| Author | Message | ||
     86129squids |
"I have a friend of a friend who’s drop dead beautiful. She’s quite attractive, seems reasonably intelligent and I find myself drawn to her and she seems to like me. There’s only one problem; she doesn’t like motorcycles. She won’t ride on one. Motorcycles are my life, so I don’t see any hope in pursuing her. Hell, I can’t even take her out to dinner; my bike is my only transportation. Oh well…" Uber! Or, I'm sure she could drive youn's out for a date... I'd find a workaround somehow! | ||
| Pwnzor |
If she doesn't like motorcycles, she can never be much more than just a friend. Never compromise, you have come too far in life to try and change who you are. If she wants sex, ride to her place and watch a movie when you're done. She can cook you dinner. Then ride off into the sunset like the renegade you are. | ||
| Crusty |
I Still Owe Him One In 1980, I woke up one Monday morning in May with an enormous hangover. I decided that I wasn’t going to work that day and went back to sleep. When I woke up a few yours later, I decided that I wasn’t going back to that job, period. So I went down to the local Travel Agent and bought a ticket to Nairobi, Kenya. Ron and Melia were there and they were my best friends and I felt it was time for me to explore some of the world outside the USA. I went down to the Federal building in Boston where I could get my Passport (back then, you could get a Passport in less than a day), borrowed a suitcase from my Folks and talked my brother David into giving me a ride into Logan Airport. I didn’t have a visa for Kenya, but Melia told me that it wouldn’t be a problem. So, on Wednesday afternoon, David, Michael (his roommate) and I were headed toward Boston. Of course, we were smoking some very potent herb as was usual in those days, as I wanted to enjoy my flight. After we finished the first joint, David pulled up in front of a corner store, and I went in to get some tonic (sodas) for the three of us. While I was in the store, David opened my suitcase and deposited a very realistically colored and very large rubber dildo on top of my clothes, then closed the suitcase back up. I came out of the store with the cans of tonic, and we proceeded to Logan. David and Michael came into the terminal with me. I checked my bag then got in line to go through Customs. It was while I was standing in line pleasantly buzzed that David told me what he’d done. It “Harshed my mellow”,to use an appropriate expression. Here I was going to a very foreign country without a visa and the first thing Customs was going to see was an oversized penis! However, my bag was checked and there was nothing I could do about it. Except worry. And I worried about it as I made my way toward East Africa. When I got to Nairobi, I collected my bag and got in line to go through Customs. When the Customs Agent opened my bag, he held up the Dildo and asked, “What is this?” I said, “It’s a joke. Someone put that in there to embarrass me.” He said, “You can not bring things like this into our country!” And I replied, “I don’t want to! You can keep it; I don’t want it!” With that, he put it back on top of my clothes, closed my suitcase and let me continue through. He didn’t confiscate it, or make me throw it away or anything. Still, I was thoroughly embarrassed. I have yet to get even with David for that prank, but one of these days, I will. | ||
| Zac4mac |
John - sorry I missed your B-Day, Happy Belated! I say pursue that wonderful creature. I finally found the "right one" 13 years ago. Took her for a few rides early on and slowly realized it "wasn't her thing". She DOES want a ride on the Westwind tho. She doesn't mind my riding tho, she prefers riding the couch and watching movies in her off-time. Anytime I get to go for a ride, all I do is give a kiss and say "see ya later". I'll try to be back before dinner... Z | ||
| Pwnzor |
Airport pranks... that's a good one. Years ago when I lived on Naples Island in Long Beach CA, I got a new neighbor named Sam. He had moved from Philadelphia and didn't know too many people. He was a waiter at a fancy restaurant, typically pulling down about $300 a night in tips, on top of his pay check. We got to know each other, hung out a lot, dated some of the same girls, and yes we smoked a lot of weed together. This guy looked as straight-arrow as they come. Most of my friends were not ones who could fit that description, even after you clean them up a LOT. ALL of them thought Sam was a narc. I assured them all that he wasn't. I mean, Sam and I did a lot of smoking, drinking, dropping acid, everything... I