You guys must have seen it on a flat small screen in an old style theater. Or.....I am fifteen again, on crack, and have issues. Or.....you expected it to be some deep involved story line that could parallel your own life in some magical universe.
What happened to fun shoot'em up, bang-bang, root for the hero, fun to watch movies? This is, on a basic format, a new style version of a Roy Rogers Saturday matinee shoot'em up movie.
So it was not a four dimensional love story with a child's interest at heart, lighten up and have some fun!
Small screen, big screen, 3-D... nothing would fix the faults with this loser. Here's a few examples:
Hostage scene on the boat- sure, the pirates would set up right out in the open. Why would it be this way?... to make the scene work for the movie. Lame.
What's with the Jesse James wanna-be wardrobe? Lame.
Mickey Rourke riding in with a blonde bimbo on the back of the bike? Can't remember her name? "Go fix me a six olive martini"... seriously? How about his teary soliloquy about the suicide on the bridge? Ishtar could be taken more seriously than this drivel. Lame.
Igniting fuel dumped from a plane with a flare? Lame.
The island's army is incapable of standing up to a few ex-CIA bad guys who are bullying their population? Lame.
Assemble a team to make a ground assault on a fortress when the goal is to kill two individuals- when both targets are routinely out in the open, unprotected, on a regular basis? Lame.
When you begin your assault on said fortress, you assemble your entire team on the front lawn, in the open, just to split up and start planting explosives. Unbelievably Lame.
Oh yeah, why again were they planting explosives all over said fortress when the target was two individuals? Maybe just to have a big explosion scene? Lame.
I'm not even going to go into the suggested "relationship" between Stallone and the daughter. Lame is too kind a word for this pap.
These are just a few of the glaring failures I remember off the top of my head. The movie is filled with them.
This movie is an insult to the intelligence of the audience. The effects were very poor. The acting sub-par. Absolute zero believability in almost every action scene. Running and hanging on to a seaplane during take-off... right. This movie crossed the line were "action film" becomes "parody", and when it's not intended as a parody- that's pathetic.
I sincerely wish this movie was better, an still can't believe just how bad it is. I feel embarrassed for every actor in it. How can so many people have such low expectations? There is no excuse for this not being a better movie. Sad, just sad.
all the fight scenes that could have been brilliant were all chopped up
I can't stand these movies where you can't even follow the action. It's so frantic and loud you can't even follow what the hell is happening. Funny thing is kids think this "action" is so cool. I guess it goes along with the video games of today--talk about a headache.
I haven't even seen this movie, but like the vast majority of movies these days, I am sure it sucks.
Rocky 1976, Die Hard 1988, Terminator 1984, Lethal Weapon 1987, First Blood 1982, Aliens 1996, Matrix 1999
Hmmm. Doesn't look like any of these movies made after 2000? Coincidence? I don't think so.
Rourke's scene in The Wrestler when he sends his hand through the meat slicer and bangs up the supermarket... great... Rourke smoking a hooka pipe and close ups of his puppy dog eyes watering up... not so much...
But I think the worst line was at the end when Stallone rescues the girl and leaves her and then his side-kick said "Well, she wasn't really your type!" I can't remember hearing a line in a movie and thinking "That was a joke, right?"
Ugggghhh... you wanna see tha shit... watch Jet Li's Fearless... pay the three bucks to rent it and go buy yourself a nice thick T-Bone cooked up medium-rare... that is a far better use of ten bucks...
I haven't seen the Expendables yet; I'll probably wait until it comes out on video. However, you folks who are panning it sound like the people who panned Pixar's Cars when it came out. Some folks felt like Disney had sold out to NASCAR, and the NASCAR freaks thought the movie was too detached from reality. (Imagine that! A cartoon that's detached from reality!) Anyhow, our daughter saw it and really enjoyed it. She said that Terri and I would enjoy it. So, we'll probably see it. If we go to a theater, we'll try to find the biggest screen we can. (I wonder if it's playing at Imax?)
Without a doubt this is the worst film I have seen in many years!! Is this how ageing has-been actors fund their retirement? Somebody PLEASE put Stallone out of his misery so he can't make a sequel!!!
You must have a different version of this film in the USA because the one I watched (part of!) over here is utter sh*te!! I couldn't stand to watch the whole film so wasted a good DVD rental
To be honest. I think he meant for this to be a spoof on the old school action movies. The best part of the movie to me was that kick ass pickup. I've never been so motivated by a 4 wheeled vehicle then the one in that movie.
But seriously, they (the actors) had to have known that this is meant to just be a parody on the 80-90's "badass" flicks. I mean, I can't imagine anyone actually taking this movie as a possible blockbuster. I guess I just kinda had different expectations going into it...
So.....you went to a Stalone movie for the dialogue?
NOW THAT is just too funny!
