| Author | Message | ||
     Xl1200r |
Long story short, a guy cuts me off pulling onto a main road. I beep my horn. He flips me off. I (stupidly) tail gate for 2 seconds (absolutely no longer). At the next light he gets out of his car. I decide not to get out and he yells some crap about how his kids are in the car, I'm driving like an idiot and he keeps motioning like he's going to break me in half. Light turns green, I back up and drive around him and head home. I'm not a fighter, not a big guy, and I was pretty shaken about the whole ordeal - wondering if this psycho had a gun or something. I know I did the "right" thing, but I just feel like a big pussy. So my question is what would you have done? And what should I have done (aside from not tailgate) had the situation changed? What if it was summer and my window was down? What if he broke my window and tried reaching in the car? What if I were on the bike? We have a lot of police, military, etc on this forum, so I'm wondering if there's good advice. I have to admit, with him stopped in front of me and cars right behind me and no room to pull around him, I felt very trapped and considered just running his ass over as he approached my car. | ||
| Hootowl |
You did the right thing. Not worth going to jail over. | ||
| Stirz007 |
Did you feel "threatened"? Not sure if the Castle Doctrine applies to cars or public traffic situations. "The world is full of as@h0l#s, the trick is being able to deal with them without the sh@t rubbing off on you" | ||
| Fast1075 |
I don't know how it is in New York...but if it is like it is here in Florida...there is a hotline direct to the Highway Patrol to report aggressive (or otherwise dangerous) drivers. A tag number, location and description will get pretty much immediate results...I have on three occasions reported dangerous people to find that they had been caught and pulled over further down the road. (In Florida, we are "patrol officer dense" on major highways)....if you report an erratic driver (like a deadly bluehair) for driving 22 in a 55 on a two lane road(last week)...they will call the person in for review of their driving capabilities. It's funny that an •••••• will cut you off then complain about tailgating...kinda the "pot calling the kettle black" I suppose. | ||
| Court |
You are not a pussy. You did precisely the right thing. Some folks may talk a tough guy game . . . and the folks who are best at this "walk away" sort of skill tend to be those who have carried concealed weapons and studied the techniques of Massad Ayoob. If you think responding in kind and playing "tough guy" is the way to go . . . come try that act in Queens or Staten Island. (I've told the story of the 2 kids who tried that only to find out it was my neighbor "Big Paul" Castellano - unwise) I drive 120-150 miles a day in the 5 boros of NYC. One of the skills (I learned it when I was riding bikes 1,000-2,000 miles per week) I use is to ALWAYS stop so that I can see under the front of the car in front of me. ALWAYS (this applies in many areas of life) leave yourself and escape path. Ya done well. | ||
| Swampy |
It's like "I'm Sorry, dude" Then forget about it, there are one or two things in life worth dying or killing over and a traffic altercation is not even on the page. You did the right thing, enjoy the adrenalin rush, just don't act on it. | ||
| Xbniner |
You probably did the right thing. I was not so intelligent, but it worked out ok. When I was in college I had a similar situation. The guy got out of his car with a mag-light and was yelling at me. I just rolled down my window and calmly asked him if he was going to hit me with that flashlight. I think it caught him off guard cause he seemed very confused and then said no. He got back in his car and drove away. If he would have said yes it would have been a whole different story. | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
you did the right thing... his kids where in the car?? he cuts you off... his kids are in the car? he flips you the bird... his kids are in the car? he gets out of his car and act like a ass... his kids are in the car?? Sounds like he should be up for Father of the year on a side note... a fellow gun owner friend of mine was headed home from the range when something LIKE this happened to him. The driver of the other car got out with a crowbar in hand and approached the diver side window. When he got there, he was greeted with a 45 sticking out the window and asked "What ya gonna do with that crowbar?" he promptly retreated to his car and left. Bet he never does that again... LOL | ||
| Stirz007 |
Just the other day, heading home from work. I come up behind this girl and her BF(?) putting along under the speed limit in the left lane, so I do a very quick blip of the high beam to let them know I was there. In Utah, that almost always results in the following: She slows down to about 55 in a 65. OK, whatever, I signal right, change lanes and speed up. Of course she speeds up to 80 now so I can't get around. Now I know where this is headed... I'm cut off, slow down, drop back in behind her - she hits the brakes. I do the WTF signal - she flips me off, BF, too. OK - fine - pull out the camera (phone). I make like I'm now filming them (really not) - they absolutely LOSE it!. BF is leaning out the window flipping me off for all to see - I just laugh and point at the camera, she gasses it and they bail - woulda been a great YouTube post. No time for this crap, change to far right lane, get off two exits later. Sometimes you just got to let it go. (wished I had actually got the footage, though - these two were suffering from severe cases of cranial rectal inversion syndrome) | ||
| Blake |
Good call. I'd probably crack the window open enough to talk to the guy and diffuse the situation by calmly apologizing for the tailgating, "hey man, I'm sorry for tailgating, I lost my head there for a second when you cut me off." If he didn't calm down, and continued behaving aggressively, I'd close the window, lay on the horn, and proceed taking video of him and his car's license plate with my phone. If he started acting on his anger/aggression, 911. | ||
