| Author | Message | ||
     Mtjm2 |
Colonoscopy everyone, please ! to all of my BUELL Brethran , get one at 50 . Never would I think to talk about this . Got an issue close to home , and made me think. You are all great people ,UHM ? . Please take care of your body like you do your bike . | ||
| 01x1buell |
well that is good info,, but i am only 24 so now i think i a m good on that | ||
| Cowboy |
hey dont sweat it man I had 25% of my colon removed 21/2 years a go . I am a better man now than I was 10 yrs a go. I do any thing I want to and eat any thing I want to. It is a breeze. | ||
| Strokizator |
Nah, I'll take my chances. I worth more dead than alive anyway. | ||
| Just_ziptab |
Cake walk here.........if you didn't know what you was going in for,you wouldn't know what had happened.....other than the day before prep. | ||
| Hughlysses |
+1 on what Ziptab said. They give you GOOD drugs! | ||
| Slaughter |
Y'all be absolutely right. It MUST be done - and it's what Hugh said - good drugs make it all OK. Heck, I remember the IV starting and then waking up in recovery. The jokes didn't start until I got home. | ||
| Swampy |
I got one a couple of months ago, they found a couple of polyps and took them out, didn't hurt, I was really looking forward to two days of vast wasteland from the drugs, I was sorely dissapointed, they must have changed the formula from the last time I did it because I was good to go by the late afternoon on the first day. I wasted two days of sick leave for nothing! Only took up 3 hours of time, walking in and walking out. And the prep, just think of it as a fresh start! | ||
| Brumbear |
yep 1246 days till VIOLATION!!!!!!! but I will do it happily(never thought I'd say that) | ||
| J2blue |
The drugs they use are very similar to the "date rape" drugs. Interesting choice. Be sure and ask for a copy of the pictures to put in your family photo album! | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
if we went camping... and you woke up with sore butt.... would ya tell anyone? Mr. Gainer..... please count backwards from ten... 10.... 9..... 8....  .... what the hell happened?  .... hey Doc?? Whats with that look you are giving me?? the day before is the hardest part fo sho Do this just for fun.... weight yourself before and after don't man up and use TP... go straight for the baby wipes... trust me on that little bit of advice... you can/will thank me later | ||
| Toona |
I had one when I turned 40. My personal health history deemed it as a priority. All clean! (in more ways than one...) | ||
| Mtjm2 |
Ive got 5 months to go , but my mother never had one . Took out a baseball sized tumor , and has spread to her liver . My sisters are getting in line for theirs . | ||
| Orman1649 |
Colonoscopy Journal I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring, and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking to me, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!' I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. On the humor of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but the following lines are quite humorous. A physician claimed that they are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.' 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!' 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 12. 'God! Now I know why I am not gay.' And the best one of all: 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?' | ||
| Etennuly |
Mark, uh.....isn't that what happens when you and Gary share a tent, a gallon of peanut oil and the twister game?   Don't you hate it when the Dr walks in the room and says "smell my finger"?  | ||
| Mtjm2 |
 They say the prep is the hard part ? | ||
| Richardbiker |
Steve, That is some funny s**t!!  | ||
| Mtjm2 |
Just got the call . its CANCER , so please get yourselves checked so you dont have to go thru this . Thanks to all of the BWB | ||
| Slaughter |
They didn't do a biopsy and are calling it cancer? I'd get another doctor NOW! Let us know. Dang | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
keep us in the loop..... you are definitely in our thoughts | ||
| Swampy |
Usually when they find a suspect area, they remove it, sometimes it is benign, some times it is cancer, but it is gone. As long as they got it all when it is in the colon. Now with a cancer diagnosis, you have to go in every 6 months and have a colonoscopy. Just give them a story about how you remember alot of the last time and they will up the dosage. I remember now vaguely.....I originaly had a rectal polyp, it was on this long stalk and it would present it's ugly head every once in awhile, then it would claw it's way back in causing excruciating pain until it went back in place...morphine would not fix the pain, the ER doc could not get his finger in to check what was causing the problem and they kept asking me if I put something up there...LOL...I'm thinking Ryan Dunn on Jackass, putting a Matchbox car up his rectum and going into ER for an xray. Anyways, I hooked up with a GENERAL surgeon(mistake-get a specialist) to do the removal during one of the periods that they could get a finger up there and feel what was going on....OUCH! The butcher did the surgery and I had a VERY painful two+ week recovery, Oh yeah, I had a second surgery to fix a thrombose hemorroid on the second day after surgery, obvously from the dump truck and trailer that the butcher used to transport the backhoe up my rectum to remove the original polyp. During the recovery I had this little string that presented itself one day and when it got in the way when you washed I would let out a howl like Steam Boat Willy pulling the steam boat horn. So what I told them before my first colonoscopy was that I had just had a very painful recovery from the rectal polyp removal and they said they had to use the baby scope and give me lots of medicine because I was complaining of pain. But like I said the last one is a breeze they even removed a couple of rectal polyp buds(painless!) and I am looking forward to having the next one in a couple of years. Lets hope they got all the cancer when they removed your polyp, and that subsequent screenings come up negative! | ||
| Mtjm2 |
Biopsy said cancer , they got the tumor out . Waiting for some more results to come back . than a treatment plan if any . Have a safe weekend all , mark | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
hey dont sweat it man I had 25% of my colon removed 21/2 years a go . I am a better man now than I was 10 yrs a go. Is that because you're only 3/4 an arsehole now? Just kidding, I can't resist a bad gag. | ||
| Blake |
What symptoms caused you to finally visit the doc? | ||
| Slaughter |
Blake - do NOT WAIT FOR SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS!!! | ||
| Toona |
do NOT WAIT FOR SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS!!! DITTO! | ||
| U4euh |
Father went through it back 2003. Part of colon removed, but the hardest part for him was recovery. Part of the colon being removed really decreases the time from " hey I gotta go" to "I need to change my drawers". The hospital in St. Louis was absolutley proffesional and took great care of Pops | ||
| Blake |
Thanks Steve. Good advice I'm sure. I don't have any symptoms. | ||
| Mtjm2 |
Moms home . Sawbones said they got it all but want to do chemo just in case . Shes 77yrs young , and doing incredibly well . As far as waiting for symptoms , DONT . She had nun until it was to late . Thank goodness she didnt need a bag . | ||
| Blake |
Just ran across the following for skin cancer. Very informative. Well worth taking time to scan all the photos and commentary for each. Is It Skin Cancer? |
