HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi ,was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars , a SWAT Team,a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
In Eastern Kentucky a Farmer made a phone call to report a shooting. A Trooper was sent out to Investigate when he arrived at the farm a car was sitting at the end of the drive with the hood up and a man leaning across the finder. The Trooper parked got out of his car and headed up the drive to the house. As he passed the parked car he said Good morning to the man leaning across the finder. The Old Farmer (eighties) that made the call was sitting on the front porch drinking a cup of coffee when the Trooper approached. In the investigation the Old Farmer stated that he had laid down the night before when he herd a noise outside he got up and seen someone steeling the battery off his car and shot the thief. When the Trooper asked the Old Farmer why he didn’t call the night before the Old Farmer told him it was past his bedtime and he would worry about it in the morning. The Thief was shot behind the ear with a .22 long rifle from about thirty yards away. I herd this story when I worked as a Radio Technician for the KSP back in the mid eighties.