| Author | Message | ||
     86129squids |
OK- whoops, mea culpa, please allow me to re-animate a VERY good thread, as I am to blame for the demise of its previous iteration. No gerbils shall be harmed in the continuation of this thread, real or imaginary.  Please continue, friends! | ||
| Sifo |
A gerbil walks into a bar... | ||
| 86129squids |
There was an old hooker named Chariff, who let out a monstrous queef, with the grace of a swan, she said to her John, “Does anyone else smell roast beef?” | ||
| Fahren |
A gerbil walks into a bar... for that to happen, the bar would have to be set very low. | ||
| Guell |
for that to happen, the bar would have to be set very low. it pretty much was in the other thread  | ||
| Froggy |
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| Fahren |
This dyslexic guy walks into a bra... | ||
| Etennuly |
Why would you rapidly and violently rip the duct tape off from your gerbil? So the pain will help him forget why he didn't explode.   | ||
| Guell |
well this thread is done lol | ||
| Whatever |
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| 86129squids |
OMG VERN DID IT THIS TIME!!!  Love ya man!!! A bear and a bunny are sitting in a forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?" The bunny says "No". So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his @ss. | ||
| Brumbear |
What do 30,000 battered wife's have in common? They don't ###### listen | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Two peanuts walking down the street in a bad neighbourhood, One turns to the other & says "you know the last time I came through here I was assaulted" | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
This is still the best one I've heard lately & is worth a repost. I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us. She did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making love, I thought, "Man, These Taser guns are well worth the money" | ||
| Xdigitalx |
Why did the mexican throw his wife off the cliff??? ----------------------------------------------- teqkilla!!!  How come lesbians can't hold onto a job??? ----------------------------------------------- Because they don't do *ICK! | ||
| Fahren |
How many men does it take to open a beer can? . . . . . . . None. It should be open by the time she brings it to the couch. | ||
| Moxnix |
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." | ||
| Moxnix |
A man outside a bar dropped his Scrabble game. I asked him "What's the word on the Street?" Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. | ||
| Brumbear |
teacher is having a class on Weather vains so she asks class the class does anyone know what a weather vain is? only foul mouthed lil johnny raises his hand not wanting to ask him she asks again same response OK Johnny what is it? a wind directional device teach pleased she asks Does anybody know what animal is on a weather vain? again only Johnny? OK Johnny which animal "hear it comes she thinks"? A cok teach Thats it she says yeah says Johnny"WOW she thinks this is great Johnny has turned the corner. Well class does anybody know why they use a cok on a weather vain? again Johnny is the only raised hand OK Johnny why? That's easy teach if ya put a cun on it the wind blow right though it fock the whole thing up  | ||
| Midknyte |
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows yet... | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Did you hear about the 2 blondes that took up hunting? They were following some tracks through a forest & got run down by a train! | ||
| Jramsey |
Mother's Driver's License A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. Mommy , the little girl asks, how old are you? Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, the mother replied. It's not polite. OK', the little girl says, How much do you weigh? Now really, the mother says, those are personal questions and are really none of your business. Undaunted, the little girl asks, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce? That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly! The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. My Mom won't tell me anything about her, the little girl says to her friend. Well, says the friend, all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it. Later that night the little girl says to her mother, I know how old you are. You are 32. The mother is surprised and asks, How did you find that out? I also know that you weigh 130 pounds. The mother is past surprised and shocked now. How in Heaven's name did you find that out? And, the little girl says triumphantly, I know why you and daddy got a divorce. Oh really? the mother asks. Why? Because you got an F in sex. | ||
| Daddio |
A penguin is driving across the desert, when suddenly his car begins to overheat. Luckily for him, there is a small town with a service station just ahead. He coasts into the service station, where the mechanic immediately starts looking at the problem. The penguin, not accustomed to the heat, asks the mechanic where he can go to cool off. The mechanic tells him that they sell ice cream bars out of a freezer in the front of the shop. The penguin grabs a few vanilla ice cream bars and eats them quickly, making a mess on his bill and down his front. Just then, the mechanic comes in from the garage, and tells the penguin, "Looks like you blew a seal." to which the penguin replies, "It's ice cream, I swear!" | ||
| Aeholton |
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| Sifo |
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| Mr_grumpy |
Sifo, you posted that just for the halibut. | ||
| Jramsey |
Dougie... Doug works hard at the office, but spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Doug! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Doug. "He's in my bowling league." When they are seated, a waitress asks Doug if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" Doug replies, "I recognize her: she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Doug, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Dougie! Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Doug's wife, now furious, grabs her handbag and storms out of the club. Doug follows and spots her getting into a taxi. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Doug tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four-letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Doug, You picked up a real bitch this time." | ||
| Cyclonedon |
I think Doug is in some big trouble this time! lol | ||
| Bishopjb1124 |
Little boy has diarrhea and says to his mom "I need some Viagra". Mom says "why"? Little boy says "isn't that what you give dad when his shit won't get hard?" | ||
| Brumbear |
thats a keeper Bishop!!!!!!!!! Why do Blonde chicks have blacknblue bellybuttons? Blonde guys aint to bright either |
