| Author | Message | ||
     Greenlantern |
A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!) "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks" | ||
| Mainstreamer |
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| Diablobrian |
wow, didn't see that one coming. | ||
| Aldaytona |
Oh yeah, you can't cruise around with your schlong hanging out. Haven't seen that one for quite some time, still just as funny as years ago. | ||
| New12r |
I like that one. | ||
| Bartimus |
DRINKING BUDDIES Bubba and Earl were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Budweiser. Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads then throw the bottles under the seat." Just let me do the talkin'." They finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Howdy boys, ya'll been drinkin'?" "No sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "Me and Bubba's on the Patch." | ||
| Cochise |
Tibideaux and his buddies went huntin' and while hunting, Tibideaux is shot and killed. They all try to figure out how to tell Mrs. Tibideaux about it and Boudreaux says, "I'll told 'er, I got dat tack!" They pull up to the house, and Boudreaux knocks on the door, Mrs. Tibideaux answers, Boudreaux says, "'scuse me, you dat Widow Tibideaux?" She says, "well, I be dat Tibideaux, but I damn sure ain't no widow. Boudreaux says, "The Hell you ain't!" | ||
| Oldog |
On John-Boy and Billy this am The story is that a lady in Canada is a huge fan of Anderson Cooper of CNN, so much so that she had his likeness tattooed on her left thigh, On the right was a picture of Regis Philbin. Her husband was quoted as saying .......  A. You are strange but I love you any way, B. I told you that you realy are a marked woman  C. The guy in the middle looks like Willy Nelson. From the porch the Oldog.. | ||
| Midknyte |
This enormously fat woman comes into the bar in this sleeveless dress. As she's leaning on the bar, she raises her fat arm in the air to reveal the bushiest, hairiest armpit you've ever seen in your life. With her arm in the air, she crys out.."WHO WANTS TO BUY ME A DRINK???" To everyones surprise, a little old drunk that slouched in the corner yells out "GIVE THE BALLERINA A DRINK!!!" and pushes money at the bartender. She wolfs the drink down, slams the glass on the bar, raises her arm in the air and again yells out ............."WHO WANTS TO BUY ME A DRINK????" Once again, the drunk in the corner yells out "GIVE THE BALLERINA A DRINK!!!" and pushes money at the bartender. As the bartender walks over to get his money he said to the drunk...."Look, buddy! I don't care how you spend your money...but why do you keep calling her 'ballerina'?" His reply? "ANY WOMAN THAT CAN LIFT HER LEG THAT HIGH IN THE AIR, GOTTA BE A BALLERINA!!!" | ||
| Tx05xb12s |
Aw man that's nasty. Thank God Gen X chicks typically shave or at least give it an edge-up. | ||
| Aka_dark_lord |
Amen TX Good laugh, keep em coming. | ||
| Hammeroid |
A flea is walking down the beach in Miami and sees another flea sitting there shaking and freezing. The flea asks him "why are you so cold? this is miami, you should be hot." The flea reply's " yeah I know but I just came down from NY in some guys mustache on a motorcycle and froze my ass off the whole way." The flea reply's "i just came down from Boston and am totally fine. What you need to do next time is find a cute girl and crawl down into her panties and into her little patch of hair and you'll nice and toasty warm the hole way down." The other flea says "thanks, thats what I'll do next time. A year goes by and the flea is walking down the beach and sees the same flea sitting there shivering with the cold again and asks " didn't you do what I told you last year?" The flea says " yeah I did, I did. I was down there and was so warm and cozy that I fell asleep. Next thing I know, I wake up and I'm in some guys mustache on a motorcycle. | ||
| Greenlantern |
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| Road_thing |
Man calls home. Maid answers phone. He says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend." His maid says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both." Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok." 5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?" He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them when I get home." She says, "We don't have a pool." He asks, "Is this 555-1234?" |
