| Author | Message | ||
     Buelltroll |
Should children witness childbirth? Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack his ass again!" If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you | ||
| Metalstorm |
lol she has a point.  | ||
| Midknyte |
and he'll spend the rest of his life trying to crawl back in... | ||
| Cochise |
Out of the mouth of babes. My six year old was getting into the bathtub, my wife said, "get in there boy.", my daughter then looks at my wife and says, "I'm not a boy, I don't have that thing comin' out of my bottom." | ||
| Jlnance |
LOL - Isn't it amazing how they piece all that together. | ||
| Mr_grumpy |
As long as it comes out at home it's sweet, it's when you're in a crowded restaurant or a busy shop it can be embarrassing, & they always pitch it loud just as there's a lull in the background noise too. | ||
| Fullpower |
my son, aged 2, chinese restaurant, mid afternoon so not crowded, maybe 3 tables occupied. Gentleman at table about halfway across the room passes gas. audibly. two year old stands up on seat, turns all the way around, locates the likely offender, points and loudly announces " SOME-BODY AT THAT TABLE FARTED" bought down the house, not a dry eye in the place. | ||
| Diablobrian |
How about a 3 year old doing her little hum while mom and dad are shopping ... Until she bellows out as loud as she can."MAS TEQUILA!!!" ala a Sammy Hagar tune. We were living in San Diego at the time and we got very disaproving looks from the largely hispanic shoppers. They apparently weren't Hagar fans. | ||
| Indy_bueller |
I read this somewhere once, I dont know if its true: A woman and her small daughter are in line at the bank. The child gets bored and starts to act up. Mother says "If you don't stop I'll tell daddy!" Daughter says "If YOU don't stop I'm telling Grandma I saw you kissing Daddys pee-pee last night!" | ||
| Mb182 |
My daughter was 3, we were in line at the grocery store behind a HUGE lady.. the lady kept bending over to get stuff out of her cart when my daughter, standing in the cart with her arms stretched wide, shouts "Dad Look at the size of that Butt" I tried to quite her and she repeated "have you ever seen a butt that large?" I could have died and the large lady gave me a serious Eat S$%# look! Several others is adjacent lines were fighting to hold back laughter.. As the lady pushed her cart away, the cashier cracked up and gave my daughter some candy.. out of the mouth of babes  MB | ||
| Oldog |
Some where deep in the archives here is a story of 3 incendents involving children, the pee-pee story is one. | ||
| Cochise |
Well, the same daughter I mentioned earlier was talking in complete sentences when she was18 months, so it was not too uncommon for her to say some funny things, when she was young. My mother was her Day Care and my mom would way the young lady and exclaim, "300 POUNDS????" they would laugh and laugh, so at the doctor's office, my mom was getting weighed in front of the waiting room and my daughter yells, "300 pOUNDS????!!" same Daughter, same Maw-Maw, another doctor's office with my mom, Maw-Maw is so proud of my singing daughter, until she gets towards the end of her beautiful song..."I've got two eyes, I've got two ears, I've got two arms and I've got two BOOBS" Final cute story of "the Duo" My daughter, waiting with Maw-Maw in the bathroom stall, the lady next to them "fluffs", my daughter starts giggling and says, "Did you hear that Maw-Maw, that lady went "phblpblpblpblpbl" |
