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Pkforbes87
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 - 04:08 pm: | 
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Navy's first sargent is an LPO (leading petty officer)
For military personnel, he would be the first person to go to in the chain of command, but since this is being brought to light by civilians, I think higher ranks will be a better first step. The LPO will find out as soon as the CMC, ombudsman, or chaplain are notified anyway, and he will NOT be happy about being caught off guard from the top of the chain, which will make things even worse for the deadbeat dad. |
Hootowl
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 - 04:14 pm: |
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The LPO at all the commands I've been attached to was simply the LCPO's office boy. No real authority. I don't think you're missing much by not contacting him/her. |
Ratyson
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 - 04:59 pm: |
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Wow.. reading through this just breaks my heart for this child.
Such selfishness... Children start to form their "trust" in things at a VERY early age.. and being moved from place to place breaks this trust development.
He is probably already showing signs of this if he is constantly moved around.
Being a foster parent, I have learned what this can do to even a child as young as 1 year old.
I sure hope you guys are able to get him back where he belongs, and in a stable environment. |
Dalton_gang
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 - 05:14 pm: |
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This is Jan,
The only one I can speak to is the Ombudsman. They decide what is relevant and who it gets sent to higher up. They won't even give me information on how to contact the Chaplain. I can only access what is listed publicly on their website.
When the father took the child late October and only kept him for 3 1\2 days and then handed him over to girl and she had him for a little over a week before she moved back to MO and gave him back to me. He wasn't the same child that had left my home 2 weeks prior. He looked depressed. No life in his eyes. He had emotional problems and got upset very easily. When we were around anyone outside of our home he clung to me and wouldn't go to anyone else. He also had problems with me changing his diaper and rinsing his hair. I never had any of these problems prior. I even took him to 2 different Doctors voicing my concerns. They both said to give him as much love, stability and routine as possible. It could take 2 to 3 times as long as he was gone to get him back to where he was before he left. He was maybe at 90% back to normal before he was taken again.
I am having a very difficult time locating his (evil) grandmother that he is staying with in CA so I can have the child checked on and his welfare and living conditions, etc.
Again I want to thank everyone for all your suggestions and help.
I wish this was as easy as sending a email to his commanding officer but it doesn't work that way. |
Tbolt_pilot
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 - 06:20 pm: |
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Jan and Neal,
Everyone here is on the right track with their advice. It would help if the Navy had a better 'First Sergeant' equivalent. If he is deploying with the ship then he must have a Dependent Care Plan on file at all times. That's what the Air Force calls it anyway. If his is inaccurate or misleading then thats a big strike against his case.
I say +1 on the documentation/journal, keep consistent contact with the ombudsman and CMC, and I think contacting the Congressman is a great idea...yours and his.
GOD bless you and the child. Our prayers include you. |
Patrickmitchell
| | Posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 - 07:09 am: |
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PM me, I have experience with this in the Marine Corps (It is 10 years old).
If you are not getting up the chain of command, contact your congressman. There is a set procedure to get official answers out of a military unit (Congrit or Congressional inquiry). They are required to respond, in writing, with in a limited time period. If you go this route, be aware that you will not make friends at this command/ship. Said another way, this should be viewed as a last resort. Be calm, factual, and polite.
Things you need to know/deal with:
Initially, the command is not going to look at this from your prospective. It sounds like the boy's father is going to paint you as a vengeful ex-father in-law. This is not my opinion, but is something you need to understand. Without some documentation to prove otherwise, they are going to work to protect the sailor from you.
You are not this kid's mother or father. You will have to document substantial neglect to even get consideration to gain custody. It will help if you have a written record of your account of this situation. If you have not contacted child protective services, you need to start. Retain all reports and maintain a phone log. Document, document, document... Without legal proof, you don't stand a chance of getting custody.
Your daughter will need to be involved in your request for custody.
Consider offering to take the baby off this kids hands, with no financial support requirements. This would be less than ideal for you and your wife, but would get the child out of harm's way. Once you get custody, you may be able to go back to his command, or the courts, for support.
This sounds like an awful situation. Drop me a note if I can be of further assistance. |
Court
| | Posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 - 08:31 am: |
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I'd echo the above post. I served as the Cong/Splint (Congressional and Special Interest) Liaison for Commanding General J. C. Fegam Jr. in the USMC and they have a very low tolerance for this stuff.
My experience was in 1974-1976 so many of the younger members will be more fluent but I commend you for taking action.
No child should be the victim of any kind of abuse |
Patrickmitchell
| | Posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 - 09:50 am: |
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I should add that you are going to have to deal mostly with the civilian child protective services. The military has no authority to decide who has legal custody of a child.
That being said, military units do still try and enforce good standards of behavior. If you win custody, and a financial judgment against a military member; it is much easier to collect. If the child is being housed on a military installation, and you win custody; the MPs will ensure that the child is turned over to you.
It will not hurt your cause to put pressure on this guy by contacting his CO. Making your congressman aware may also get you to the head of the line with child protective services.
Once again, good luck to you. |
Ulywife
| | Posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 - 10:46 am: |
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He wasn't the same child that had left my home 2 weeks prior. He looked depressed. No life in his eyes.
That breaks my heart. I have nothing to add that hasn't been said already. Best of luck with custody. Biology isn't what makes parents. It's the care, love and well-being that make you his parents.
Keep us posted and vent here when you need to. We'll support you all in whatever way we can. |
F_skinner
| | Posted on Thursday, December 17, 2009 - 07:51 pm: |
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Navy's first sargent is an LPO (leading petty officer
PK, as a former 1st Sgt (USAF) and initiated Chief I can tell you that is false. LPOs simply do not have the training for this. Half the time the CMC does not either but they do not get to that position by being slugs.
I am coming into this late. I would have told you the same others have but will also tell you that a letter to a Congressman can be very effective if the Ombudsman does not give you the satisfaction you are looking for. The facts are key with as little emotion as possible.
My heart goes out to your family and the little boy.
Frank |
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