| Author | Message | ||
     Crusty |
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in- law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?" I replied "Dust". And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment .' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds'. I bought her a scale. And that's how the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciati on. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started... . ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started... . ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ******* I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's when the fight started... .. ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ********** ** I took my wife to a restaurant . The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's when the fight started... .. | ||
| Redefine420 |
Ohh man, I just im'ed the first one to my wife, and thats how this fight started. Totally worth it! | ||
| Cochise |
My wife was complaining about her small boobs, I told her she should wipe them every morning with toilet paper. She said, "and that will make them grow?" I said, "I'm not sure, but it sure has worked on your butt all of these years"....... And that's how the fight started!!! | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
If a man speaks all alone in a forest where no woman can hear him... Is he still wrong? | ||
| U4euh |
I laughed my A(& off at these jokes, she asked what was so funny...... and thats when the fight started! | ||
| 86129squids |
BUMP! | ||
| Zac4mac |
Sweet!! My wife is in the other room rolling as I read these off... Thanks for the morning grins. Time2Work Z(  Neil) | ||
| Tnxbrider |
Come on guys don't make any sexist comments... Bitches hate that stuff... and thats when the fight started | ||
| Sanchez |
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... | ||
| Glitch |
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, and slipped quietly into the garage. I pushed the bike out, and proceeded to ride out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 17 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding in that?' And that's when the fight started.... | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
I have to share this. This afternoon I dropped off one of our vehicles for it's safety inspection. The centre is just across the road from my wife's work & as I had another appointment I used the spare key & took her car having told her what I was going to do & that she should pick up the inspected one after work. She phoned me at 17.30 spitting because I hadn't left her the keys. Then got even louder when I started laughing. Eventually she calmed down enough for me to explain that the testing centre had the keys so they could do the inspection. You've gotta love 'em. | ||
| Pammy |
Oh man, I think I have told the story of how I once had to drive all the way to the shop(work) "less than dressed". The pay back for that ordeal was pure genius....or was it evil? It was genius-ly evil...yeah that's it. Ha Ha Ha Ha...yeah, it's funny....now(not then). | ||
| Road_thing |
"less than dressed" Whoa!  Got Burlap? rt | ||
| Lovemybuellman |
 lol good stuff... |