| 2008xb12scg |
You did the right thing. Even if you were a big guy with a blackbelt. If somebody cuts me off I usually try to chalk it up as an accedent. I've cut people off didn't see them or whatever. Life goes on. More important things to worry about. Let's say you got out and kicked his @$$. What about the kids? What happens when LEO gets there? Just drive away and let it go.. | ||
| Hammer71 |
In my younger days while still in the Corps and probably a few years after, that guys kids would have seen their dad get a supreme ass beating. After countless years patrolling the roadways and seeing this crap, the wiser me sees just how foolish it is. +1 to you right move. As Court said leave a bit more space in between you and front car at stops as an escape route. It will help in an emergency situation. | ||
| Koz5150 |
Whenever you walk away from a situation like that... you walk away alive, healthy, and life goes on. Let crazy people be crazy on their own. | ||
| Johnnylunchbox |
No matter how tough you are, there is always someone out there who can kick your ass. You did the right thing. Avoiding confrontation is the key. Brandishing weapons does nothing but escalate the situation. If you have a weapon make sure you know how to use it well, and knowing how to use it includes knowing when not to use it. If someone is coming at you and trying to break your window, and trying to grab you, the game changes. Otherwise an apology can go a long way to diffusing a tense situation. The best weapon is between your ears. | ||
| Johnnylunchbox |
+10 Koz | ||
| Xl1200r |
Did you feel "threatened"? He wasn't a particularly big guy, but neither am I, and given the whole situation, yes, I felt threatened. Fast - no hotline here I'm aware of other than 911. Sounds like he should be up for Father of the year. My thoughts exactly. I figured he must have an ugly wife or something to have gotten so upset. The driver of the other car got out with a crowbar in hand and approached the diver side window. This is my main concern - what would have been my option at that point? I think in pure panic I would have just run him over. Stirz - your story is too familiar. It's like, I beep my horn quickly just to say, "Hey, you did something wrong, I kinda think your a douche right now but I'll get over it if you don't do it again", and they take it like I said all kinds of bad things about their mother, sister, wife, daughter, etc... Let's say you got out and kicked his @$$. What about the kids? IF I got out of the car and IF he started a fight and IF I were able to 'end' it... I don't mean to sound brash, but his kids aren't really my problem. My safety is my concern. Court & Hammer - Thing is, I know about the leaving space bit (ex-driving instructor, here, lol). To be honest, I probably had enough a room to get around, but I quickly decided against it as there was only another car or two in front of us and then a red light - what's my option then? Of course, in hind sight, I could have just made a right on red onto the side street, but it's hard to consider all of those options in the moment. Like I said, my main concern is what if there was some kind of weapon involved? I'm a gun owner and have been considering getting my pistol permit, and all I could think while he was walking up was I sure wish I already had it - not because I wanted to shoot him, or even present it, but just to make me feel like I had an option should things get out of hand. And I won't lie - after the fact I just wished I had gotten out of the car and beat the hell out of the guy, for no other reason than this dude is a class A douche canoe and it seems no one has told him yet. (Message edited by xl1200r on February 09, 2011) | ||
| Hammer71 |
Look at it this way, by not escalating the problem you made the guy look like a badass to his kids. They went home and told mom that dad was going to beat some dudes ass and the guy just left. or Kids are saying damn dads a real •••••••. Car vs Crowbar .... in NY you would be screwed certain law sections state that if you have the means to retreat you have to, yet physical/deadly physical force can be used in defense of life and property(go figure). The use of either has to be articulated very well and even then any lawyer would have a field day with it. Hindsight is great but it does no good in the NOW. The post on Sheep and Wolves goes into this a bit. Awareness of your surroundings at all times is paramount in this day and age (shame isnt it). Everything around you can be used as a weapon to defend yourself, seeing how is the hard part. | ||
| Guell |
Ive had the same crap happen to me, while i was on my bike no less. Its easiest just to leave and forget about it. You did the right thing. Although i did want to smash my helmet through his window and proceed to beat the shit out of him And if i had someone walking up to my truck that was in a threatening demeanor, i would run his ass over. | ||
| Hootowl |
I must admit I have gotten out of my car and approached someone before. There were two guys in the car behind me shining a laser pointer through their windshield and playing it across my rear view mirror. I guess they thought I wouldnt' be able to see the giant red glow on their windshield and assume it was someone else. I stopped in the middle of the road and as I approached their car, they backed up. It was at that point that I calmed down enough to realize that I was being just a stupid as they were and got back in my car and drove away. | ||
| Tiltcylinder |