Like I said....lighten up and try to enjoy a film that was made for entertainment's sake, not education, not realism, not depth, just fun. No wonder the World's economic mess is taking so long to be cured, everyone is just too tense. You want realism why waste your time watching a movie? Go watch the national news(might be more fiction, but you know what I mean).
A parody of an 80's action flick? More like this movie is another one.
Why do so many people want fictional characters, props, and action to be real?
Hey Fres, if it upsets you that much before seeing it.....I don't even know how you came to own a Buell!
Redb, Have you never seen an old western movie? You know, where the bad guys are always stupid. Did you ever hear of a movie called 'Star Wars'? Nothing was ever dumber than those worthless 'Storm Troopers' in a battle. Many millions of people have enjoyed the "entertainment" of those movies.
You always know who is going to loose the battles, and who the heroes will be, based on which side the headlining stars of the movie are on.
Crusty, Go for it. If it feels like you lost $20 take the wife out to dinner and just call it a date.
There are good action, sci-fi, fantasy, and western movies that have elements that can be considered "cheesy", but they do not ruin the overall integrity of the film. Even with questionable elements, a good movie has the capability of becoming a respected classic (like Star Wars).
Then there are bad action, sci-fi, fantasy, and western movies that are 100% cheese and have no integrity at all. Unfortunately, The Expendables falls into the latter category- total Limburger.
How about this... I vote The Expendables to be the absolute greatest, best-ever, no-holds-barred, number one all-time winner of the most cheesy, lame, mindless, waste-of-time, bad action movie ever to grace the screen.
There, now everyone's happy. You are right- The Expendables is truly worthy of praise.
I do get that you don't like this kind of movie. You probably view it like I do Godzilla movies.....just too stupid to exist, but they do.
So we pick what we want to view, we cheer what we like and smear what we don't. And so it goes.
Like is has been said "opinions are like assholes.....everybody has one!". In this particular case I guess I have a big one, because I liked the movie. Ergo, you have a little one, because you did not like the movie. More
Vern, it has NOTHING to do with being uptight... it has everything to do with TASTE I guess... you like cheesy dumbazz one liners, guys with big guns and little penises... that is fine with me...
Give me a good plot and some crazy storyline AND a bang bang, fall out of your seat ending... now that is what I like...
Try The Departed or Righteous Kill or any of the more recent Tarantino flicks like Kill Bill 1 and 2 or even older Tarantino flicks like Pulp Fiction or Dusk To Dawn... that is what I am talking about...
Just don't take my ten bucks and insult my intelligence... I went to see Jet Li and all I got was stupid jokes about his size... and a closuep of Mickey Rourke's over puffed up lips...
Try The Wrestler that was a sad movie about the cheesiest game on earth, but it wasn't canned like "The Disposables" or whatever... sounds like a sanitary napkin...
I guess... you like cheesy dumbazz one liners, guys with big guns and little penises... Well at least you have imagination, not one penis was shown in this movie, and of the guys in it, you wanted to see Jet Li?(oops, sorry, that was another Jet Li little guy joke!)
I don't like Tarantino flicks. You gotta smoke something heavy and deep for a long time to come up with that kind of thinking. 'Kill Bill I and II', I tried to watch them, could not get all of the way through either of them.
Aren't brains great? Two people can look at a single object and disagree on what it is. Put a couple million objects into some kind of order(a movie), who's alignment is designed by third brain, and you got a one in a trillion or so chance that two people will see the same movie in the same light. Ergo......
Mebbe we can all appreciate that one- Tarantino was involved, but not directly- plus, BIG plus, it was Dennis Hopper's last movie AFAIK. (Saw it in the theater with a big group of my former MC dealer buddies and my boss, we all rode there together and stopped at Hooter's for dinner and enuf beer beforehand...)
I'll have to see "Fearless"- got a copy of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" that I've watched repeatedly.
we need a new bail out, something to lighten the mood
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Liked it! Thought it was just the cure for a hot and humid afternoon, cold Icee, bucket O popcorn, and get to watch sh!t getting blown up! It had Bikes, Babes, Bombs, Bullets, ...... sure the plot may have been unbeleivable, but it was still entertaining
To be honest. I think he meant for this to be a spoof on the old school action movies.
Now isn't that a sad take on the movie...you know it's bad when people are wondering if it's a joke or not. From what I have gathered from the promo stuff, it's not supposed to be a spoof.
You know, where the bad guys are always stupid. Did you ever hear of a movie called 'Star Wars'? Nothing was ever dumber than those worthless 'Storm Troopers' in a battle. Many millions of people have enjoyed the "entertainment" of those movies.
Star Wars (the 3 good ones at least) should never be mentioned in the same post as The Expendables. Pu-lease.
(Message edited by fresnobuell on August 30, 2010)
