| Author | Message | ||
     M2statz |
Would You Marry Again A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question.... WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do.." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? " HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.." WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new.." WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?" HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you? HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times." WIFE: "Would she use my clubs? HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." WIFE: -- silence -- HUSBAND: "shit." | ||
| Ourdee |
A lefty  My wife started that line of questioning and I quickly said I would marry a hispanic girl. She said she wasn't going to remarry. I didn't want to know why, So, I didn't ask and changed the topic. How she spends the insurance money is none of my concern when I'm gone. On a side note: I'm the best husband she has ever had. Of course the competition has been weak.  | ||
| Strokizator |
A husband and wife are sitting quietly on the couch when the husband looks at here and says "What?" The wife says "I didn't say anything. I was thinking something but I didn't say anything. OMG, we've been married so long that we can hear each others thoughts! So tell me, what was I thinking?" The husband replies "Shit, I don't know. I wasn't listening." | ||
| Etennuly |
My wife asked me this question once. My answer was "No, honey, I will never marry again". She asked "Why?" I replied "Because you have absolutely destroyed any illusion that I may have had that marriage was a good idea!" I doubt she will ever ask that question publicly at a family gathering again. | ||
| Ratbuell |
Ooohhh...can I use that quote? | ||
| Blake |
Blaming the wife? Yeah, cause us husbands are nothing but pure joy to live with! Disrespecting a spouse especially in public makes for REALLY bad mojo. My 26 years of marital experience has taught me at least that we get no better than we are willing to give. | ||
| Teeps |
Huh? | ||
| Court |
>>>>Disrespecting a spouse especially in public makes for REALLY bad mojo. You can bet your ass I won't be doing that.  | ||
| Swampy |
OMG the woman I married is the Mother Teresa of women, she recently asked the Little Kid(my son, not hers) to move back in, demanded I buy him a wall mounted 32 inch game screen, and a high def cable box for his bedroom. Then she asked him what he wanted for his 21st birthday, a big bash for his friends or just the cash? I'm on the brink of having to go into work next week and tell the boss lady that our entire unit should be outsourced and she is telling me it is going to be fun. Hell Yeah! light my ass on fire, I would marry her again. Call me stupid but I would be stupid not to. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
this is along the lines of 'when did you stop beating your dog' you aint winning nomatter what you answer, block, bunt, avoid, how about some strawberries and champagne? | ||
| Sayitaintso |
this is along the lines of 'when did you stop beating your dog' you aint winning nomatter what you answer Yep, When those type things arise I go with the classic....change the subject asap. A well timed "I was thinking about inviting your folks over for dinner, what do you think?" or something along those lines will save your tail more often than not. | ||
| Ourdee |
Blake is right. I won't even call her my "ole lady". No respect in it. I knew a guy that joked that his wife's favorite color was clear. Well she colored him gone. He's in jail now and she is married to Prince charming. Wish I was as decent as he is. | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
When I get asked that question , I always reply with a big smile "Yes, to a nymphomaniac millionairess, distillery owner." Usually gets me out of trouble. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
'would you marry again' I am still trying to wrestle the motivation, and mitigation to marry once. | ||
| Stirz007 |
"I don't know honey, let's just hope we never need to find out...." seems to work pretty well. | ||
| Hr_puffinstuff |
i've found the perfect woman no one could ask for more she's deaf and dumb and over-sexed and owns a liquor store | ||
| 86129squids |
Qualifications: 4' tall, flat-top head, fold-back teeth, pistol grip ears, Oprah lips, and mute. Inherited a M/C dealership and a liquor store. | ||
| Blk_uly |
Wow squids! does she have a sister? | ||
| Ezblast |
Ahhh - true love! | ||
| Cityxslicker |
Ive found her, she passed the security screening and the background check, and is cute as a button, and trouble as a bulldog- she is perfect. I just dont see a positive role model to marriage that gives me any real faith in the institution. Its like the 4 minute mile, sure it can be run, its rare... and my pudgy butt aint doing it.... grrrs, rampant damn paranoia. (of course I had to leave the country to find her, and too many horror stories about the foreign brides, that I know I am better living there meh, I was headed over seas anyways( ) | ||
| Kyrocket |
Another qualification:  | ||
| Moxnix |
City, marriage is, indeed, an institution and it appears you don't want to be locked up in one. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
absolutely not, I have had my heart locked away for too long, I certainly dont want the rest of me locked up as well. it should be a rollercoaster - I know it is not all straight track with an assigned destination; but all the twists, turns, spins, barrel rolls, inverted spans, water hazzards, are all part of the ride; and I know it is not all hearts and flowers, romance and sex - but damnit; it has to be at least as much fun as work, and not the schematic I have just gone through. |