felt pretty sure he wasn't an undercover agent. He looked like it, but judging books by their covers can gather no moss. Or something like that. Fast forward to Thanksgiving and it turns out that Sam's family is all in Philly and he has nowhere to go for the holiday. So I invited him to fly up to northern California with me, and join my family for this yearly meal. We're at the airport... he's looking all GQ and I'm in tattered jeans with a skateboard, long beard, backpack, totally suspicious looking. This is pre-9/11, so I'm not worried about the bag of dope in my underwear. What I didn't know is that Sam was also holding, in a sunglass case with a metal hinge, in his jacket pocket... stuffed in there is about 5 grams of mushrooms and a bunch of stinky weed. He gets stopped by security, and I'm already in the clear, heading to my gate. I noticed he wasn't with me any more, and I turn to see him spread eagle to the wall, and they are dumping his pockets on the ground. I'm busy trying to melt into the background, and thinking about explaining to my family about my friend who didn't quite make it. Then, before my very eyes, I watched them let my friend Sam pick up all his belongings, INCLUDING HIS DOPE, and put it all back in his pockets, and they are apologizing to him, and let him go. Now, I'm freaking out. What the hell, man... there's no way you got out of that! How the hell did you do that??? What did you say to them? He said he told them it was for personal use, and they suddenly decided to let him go on his way. Of course, now anybody I tell this story to would say that I'm nothing short of insane to even associate with this guy beyond this point. He's GOT to be a cop. There is no other explanation except that he is trying to get to my associates through me, and now I'm marked by everybody I ever knew as being on the government radar. We continued our trip, had a good time, and wandered around San Francisco on foot, taking cabs, even scoring more dope in the Haight while walking to the park. I had to make him walk on the other side of the street while I did so, because all the hippies wouldn't talk to me while that square was anywhere in the vicinity. When we got back to Long Beach, I moved out of that apartment within 24 hours of arrival, and severed all ties with Sam. I wonder where he is today... | ||
| 86129squids |
Hmmm... remind me to tell you about loading up from HC2010. I've got target lock on Barker. | ||
| Court |
>>>oversized penis! Define "overszed". . . . . Happy Birthday ! | ||
| Crusty |
Define "oversized". Oh; about a foot long and at least 2 " in diameter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EPRSvFOyIE (Message edited by Crusty on September 22, 2016) | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
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| Pwnzor |
OK... I know I got a bit off topic there, but I think we are now completely off the rails. Crusty... snippet (non-penis-related) please. | ||
| 86129squids |
Good God I love the twisted humor youn's come up with! Thanks Mark! ... And, this thread- | ||
| Crusty |
Cannons and Spending Well; my birthday is over. I’m officially a year older, though I don’t feel any age difference. I had my Birthday Dinner - Delmonico Steak, fresh Sweet Corn and asparagus in a spicy szechuan sauce. I had a slice of Chambord Torte with a cup of fresh ground and brewed Kenya coffee. I even got a few presents. Tammy bought me dinner on Wednesday evening, Dondi gave me a copy of The Mouse And The Motorcycle, and I got a couple of cards with some cash in them. The book looks really interesting. It’s a kid’s book, but I think it’ll be a fun read. I decided to use the cash to buy an Ear Cannon. The Ear Cannon is on my list of improvements for the bike and since I got a total of $40.00, and the horn costs $40.00, it looked like an ideal match. This is a five week month and that means that I have to be particularly frugal. That fifth week can really be a tough one sometimes. However, as I was ordering the horn, I decided to also get the plug and play wiring harness. Well, it’s only another $25.00. I can cut a couple of corners on meals; I’ll be OK. Then there’s shipping; that’s another ten bucks. Suddenly, that forty dollar horn has become a $75.00 purchase. So I’ll eat hot dogs for dinner a couple of times. Once the horn is on the bike and I’ve gotten my next check, the inconvenience will be quickly forgotten. Back in 1995, I was working in a tunnel as the Signalman on a Tunnel Boring Machine. A train would pull up into the TBM and the conveyor would bring all the chewed