| Author | Message | ||
     Crusty |
STIMULUS EXPLAINED Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China . * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, China, Taiwan, Indonesia, or Japan. * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Peru, and Guatemala . * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan . * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan, or yet again, China. * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in America by: 1 spending it at yard sales, or 2 going to ball games, or 3 spending it on prostitutes, or 4 beer, or 5 tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US, and Budweiser isn't even American anymore.) *** I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I meet at a yard sale and we're going to drink beer all day! | ||
| Cudajohn |
I hope it isn't like the $4500 Cash for Clunkers and is taxable. | ||
| Buellerandy |
What if the prostitutes you were with were from Thailand? Does it still count? :P | ||
| Nevrenuf |
What if the prostitutes you were with were from Thailand? Does it still count? :P then you just stimu-lie. not like the government wouldn't expect it. | ||
| Court |
What if you bought a Russian umbrella girl lunch in Atlantic City? Qualify? | ||
| Gjwinaus |
Could you post pictures of the umbrella girl, I like all the other pictures you have posted of umbrella girls | ||
| Dbird29 |
How do we join the Charity? Court's adopt a starving umbrella girl charity. | ||
| Court |
Actually . . . and I cite the "old guy Father image" . . it was a "odd weekend" . . . remind me to tell you sometime. |
