| Author | Message | ||
     Kccyclone |
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: BWB Policy: Effective Feb 17, 2006 Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise . Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. Bereavement Leave This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Toilet Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy. Lunch Break Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere . __________________ | ||
| Oldog |
Was that CatBert the Evil HR Director? you for got that time in the bathroom is charged against your vacation time. or that you must carry your company issue cell phone on vacation, and are required to report in daily while on vacation( via phone ), you are subject to being recalled from your vacation at the whim of your manager. | ||
| Seanp |
Sounds like the Army - we actually had guys get called in off of leave when we got sent back into Iraq after we thought our year was up and had sent people home. Actually, as far as leave and stuff goes, the Army is great - when you're not deployed or in the field, you generally get weekends off, you get all the federal holidays, and you get 30 days paid leave a year. So it's not so bad... | ||
| Ryker77 |
Heck I think one of my years in the Marines I was on leave for about 3 months.. I had a bike wreck that required surgery. So I got 45 days FREE medical leave. Since it was knee and arm surgery. Then I had 60 days leave balance. that I used up 12 days at a time.. But would start the leave on Monday and end on a Friday- so that I could get two weekends for free. They hated that!!! |