You're missing the point. I'm sure he had his turn signal on. That gives him the right to make the turn, no matter what or who's coming. (Even though that turn signal is on the other side of the car from you). It seems manners, courtesy and common sense all got on the train together and left America some time ago. A turn signal now gives you the right to change lanes whenever (no need to look... the other guy will stop/slow down for me), pull into traffic or otherwise act the @ssh@t behind the wheel. Vehicles give people a sense of power and anonimity (some one spell check me). They do rude and stupid things because they're 'in' the vehicle, on their feet they'll be completely different personas. You've seen them, a long line to get off a busy exit... they're the ones speeding up alongside everyone to the front of the line and cutting in. Dodging back and forth through heavy traffic to end up two cars ahead of where they were ten minutes later. I like to think of it as the "Me First!" generation. Age doesn't matter, gender doen't matter, all that matters is that they are the most important person in the world and should be allowed to go first/be in front of whoever, whenever, where ever they are. "I don't have to wait, I'm special". I think tooling about on two wheels makes you much more 'aware' of the incredible lack of manners, skill and attentiveness of todays drivers. Cell phones and GPS units just add to the mess. You did the right thing. Confrontations only lead to jail these days. From now on just do like I do... picture them wearing their roman war helmet with floppy bunny ears (up to their eyebrows in their own butts, private parts dangling down the bridge of their nose and legs on either side. The smile makes them crazy. | ||
| Hammer71 |
I like to think of it as the "Me First!" generation Been saying this for years and its so true. Glad someone else sees the same thing | ||
| Blake |
He's probably on some other web forum bragging about his bad self. Lame. | ||
| Court |
>>>for no other reason than this dude is a class A douche canoe and it seems no one has told him yet. If you are going that route . . you needed to start well before dawn yesterday, you'll need lots of help and you'll be working tons of holidays and overtime. The douche canoes are one of the largest tribes . . based solely on my personal observation. Everyone here will, based on their own experience, background and disposition, decide how they'd handle it. My view is tempered, I suspect, by the couple days I spent in a hospital after being shot with a 12ga shotgun 3 times, from about 20 yards, in a similar situation. Changed my life. I not only entertain the hell out of x-ray technicians . . . I think differently. The best weapon is no match for a keen mind. | ||
| Reepicheep |
It wasn't a matter of you being a whimp of any kind... it was simply a matter of the other guy clearly having less to loose then you do, and being more willing to throw everything away by being stupid. I take some comfort (and some sadness) with the awareness that all the people that are a$$holes like this to me... will eventually run into each other. At which point things will go horribly wrong. | ||
| Stirz007 |
Make no mistake - I agree that walking away is often the best strategy - BUT - who among us hasn't fantasized about having a 'war-wagon'? (reinforced bumpers, no tags, tinted window havoc machine) "Want to be all passive-agressive and play games you would never do if you were standing here in front of me?" Want to play chicken? OK - fine - bring it on.... ramming speed!!!! And it is my humble opinion that some folks NEED to have their ass whooped. It would make the world a more courteous place. Growing up in the 70's in Louisiana - flipping someone off was something you DID NOT do - that was a sure way to get your ass whipped quick, fast and in a hurry. Nowadays, folks are scared of the situation Court described (and rightly so), so they won't hold others accountable, resulting in more of the same. People do what other people let them do - | ||
| Sifo |
Look at it this way, by not escalating the problem you made the guy look like a badass to his kids. They went home and told mom that dad was going to beat some dudes ass and the guy just left. I would love to be a fly on the wall when the wife finds out that her dumbsh!t hubby is pulling this kind of crap with the kids in the car. His balls are probably being stored in a jar in a kitchen cupboard at this point! Is that why they call them Ball jars? +1 on getting out of there with the least amount of confrontation possible. | ||
| Cityxslicker |
mommy vans and suv's. I give them a wide berth in the car, and even wider on the bike. any chance he was driving one of those ? (and yes, I count big trucks in with SUVs) every time I have seen road rage or highway studipity it has been from one of those. Now not saying it is exclusive to them, nor that every driver of one is; but as far as I am concerned = there is a profile, and I have yet to see it fail. dash cam, cwp. your first move is avoid, evade, escape, retreat barring that your options are defend or submit | ||
| Court |
>>>mommy vans and suv's. I give them a wide berth in the car, and even wider on the bike. I do too. The unwise have a common trait in that they are terribly predictable. Once on an unwise trajectory they lack the mental acuity to change orbits. Several weeks ago I saw two Westchester County housewives with their SUV's aimed at each other. I knew the mental dynamic these folks are slaves to and trained my 70-200mm VR lens on them. I was fortunate enough to release the shutter at the very moment both vehicles were visibly crushed and both airbags visibly deployed. The unwise rely on technology to do what smarter folks accomplish with acquired wisdom, common sense and appropriate restraint. I've failed at this, and lost my temper, on two occasions in my life. Once with an M-16A1 in my hands. Both were memorable experiences I'd never want to repeat. Wisdom and the ability to do mental extrapolations is what sets many of us apart from both animals and the unwise. In addition, we rely on them to provide us with employment for body shops, easy work for ER docs, entertainment and assurance we're doing the right thing. | ||
| Stirz007 |
>>>mommy vans and suv's. I give them a wide berth in the car, and even wider on the bike. Also known as MAV's in these parts (Mormon Assault Vehicle) - and for good reason. | ||
| Wolfridgerider |
one thing I try to do is put myself in a different frame of mind for my commute to and from work. I also take the side streets home and avoid the freeway if I can. |
