| Author | Message | ||
     Anonymous |
my father has had significant health issues my entire life. naturally, as he ages, things only get worse. the most recent issues involve an inability to pass urine requiring trips to the e.r. to get him catheterized. today i learned how to catheterize my dad. it sucked. it sucked because i had to inflict pain. it sucked because its one more shred of dignity that he lost. it would have sucked if it was a stranger, but it was my dad, so it really, really sucked. look after your health. my dad's issues were precipitated after he neglected his health many many years ago. do not get yourselves in a position where your loved ones and yourselves will be forced down such unpleasantness. we all ride bikes. that's why we're here. just mitigate your risks. eat better. exercise. when looking in the frige or at a menu or the shelves at the supermarket, picture everyone you care about - then make a choice. i guarantee it's easier to eat well with those pictures in your head. leaving the doctor's office, i was pushing the wheelchair with my mom at my side. i had a load of emotion welling up. it was tough to not cry. i'm the one that's supposed to be strong so i kept a cork in it. be strong for mom & dad & siblings. cork pulled. sorry to dump. | ||
| 01x1buell |
i am sorry to here that and i wish the best for your father and your whole family. | ||
| Iman501 |
thats hard!, sorry to hear that, great thing about our forums is we'll all support you even though we dont know you! | ||
| 86129squids |
"cork pulled. sorry to dump." No dump at all. Lotsa "dumping" on threads here sometime, this is not one of them- it's called sharing or venting, which is fine. What you've done is good, therapeutic, and positive in posting this- what you're doing for your Dad and Mom is only what a good son would do. Good on ya. Thanks for sharing. | ||
| Court |
My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my Dad in 2000. Your Dad is fortunate to have you and your love. Dump away.......we are with you all the way.. | ||
| Moxnix |
Dump away. I've a son with a syndrome who brings me joy every day, though his requirements are many. | ||
| Pwnzor |
I had to take my dad off life support in 2003 on Christmas eve. He was healthy until he got some crazy blood infection... 24 hours later he was gone. Enjoy every moment, no matter how gross or degrading, your dad is lucky to have someone like you who is willing to do those things. | ||
| Brumbear |
Keep on being who you are you are a credit to our race. | ||
| Ratbuell |
Feel free to dump. you are the strong one - you're there, and you're doing what needs to be done. and you feel bad because you're human - and you're a GOOD human. once the bad passes...the good will take over. you know you're doing the right thing, and in the end that is the feeling that will stay with you. best of luck to you, your family, and your father. he's in good hands. | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
its tough to become the caregiver to the ones that used to do it for us. You will be thankful you where there in his time of need.... | ||
| Etennuly |
Bless you for what you have to do. But for your father and mother you would not have a life. As humbling, gross, and tough to face as this might be, it can break you and your loved one down to the basic being. You can look at it with pride that a stranger no longer has to do it, for his sake. You will be doing that for him in a caring way and perhaps find a way that it does not hurt him. Look for a doctor who will set you up with some Lidocaine(sp) 3% jell to use as a lube. Apply some, wait a few minutes and go for it. It can really help him. I was fortunate enough to spend some real time with my dad. He used to joke with me about getting back at me for my diapers thirty some years earlier. We all worked together to make it the best time we could. | ||
| Cyclonedon |
sorry to hear about your dad's problems, stay positive and do the best you can to help him live out his life. I know you'll be glad you did someday when he's gone. I've lost both of my parents and miss them dearly every day. | ||
| Anonymous |
thanks for the supportive words. really did help me in a tough moment. gross doesn't matter so much. watching my dad writhe in pain & discomfort does - at my hand. this is a guy that has dealt with so much pain without a peep. in their 50+ years of marriage, my mom never had to walk out of a room for not being able to tolerate his distress. in my bit of frustration and my own distress, i neglected to mention what an amazing guy my dad's been. he was a business giant and literally dined with heads of state. once he got sick, his abilities to make judgement calls was severely affected. how quickly things can change. the light grows dimmer in his eyes every time i see him. to go from an intellectual giant to a near invalid is quite a trip. unfortunately, while i call him "dad", he's like a child. i love him as much as any son can love his dad. Vern, the lidocaine is right along the lines i was thinking. thanks for the validation. thanks again for the support everyone. it's hard to type with tears in my eyes. i can only hope that one day i'm half as loved as my dad and that hopefully i don't pose an undue burden on those who love me. | ||
| Denisea |
So very sorry for you, your father and your family. Pain is a bitch. You are much stronger than you think and strength comes to those who ask. Denise | ||
| Ulyranger |
Sounds like your father is a very fortunate man to have lived a full life, a loving family and a son doing his duty to assist in a time of need. My father passed on in 2009 after an almost 5 year battle with cancer. I made a huge change in my family's life to move closer so that I was in a position be there for him. It is/was heart rending to see someone you look up to, who is your personal hero to slowly wind down. It is two years this month and it is still tough sometimes. The silver lining is looking back at the good times, he lived a very full life for 81 years and I would not be half the man I am today without his guidance and love. Chin up, you are doing a good thing. | ||
| Oldog |
Sorry to hear this, lost my dad years ago, he's lucky to have such a child good on you | ||
| Fuzzz |
I wish I had been plugged in to Bad Web in 94 when I had to take my Dad from the hospital to die at home. We all need to vent, and reach out for support. Hang in there! | ||
| Preybird1 |
My girl friends dad is dying right now because he wouldn't stop drinking and living homeless in a trailer for 30+ years. Now my girlfriend is having to take care of him. And i hate to see him going downhill so fast......He has turned yellow and his liver is not cleaning the ammonia out of his blood and it is making his body and brain toxic and he can't even hold a conversation and his speech is slurred to the point he sounds drunk. He was just diagnosed with hepatitis c and were waiting on a bunch more blood tests. He is on Medicaid and social security and has no home no job and only his daughter is alive. His wife died on the operating table after an implanted heart valve was put in and they could not get the heart started again. I feel your pain my dad just survived a 5 artery heart bypass. I have had to take care of him more than once. One time he never left the couch for 2 yrs he couldn't walk because of a bacterial infection in his legs. Stay strong and tell dad you love him. | ||
| Ourdee |
+1 on the lidocaine. I used lidocaine viscous. You are a good egg. Vent away. | ||
| Luftkoph |
You sir are an outstanding son |