up granite and dump it into the open cars of the train. I would signal the Train Operator to pull up and stop so each car would get properly filled. After the train was full and would pull out to take its load to the shaft, I would shovel the spillage off to the side of the tunnel. While the description of the job sounds easy, shoveling rock never is. I was on the Swing shift (4:00 PM to Midnight) One night, the Graveyard shift was short a man, so I volunteered to work a Double. I had been lusting after a pair of Wesco Engineer boots, but couldn’t afford the high price. I figured that the extra shift would go a long way toward making them affordable. As the night wore on, I somehow convinced myself that the money I was making for working the extra shift would cover the cost of the boots. Of course, by 4:00 AM I was so tired that I was falling asleep standing up, so my mathematical abilities weren’t too good, but I knew that I could afford the boots. So, a couple of days later, I sent Wesco a check and my order form. The next week, when I got my paycheck, I realized that I hadn’t earned half as much as my semi-delirious mind had figured. I had a tough month, but I survived. And I wore those boots until my ankle got crushed in 1997. Buying the Ear Cannon isn’t going to cause nearly as much hardship as buying those boots did. And just maybe it’ll wake up a few oblivious drivers. (Message edited by Crusty on September 23, 2016) | ||
| Pwnzor |
Thanks for getting us back on track here Crusty! Good snippet. | ||
| 86129squids |
A little late, but Happy Bday to ya John! Glad to hear you had a good day. I enjoyed my last day of vacay yesterday with a fine dining meal out with my honey- the place we went to wants to hire me, so I'm exercising a bit of due diligence before I change employers... wish me luck. As far as self-purchased gifts go, that Stebel horn is definitely one of the best choices! Of course you probably already know, but be careful to position the bell of the horn where (a) it projects sound best and (b) it is best protected from weather, bugs, and road grime. Once you wire that thing up with a relay, easy peasy, you'll be ready to wake up any cager douche canoe that comes along! | ||
| Crusty |
A Medium Rare Mood I’m not in a good mood. I’m not in a real bad mood, either; my mood is closer to bad than good. A rare mood is a bad mood. Rare is not in the sense of infrequent, it in the sense of raw like a rare steak. So I’m edgy but not pissed off. It won’t take much to piss me off, though. I think it’s because of the headache. I’ve had this dull headache off and on all week. Every time I say, “Hey! it’s gone!”, it’s back within a short period of time (like within 20 minutes). It’s annoying, but it’s a whole lot better than a Migraine. Yesterday, I spent about half an hour oscillating between telling God that he’s an ••••••• for not helping me out and laughing at myself when I pointed out all the good things that have come to me. I really have had a very fortunate life. Sometimes, though it just seems like I can’t get a break. Then again, I can see a sh*tload of breaks that I’ve gotten when I look back at my life. I guess I’m just feeling ambivalent. I sometimes talk to God when I’m riding my bike. Riding is how I meditate. Nothing puts me in the Zone like cruising about 10 to 15 MPH over the speed limit on a nicely paved road through the hills. I don’t have to concentrate as much as when I was racing, but I don’t have time to worry about stupid sh*t like Hillary, Trump, BLM, Kim Jong Un or if an asteroid is going to hit the earth and destroy all of us. I can just flow with the road. Maybe that’s what I should do today. The weather has cooled to Seasonal temperatures. The high is supposed to be 68º F (20º C). That feel nippy when you’re used to high 80s and low 90s. Next April, it will feel delightfully warm, but now it feels cold. It’s going to get colder, though and quicker than I’d like. Maybe I should take a ride to get a tasty lunch somewhere. Or maybe I should just wing it and go that way and see if I can get lost for a while. I’ve found some really neat things by doing that over the years. I could ride up to Rockport and get a piece of Strudel and a cup of coffee; or maybe I should ride over to Bennington, Vermont and have lunch at the Blue Benn; or possibly go down to the Vanilla Bean in Pomfret, Connecticut. I remember that really good Poutine I had in Laconia, NH a few years ago; that might be a nice ride, or the Hitching Post Cafe in New Lebanon, New York for a burger. Screw it. I’m going for a ride. We’ll see where my mood and the roads lead me. | ||
