| Author | Message | ||
     Bigeasy |
Yes my friends it is once again time for you to tell us just how tuff chuck is. As I was scrolling through killboy.com I came across this qoute that had me laughing maof. "Chuck Norris rode the dragon once. When he finished it was straight!" So come and give me some things about chuck.  Art | ||
| Midknyte |
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist | ||
| Bigeasy |
Good one! Chucks tears can cure cancer. Its to bad he has never cried. (Message edited by bigeasy on July 14, 2006) | ||
| Indy_bueller |
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. | ||
| Indy_bueller |
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it. | ||
| Indy_bueller |
And my personal favorite..... When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. | ||
| Black_sunshine |
Chuck Norris wasen't born....he punched his way out of the womb. There is not a chin under Chuck Norris' beard....just another fist. Leading causes of death among Americans....1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris | ||
| Luvinit |
that's strange Here, everybody thinks chuck is a loser who can't act???? | ||
| Mxer83 |
dont knock him, he always manages to have a hot old lady about 15 years younger than him, lol | ||
| Doon |
a couple of my favorites. Fool me once..shame on you.Fool Chuck Norris and he will f**k you up! When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. | ||
| Barker |
Chuck Norris rode Deals Gap once, and when he finished it was straight. from killboy.com | ||
| Hammer71 |
Chuck Norris doesnt sleep........he waits. | ||
| Alanshouse |
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. | ||
| Cochise |
People can say what they want about Chuck Norris, but he is so tough, he can blow bubbles with Beef Jerky | ||
| Cochise |
Chuck Norris IS only human. He puts his pants on, one leg at a time, just like everybody else, then he f'ing kicks some ass. | ||
| Midknyte |
dont knock him, he always manages to have a hot old lady about 15 years younger than him, lol  yep, an he knows how to handle em  | ||
| Sleez |
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Chuck Norris ordered a steak. The steak did what it was told. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. Instead, he stuff's turtle shells full of beef and slathers it in pig's blood. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill. Chuck Norris once took down a German fighter plane only using his finger and yelling "BANG!" Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter, he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends a blank form and a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never paid taxes to this day. Chuck Norris can eat only one Lay's potato chip. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face. Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King. Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two". Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is. Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord. Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire. Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris won an Oscar!!! (funniest yet!!!) | ||
| Cmm213 |
Funny cartoon to check out that has chuck in it, www.boredatwork.com go to the ultimate showdown link. | ||
| Indy_bueller |
that's strange Here, everybody thinks chuck is a loser who can't act???? Funny, thats what we think about Jean Claude Van Damme | ||
| Diablobrian |
That's what makes killboy's site so funny. | ||
| Smitty808 |
I can't let this one get away that easy!!! Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Here is what happens when you search for Chuck Norris on Google: http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/index.htm (Message edited by smitty808 on July 19, 2006) | ||
| Sgtbuell |
Chuck Norris beat Tom up because MySpace is His Space. | ||
| Darthane |
http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/ | ||
| Daves |
There is only one thing that Chuck Norris fears, Arguing math with Blake  | ||
| Lowflyer |
Chuck Norris killed the Energizer Bunny. | ||
| Trish |
Spotted in Billings, Montana:  |
