| Author | Message | ||
     Danger_dave |
....that invented the toothbrush? Otherwise it would have been called a 'teethbrush' | ||
| Moxnix |
What do you call 32 Detroit fans? A full set of teeth. Nothing against Detroit, or their fans, just a chance to modify an old joke. | ||
| Danger_dave |
What's got 32 legs and sixteen teeth? The front row at a Bluegrass concert | ||
| Etennuly |
So Dave.....you have visited Tennessee and Kentucky!  | ||
| Kyrocket |
http://www.poppymountainbluegrass.com/ I went there once and everyone was staring at me funny, I thought maybe my fly was open or something. I said something to my friend and he said they were just jealous because I had all my teeth. | ||
| Crusty |
The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska .. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Chicago Bears fan wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Go Bears’ hat and a “Bears rule” shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about, and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Packer fans wearing Packer shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug right into the bear's chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Bear fan from the bear's grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three Packer fans finished off the grizzly. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other placed the injured Bear fan in the back seat. As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of the men over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between Packer fans and Bears fans, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, one Packer fan asked his buddies, "Who the heck was that guy?" "Dude, that was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom." "Well," the Packer fan said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Illinois and get another one?" (Personal note: I am not a football fan, nor very religious) | ||
| Whisperstealth |
Very good Crusty! Duh Bears........ | ||
| Buellriderx |
Not about football but funny nonetheless Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear America , You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." Just saying... Sincerely, Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985 Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin Dear Customers, Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ended there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans Dear White People, Don't you just hate immigrants? Sincerely, Native Americans Dear iPhone, Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User | ||
| Danger_dave |
I had a girlfriend in Arkansas...till she wrote me a John Deere letter. | ||
| Swampy |
My God! Where did that come from? Monday and Tuesday I have been riding around downtown Detroit during the Tiger Playoffs with a couple of BIG Black Detroit Police Officers bringing to task rogue bus and limousine operators. I have never felt so comfortable in my entire life. What a beautiful downtown, what an ugly perimeter. Notice the nice stripper pole?...(I did not touch it)   I can't wait to get down town to do some off duty partying... | ||
| Danger_dave |
joke noun a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, esp. a story with a funny punchline : she was in a mood to tell jokes. • a trick played on someone for fun. • [in sing. ] informal a person or thing that is ridiculously inadequate : the transportation system is a joke. verb [ intrans. ] make jokes; talk humorously or flippantly : she could laugh and joke with her colleagues | [with direct speech ] “It's OK, we're not related,” she joked. • [ trans. ] archaic poke fun at : he was pretending to joke his daughter. PHRASES be no joke informal be a serious matter or difficult undertaking : trying to shop with three children in tow is no joke. can (or can't) take a joke be able (or unable) to receive humorous remarks or tricks in the spirit in which they are intended : if you can't take a joke, you should never have joined. the joke is on someone informal someone looks foolish, esp. after trying to make someone else look so. make a joke of laugh or be humorous about (something that is not funny in itself). DERIVATIVES jokey (also joky) adjective jokily |-kəlē| adverb jokiness noun jokingly adverb ORIGIN late 17th cent. (originally slang): perhaps from Latin jocus ‘jest, wordplay.’ Meant for Mr Badlionsfan. (Message edited by danger_dave on October 06, 2011) | ||
| Kenm123t |
Danger Dave I have had several English Employees in the past. My Question is When did the brits outlaw Dentistry? With the exception of Simon Cowell I have never met an Englishman with all his front teeth Damn get the implants if you dont want dentures. | ||
| Danger_dave |
I dunno - you'd have to ask an Englishman. All us Aussies are perfect. | ||
| Badlionsfan |
Why did my good name get pulled into this?? | ||
| Danger_dave |
4-0 | ||
| Badlionsfan |
factually correct. | ||
| Danger_dave |
See you on Thanksgiving you say? | ||
| Badlionsfan |
I'd love it if both the Pack and Lions were unbeaten on Turkey day, and looking at the schedules it's entirely possible. They play in GB on the last day of the season too. First things first tho, Bears this Monday night. Cutler might wanna make sure his will is current, those turnstiles pretending to be O-linemen could get him killed. It's been funny to be a Lions fan for most of my life, now it's fun. | ||
| Danger_dave |
They need another Fridge. | ||
| Badlionsfan |
If someone tells you their football team is 5-0 and the don't have a fake chuck of cheese on their head, they're a Detroit fan. | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
are you doing the happy dance yet? | ||
| Badlionsfan |
Nope, they've won five games in a season before and so far that's all they've accomplished. Happy, yes. Dance, not yet. |
