naked with a pie over his crotch. "What are you?" he asked, puzzled. The guest answered, "I'm f**kin' dis custard." | ||
| Gregtonn |
If bananas truly are an herb that joke is fruitless.  G | ||
| Hootowl |
I took the shell off my racing snail to make it go faster, but it made it slugish. | ||
| Crusty |
Did you hear about the two corpuscles who loved in vein? |