| 86129squids |
I just got my latest issue of MCN in the mail a couple of days ago- they have a GREAT story about a guy, Tom Larson, who envisioned and created Motorcycle Relief Project, a 501(c)3 organization that provides relief for veterans suffering from PTSD and depression by taking them on some great rides out in the Colorado mountains. I'll post up again in a new thread, very very cool idea. Reminds me of one of the primary reasons I myself and all of us ride- to get back to "the flow", back to the purity of kinetics, time and a clear mind. Enjoy the ride, sir. I'm hoping to do a Cherohala/Deals Gap loop soon... | ||
| Tootal |
A belated birthday wish John. I just got back from a trip and am worn out. So now it's your turn!  | ||
| Crusty |
Keene, Gloves and Shocks There’s a big motorcycle Swap Meet at the Cheshire Fairgrounds in Keene, New Hampshire twice a year in May and September. I used to go all the time, and I’ve scored some neat stuff there over the years, but, for one reason or another, I haven’t gone in a long time. It’s usually pretty crowded with both vendors and customers. I need a new pair of winter gloves and I figured that I’d find what I was looking for there, so I rode up yesterday and arrived about 1:30 in the afternoon. I paid my eight bucks to get in and rode to the parking area. It looked pretty thin, bike wise; I figured that a lot of people must have come earlier, then left. That made it easier to find a good parking space and I parked up close to the vendors. I started walking around looking at all the parts, just checking things out. At one guy’s blanket, I was looking at shocks and thinking that the Iron Motor needs a pair. The guy saw me looking and said, “Those are Sportster shocks” I just asked, “How much?”, and he said, “Ten bucks if you take them now.” So I bought a pair of shocks for the Iron Motor. I had no intention of buying anything other than a pair of gloves; it’s a five week month and I’m pretty broke, but when he told me “Ten Bucks”, I was powerless to resist the deal. I have no idea how I’ll get them to Australia, but I’ll figure out something and if I don’t, it’s only ten bucks. I spend that much getting a Combination C-15 dinner from the Peking Garden. So I walked around the rest of the Swap Meet with a shock in each hand. That stopped me from possibly getting anything else, like that older style front fender for the Roadster. I saw a few notable bikes for sale; a 1999 Buell S3-T that was in rough shape, cosmetically. It had $3500 on a tag, but I think it would be worth about half that. The front fender was cracked and very sloppily patched and the rest of the bodywork was scratched and scarred. It had the race air filter and no Lowers, which, to me is a minus. Still, it was an S3-T and I have a soft spot in my heart for them I also saw a Norton Electra in very rough shape. It was a true Swap Meet special. Lots of missing parts and the parts that were there were all rusted and corroded and covered with decades old grease and grime. The owner tried to sell me a BSA in the same shape as the Norton. I didn’t tell him that in my book BSA stands for Bastard Stopped Again. I just said, “No, thanks" and kept on walking. I saw an old 305 Honda and a 250cc H-D Sprint, a bunch of European and Japanese bikes, along with a lot of much newer Harleys for sale. I looked for a front end for the Iron Motor, but I didn’t see a single set. There were only two vendors who had winter gloves, and neither had the gloves I was looking for. One had a pair that I almost bought, but he wanted $35.00. I saw those same gloves on Amazon for $16.99, so I gave them a miss. If they had been exactly the gloves I was looking for, I would have bought them in a heartbeat, but there were too many compromises for that price. So I didn’t find the gloves that I wanted, but I did buy a pair of shocks for a bike I won’t get to see again for who knows how long. Aside from not finding the gloves I wanted, I was pretty disappointed in the Swap Meet. There weren’t nearly as many vendors as I expected, nor were there nearly as many bikers who showed up. Maybe it’s because the temperatures dropped to seasonal this weekend, or maybe the new wave of Butt Jewelry owners isn’t interested in getting their hands dirty customizing their bikes. They’d rather pay big bucks to get the latest piece of “In” accessory and paying even more to have a Customizer install it. That’s after discussing it with the Chrome Consultant at the Dealership. I don’t know; I guess I’m just Old School. But it’s interesting how many people are taken with the Roadster after the changes I’ve made. And I have yet to discuss my bike with a Chrome Consultant. | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
