| Author | Message | ||
     Tbolt98 |
So, I've. Been with my girl for a few years now aND I'm ready to pop the question! Should I be old fashioned and ask her father for his blessing? If it makes a difference she was married previously and we've been living together for a while (both in our 30s). I get along great with her parents but I think i'm more nervous to ask him than I am my girlfriend! | ||
| Pwnzor |
Absolutely ask her father. Kick it old school, show him the ring and ask his permission. I'll be doing the exact same thing about 1 year from now. | ||
| Pkforbes87 |
I'm 10 years younger than you and plan on asking "her dad" before popping the question. Being 2010, I think it would be perceived more as asking for his blessing instead of his permission. Whatever the reason, do it and help keep chivalry alive! | ||
| Littlebuggles |
Seems appropriate to ask a blessing, rather than for permission since she's been there before and you're living together; but having a good relationship with the family, this is a good way to keep it good... But you know the family so if asking permission is the better way to play it then do. Might make for good conversation and a bonding opportunity with "dad". | ||
| Cityxslicker |
Good for y'all. I will conscientously object from the entire evolution, somebody has to even out the other side of the scale | ||
| Tbolt98 |
Thanks guys... kinda what I was thinking although i'm far from religious so I don't know if blessing was the right term... but you know what I mean. | ||
| Littlebuggles |
Generic term meaning permission but not exactly... Have you seen Killers? Ashton Kutcher's line to Tom Selleck is something to the effect of, "With your blessing, I'm going to marry your daughter." | ||
| Bluzm2 |
By all means, talk to the old man. Trust me, we dig that. My daughters BF asked me before he popped the question. I was honored.. I knew a week before she did, they left on vacation to the Grand Canyon, he asked as they were standing at the edge at sunrise. | ||
| Speedfreaks101 |
Why would you not ask him? You are asking to take his place as the number one man in her life. | ||
| Pwnzor |
I will ask Gretchen's father's permission. He has been a lifelong friend, he is a fellow trucker, and I believe he deserves this ultimate sign of respect from me. | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
My wife's dad asked me NOT to ask him. We had the talk anyway. I told him that I figured that if he had a problem with me he'd have told me already. He smiled and agreed. I would ask if for no other reason than it gives you a chance to express how you feel about the second most precious woman in his world. | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
Seems like a matter of common courtesy to me. I couldn't do that with my mrs as both her parents were (& still are) dead, & If I'd asked her brothers she'd have punched my teeth out & never spoken to me again. She's a proud woman. | ||
| Aptbldr |
Marrying joins you to another family. Its in your own selfish best interest to find favor with its alpha. Three daughters; one suitor's request in-hand so far (worked on me). | ||
| 2008xb12scg |
Just do it to show some resepct to the dad. It's not something that you have to do, but he will like it. Also if you tell him you plan on treating his daughter good and being a good husband it will help set his mind at ease. Also it shows the guy marrying his daughter has some balls. | ||
| Ft_bstrd |
You might also find some really good advice from your new Father-in-law or some potential deal sweeteners. My FIL offered to give us a down payment on a house if we'd run off to Vegas to get married. "She's the third of three daughters, and I'd pay good money not to have to wear a tux again." I said, "yeah, but you aren't strong enough to keep your wife from skinning me alive." | ||
| Nillaice |
i asked her step-father. he said it wasn't up to him, and to ask her biological father, who was just that and only that. biological. he didn't pay child support for many years for his 2 daughters (back then it was a fraction of what it is today) and was a cheating dirt-bag for the years leading up to the divorce. so how could marriage possibly mean anything to HIM and why should i waste my breath to ask HIM for blessing/permission to do something that apparently doesn't mean anything? ... to HIM we've been married now for 6 years and have 2 wonderful kids. i look forward to a respectable young man asking me for my blessing to marry my daughter. ... in at least 12 more years (she's 6 now) i will try to instill the understanding/respect into my son, so that it goes with out saying. ...and still tell him to | ||
| Rah7777777 |
By all means, ask the dad. Assuming he is in the picture! My wifes dad is a complete deadbeat, I've never met him. Last time my wife had contact with him the Cowboys just one a back to back superbowl! So it's been a while. I thought about asking her step dad, but he didn't come around until much later and she doesn't really think of him as a father figure ( although, he is a great guy! Just more of a friend so to speak ) I almost asked her mom, but I knew if I did she would ball into tears when we were leaving for vacation ( when I had planned on asking my wife to marry me) Which would have made it obvious to my wife what was going on. BUT, in a normal family where the dad is present.... By all means ask him. | ||
| Spank |
I didn't...but we had lived together for 8 years and have a kid together...Don't think it was necessary at that point. I was pretty much told to sh!t or get off the pot. | ||
| Captcaz |
'Blessing' was what I went with. Great show of respect for Dad (and if Mom is present at the same time, bonus points). Speaking as a father, I hope the gentlemen who wants to marry my 'perfect little princesses' afford me the same. I'd feel much better about letting my little girl go, especially to someone who respects me enough to ask. They'll always be our little girls, no matter how old they are. Good luck to you both, and Congrats! | ||
| Court |
Why do you want to marry her dad? Can you post a photo of him? | ||
| Johnnymceldoo |
I asked both her dad and step dad. No regrets. | ||
| Johnnymceldoo |
Don't think of it as old fashioned manners. Think of it as a man talking to a man and an oath you give to him to honor and cherish his daughter. Nothing is more real and hardcore as being a good husband and or father. None of us are hardcore enough to get it perfect but we can strive. | ||
| Jlnance |
Why would you not ask him? You are asking to take his place as the number one man in her life. The only reason not to ask is if doing so would piss off the future wife. | ||
| Doughnut |
I don't know if I like it phrased as "asking" but I do agree that he should be the first to know and talked with. I did with my ex. and to this day he likes me more then she does (Just had coffee with him even though it has been more then 5 years since the split). | ||
| Spank |
"Why do you want to marry her dad?" I was glad someone finally said that Court. That was the philosophy that my dad had with my mom's father. He said, "why would I ask. I'm not marrying him." So I went with that as well! | ||
| Tbolt98 |
"Why do you want to marry her dad?" Well, he is a great guy and I enjoy golfing, and putting back a few Leinies' with him... but his daughter is more my type! | ||
| Court |
I was funning' ya ..... I think it'd be a fine sign of respect and I'm excited for you. Keep us posted! | ||
| Reepicheep |
I used the "ask for your blessing" as well. It made the point that I wanted to make, that I loved Shelly and wanted to build a life with her. And I wanted her Dad to be a huge part of it (and he was, until the day he died, and I miss him dearly). So I wanted his blessings, and wanted him to be able to say anything he felt the need to say so we could work through it like men. It worked well. Now I did date a smoking hot medical student, and her mom was psycho, and her Dad was playing it safe (seeing as how he was living with psycho Mom), so in that case I would probably have not gone down that road. They would have just ranted and attacked and made things worse. Of course she turned out to be a little psycho also, so there is a lesson there about eating an apple from a tree you don't like  | ||
| Iamike |
I wish my SIL had asked me, it would have been special. I like the coffee commercial where the daughter is showing her dad the ring and dad says "That's what I told him when we talked last week". I told my son when I thought that he was getting close to make sure he asked her dad beforehand. Too bad it never happened. | ||
| M2statz |
Besides asking her, it will be the best move you can make! I did and do not regret it for a moment. |
