Author |
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Milt
| Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 11:44 am: |
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A friend sent me these, and I'd like to share. • Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine • A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. • Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. • Practice safe eating - always use condiments. • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. • A hangover is the wrath of grapes. • Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play . • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. • Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. • When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. • A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. • What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. • In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. • She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.. • If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. • When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. • You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. • Local Area Network in Australia : the LAN down under. • Every calendar's days are numbered. • A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine. • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. • He had a photographic memory that was never developed. • A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. • Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall. • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.. • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. • Acupuncture is a jab well done.. |
86129squids
| Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 12:04 pm: |
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You're a pretty fart smeller... |
Glitch
| Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 03:00 pm: |
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You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think |
Aptbldr
| Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 05:12 pm: |
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She can't think mulch of that one, Glitch. |
Hootowl
| Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 06:09 pm: |
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Chuck you farley |
Sparky
| Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 10:40 pm: |
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Hi! My name's Cliff. Drop over anytime. |
Danger_dave
| Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 04:15 am: |
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The difference between a Pigeon and a Mountain Goat is that the Pigeon Mucks around on Fountains. The difference between a Battle Horse and a Draft Horse is that a Battle Horse Darts into the Frey. |
Crusty
| Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 05:38 am: |
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Then there was the Optician who fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. |
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