There is a couple of swap meets near Columbus every year. Walnecks in Springfield and then there is one in Delaware. It was always a good excuse to get up have breakfast, walk around and look at bike parts. 10 years ago it was shoulder to shoulder... now hardly anyone goes. | ||
| Court |
Crusty: Shoot me an e-mail with what you're looking for in winter gloves. I THINK I have a set of Widder electrics in perfect shape. They are your's if they'll fit the bill. Court | ||
| Crusty |
Court; Thanks for the offer. However, I have a set of Gerbings gloves for the really cold weather. I'm looking for a set of gloves like the pair my Dad got me back in 1992. They aren't the warmest winter gloves I've had, but they're super comfortable, they've lasted for 24 years and they're still my "Go to" gloves for most cold weather riding. If we should happen to meet during the colder months, I'll show you my pair unless it's really cold; then I'll probably be wearing the electrics. | ||
| Crusty |
Overcast; Inside and Out Ever spend a Fall in New England? The weather could cause Saint Francis of Assisi to start swearing. ( Personally, my Patron Saint is St. Francis of a See-Saw. He’s the Patron Saint of Ups and Downs) To get back to what I was trying to say before I so rudely interrupted myself; today, the weather sucked. It was overcast and cold with showers. There was a bit of wind and it cut right through you. Riding was not fun. I think this weather either brings out the worst in drivers or it brings out the worst drivers. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s both. I ran a couple of errands; I had to pick up my Furosemide (It makes me pee a lot), and, since I was at Target, I bought a sweat shirt and a couple of pairs of sweat pants. When I got home, My Ear Cannon was waiting for me. However, I didn’t feel like going outside to put it on the bike. The temperature never got out of the 50s today; I’ll wait until it warms up a bit. I also bought a jet and needle kit for my carb a couple of weeks ago, but I haven had the ambition to put them in. I think it’s supposed to get back up to 70 in a couple of days. I’ll do both then. Maybe. I have an attitude that matches the weather. I feel like, Life’s a Bitch and then You Marry One. Or somethin’. I’m flat freakin’ broke, and I keep thinking about what would be a good Christmas present for various people. I’ve come up with a few good ideas; the problem is that they all cost more than I can afford to spend. A good friend of mine is having a birthday this week, and I want to get a good gift. She’s a Patriots fan, so I figured I’d see if I could get her a ticket to a game in Foxboro. The only ticket I could find was $301.00. Well, that ain’t even remotely possible. I guess I’ll just have to settle on a gift certificate to Mc Donald’s. I won’t be doing anything expensive for Christmas, either. I was in a similar situation years ago. I was flat broke and I determined that all I could afford to spend was about $5.00 per person. (Five bucks was worth a bit more then, but it still wasn’t much). I really had to work at it, but I came up with some pretty good gifts. I guess I’m in the same boat again. Well; maybe I’ll hit the Lottery for a chunk of change. I just have to remember to buy a ticket. Hey; I might win. (And monkeys might fly out of my butt.) Well, It’s cold and raw and crappy outside. I’m warm and raw and crappy inside. Things will get better tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Or... | ||
| 86129squids |
I'm with ya man. Been getting a lot of crap news, bills, poor pay, new flavors of $hit on the buffet. Still making dinner. Had the first batch of homemade chili today, with cheesy jalapeno cornbread, box mix. (My sweetie made it actually)... the cornbread itself was a bit sweet, which I veer away from, but- DANG if it didn't pop with the chili! You're definitely gonna have better days coming. "Time and Perseverance are The Greatest Warriors." Tolstoy | ||
| Zac4mac |
I'm with you on the funk, John. Been feeling it for a few days, so yesterday I went to the County Clerk and got valid stickers for my plates. All the bikes had expired plates... rode both the old and new RS' yesterday and feel MUCH better now.  Z | ||
| Crusty |
The weather today sucks even worse than yesterday. It's a few degrees colder and the rain is heavier. But I saw a few bikes out there. Three H-D Big Twins and a Honda Nighthawk. All four riders waved. When the weather is crappy, almost everybody out on a bike waves. | ||
