| Author | Message | ||
     Mr_grumpy |
Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, 'I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.' The second responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is colour- coded.' The third surgeon says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.' The fourth surgeon chimes in, 'You know I like Construction Workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.' But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts - the mouth and the arse - and they are interchangeable' | ||
| Firebolt020283 |
too funny  | ||
| Strokizator |
A guy walks into a grungy place in the middle of nowhere. A sign over the bar reads Cold Beer - $2.00 Cheeseburger - $2.50 Chicken Sandwich - $3.00 Handjobs - $25.00 As he approaches the bar a cute little gal comes over to take his order. He asks "Are you the one giving the handjobs?" "I sure am, Sugar. What would you like?" He says, "I'd like you to go into the kitchen and wash your hands really good. Then go make me a cheeseburger". | ||
| Pwnzor |
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| 86129squids |
Good one, Grumps! "Why do you wrap a gerbil in duct tape?" | ||
| Blk_uly |
The FDA announced a new antidepressant drug discovered recently, prescribed for lesbians after bad break-ups. It a combination of three other drugs already known. It's called trydikagen. | ||
| 86129squids |
http://www.theonion.com/articles/unorthodox-mascot -hijinks,18149/ | ||
| 86129squids |
"Knock Knock!" | ||
| Blk_uly |
who's there? | ||
| 86129squids |
little boy blue. | ||
| Tepiddeath |
little boy blue, who? | ||
| Froggy |
Micheal Jackson | ||
| Gunut75 |
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| Hr_puffinstuff |
THE GYNECOLOGIST WHO BECAME A MECHANIC A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?" "The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career." | ||
| Xb1125r |
too funny dude | ||
| Sifo |
The Baptist & The Oklahoma Cowboy A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Oklahoma . After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice." | ||
| S1wmike |
Three woman were at the high school reunion and they started talking about how's life been for the past twenty years. The first woman said she married a doctor and the money is great and she was interrupted by the other two who wanted to know about the sex life. So the first woman said not so good just seems to examine it poke and prod but never really gets anything done. the second woman says she married a lawyer, once again saying the money is good , big house and all. interrupted again by the other two she also says not so good, just to pace back and forth and make arguments but never gets anything done. the last woman said she married a mechanic and they're getting by but happy. when asked about the sex life she said he tore it up the first night and has been working on it ever since. (Message edited by S1wmike on October 05, 2010) | ||
| Xl1200r |
A heart sugeon was having some work done on his Harley at the local dealer and decided to stop into the shop to see how things were going. When there, he was approached by a mechanic. "Hey doc, my job ain't that different from yours. I take apart the 'heart', clean up all the valves, put it back together and it runs like new." The surgeon agrees. "So then why is that I get paid pennies compared to what you make?" After a moment of thought, the surgeon replies, "Try doing it with the engine running." | ||
| Bishopjb1124 |
HARLEY DAVIDSON!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
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| Britchri10 |
Two peanuts were walking down the road in Bagdad. One was a salted. |