| Pwnzor |
Well I had beautiful weather all day. Left the house with the top down at 0730 and got back home at 1930, then put the top back up. I ran into These Guys on the tail end of their 7 week rally around the USA in their Classic Cars A very cool bunch of guys with wayyy too much money. I spied this guy at TWoS when I stopped for breakfast:  Spotted this fine looking vehicle perched on the access ramp to one of the dams:  No parking at the Dragon Store... had to pull off across the street  Walked over to find this guy sitting here, and then learned quite a bit about this Pan American Rally.  Anyway, that's what I did today... oh yeah, and I stopped at Jim's Smokin' BBQ in Blairsville for dinner. Full rack with 2 sides... half of it came home with me, and will become breakfast! | ||
| Tootal |
Wow, that pic of the Yamaha brought back memories! My brother had an 82 750 Seca for eons. Sold it a couple of years ago to a friend so I gave up my YICS shut off tool for syncing the carbs. Probably one of the toughest engines ever built! I had the Maxim model and that thing would get 60 mpg! The YICS, Yamaha Induction Control System, swirled the intake mixture just like Erik does on the EBR's only in a different way. Makes it really efficient. Looks like a great day!  | ||
| 86129squids |
IIRC, that was a Seca 550. My best buddy had THE COOLEST parents, both were riders. I'm pretty sure a '78 GS1000S, Wes Cooley edition, is still in their hands. My best bud let me ride his mom's Seca 550, after I had just got off my TS125... somehow I didn't wad it up in the dead-end. I learned then what a good throttle hand can do. | ||
| 86129squids |
DANG man, you didn't call me! Locals call it, and are called, Chilhowee Lake Trash. You gotta do it right. | ||
| Crusty |
Oxy - Moron Commercial Hi friends, I’m Crusty and I’m going to present you with my Dilemma of the Week! Last week, Jim (Damnut) posted about an EBR 1190 SX that he’s bought. He got it from a dealer in (I think) Charlotte, NC, and he basically stole it. They sold it to him for $7,000.00, and he got it for 0 down and 2.59% financing. They’ve got one or two more. I’m thinking that I should jump at a deal like that. While I’m pretty sure that EBR’s going to either come up with a “Sport-Touring” model, or offer the accessories to build my own; I have no evidence and it might just be “all in me head”. Still; if EBR offers the accessories to “Build my own”. I could wind up with a sweet bike for very short money. I mean; I used a loan interest calculator online and the payments would be $200.00 / month on a three year loan. That’s wonderfully do-able. But Wait! There’s more! I’m on the e-mail list of a Realtor who specializes in low priced property. Typically it’s places that the roof is about to fall in, or the windows are covered with plywood and such; usually they’re located in some pretty rough neighborhoods. Last week, I got a listing for a 6 room house with a garage. For kicks, I did a drive by and it got my attention. It’s been sitting for long enough that the yard is a real mess, but it otherwise looks pretty good. It’s in a neighborhood where all the other houses look well cared for and it’s quiet. It’s at the top of what I think I can get a mortgage for, and if I do go for it, I won’t be doing any tramping for a couple of years, at least. Still; I would have my own house and garage. That really calls to me. Hell; if I just buy it and straighten out the yard and fix the little things in the house, I could probably flip it and turn a profit. But that would take time and effort and tie me down for a while whether I keep it and live in it (Probably), or get it sorted out and put it back on the market. I’m very tempted to call the Realtor and get a little more information. Now how much would you pay? Then there’s my original plan; which is to keep a low profile, get the credit card paid down ASAP and hopefully ride to the Arctic Circle next Spring/Summer. If I get the SX and fix it up, then sell the Roadster, I can still do it. If I get the SX and don’t sell the Roadster, I can’t afford to. And if I buy the house; well, I’ll still have the Roadster, but my ass will be parked for a while. All three options have their appeal. I think it’s time to fall back on the old adage, When you don’t know what to do, do nothing until the right thing becomes clear. Then again, this might be a case of If you snooze, you lose. I suppose I should focus on just doing the Next Right Thing and I will; just as soon as I figure out which is the Next Right Thing to do. |
