| Author | Message | ||
     Electraglider_1997 |
**Two Crocodiles** >> Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp > near the lake. > The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I > can't understand how you >> can be so much bigger than me. >> We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. >> I just don't get it.' >> 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you > been eating?' >> >> 'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small > Croc. >> >> 'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?' >> >> 'Down the other side of the swamp near the parking > lot by the Capitol.' >> >> 'Same here. Hmmmm? How do you catch them?' >> > 'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and > wait for one to unlock the > car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the > shit out of them and >> eat 'em!' >> >> 'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I > see your problem. >> You're not getting any real nourishment. > See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a > Politician, there's >> nothing left but an a.sshole and a briefcase. >> A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence: "Get well soon, from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week." Two Large Plastic Garbage Bags A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large Plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once In a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 Bills falling out of your bag." "Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and See if I can find them. Thanks for telling me." "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that Money? "You didn't steal it, di d you?" "Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right Next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his Thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'. "Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the Way, what's in the other bag?" "Well, you know", "not everybody pays". TWO LADIES TALKING IN HEAVEN >> >> >> 1st woman: Hi! My name is Sherry. >> 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die? >> >> 1st woman: I froze to death. >> 2nd woman: How horrible! >> >> 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, & finally died a peaceful death. What about you? >> >> 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. >> >> 1st woman: So, what happened? >> >> 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic & searched, & down into the basement. Then I went through every closet & checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, & finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack & died. >> >> 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive. >> | ||
| Electraglider_1997 |
> Moms in Therapy > > A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four > young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. > > To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. > You've even named your daughter Candy." > > He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. > Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." > > He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. > This too shows itself in your child's name,Brandy." > > At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up,took her little boy > by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's > talking about. Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner!" > | ||
| Mike_dinger |
HAYNES' MANUAL - THE REAL MEANINGS Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise. Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you? Haynes: Should remove easily. Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer. Haynes: This is a snug fit. Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer. Haynes: This is a tight fit. Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer. Haynes: As described in Chapter 7... Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox. Haynes: Pry... Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into... Haynes: Undo... Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size). Haynes: Ease ... Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ... Haynes: Retain tiny spring... Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"! Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards. Haynes: Lightly... Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly". Haynes: Weekly checks... Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it! Haynes: Routine maintenance... Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be! Haynes: One spanner rating (simple). Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up? Haynes: Two spanner rating. Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you). Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate). Translation: Make sure you won't need your bike for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start. Haynes: Four spanner rating. Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb! Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert). Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!! Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company. Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this... Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Haynes: Compress... Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "******" repeatedly under your breath. Haynes: Inspect... Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"! Haynes: Carefully... Translation: You are about to cut yourself! Haynes: Retaining nut... Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust. Haynes: Get an assistant... Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know. Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed. Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs. Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal. Translation: But you swear in different places. Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs... Translation: Snap off... Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch... Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift! Haynes: Everyday toolkit Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone Haynes: Apply moderate heat... Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat. Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw. Haynes: Apply moderate heat... Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer. Haynes: Index Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do! Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain wrench or length of bicycle chain. Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer. Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one. Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere. Haynes: Grease well before refitting. Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid (dish soap). Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease. Haynes: See illustration for details Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given. HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "F...." HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing. EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack. TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters. PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack. SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot. BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit. TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup. TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect. CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle. BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought. INSPECTION LIGHT: Consumes 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads. AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off. | ||
| Cajunrph |
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| Riding_tall |
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this... Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards. | ||
| Froggy |
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards. Verify that the circuit is off first. | ||
| Smiley1eye |
Some Quotes I've gathered up from various places. I accept NO credit for any of these; but some of them are worth a read... If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance... You don't stop laughing because you get old, you get old because you stop laughing. Procrastinate now, dont put it off! Most people wouldn't do this job for a million bucks. We do it for a hell of a lot less. Most Motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me? The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE END That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." Any motorcyclist caught holding up automobiles on a winding road will be forced to sell all fringed accessories, buy plaid pants and take up golf.-- Peter Egan In dog years I'm already dead! The really bad thing about stupid people is they think they are smart because they aren't smart enough to know how stupid they are. If you can stand in the middle of a main state highway in broad daylight, while taking a leak, without fear of being noticed or run over, then this qualifies as “middle of nowhere”. Saving money is for people who make more than they can possibly spend! I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous..... " Treat your throttle and brakes like a pair of tits ! You go grabbing them hard and you're going to get slapped. You want to massage them nice and smooth. That way the bike will kiss you" Chris Carr Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. -- Charles Kuralt When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. The hell with the long way around, take the hard way across. Travel more. The US is a part of the world, not the center of it. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgement. "Road, n: A strip of land between a place that is futile to be and a place where you're no better off" - A. Bierce. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? "Nobody gives a sh*t about something you didn't do" -The Hip Rain. You don't have to shovel it. You know the scene in every adventure movie when they're gearing up to kick ass? Strapping on knives, loading shotguns, slinging grenades, click, clack, ka-chunk? Same deal with putting on your riding armor -- you're gearing up to kick ass and take names... I am a rocker, I am a roller, I am an out-of-controller! I'm a fuel-injected suicide machine! If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen. Henry David Thoreau Religion ought to be like sex, legal as long as no money changes hands. Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. HL Mencken Ride it like it belongs to your father-in-law Find out how much of that stuff it takes to kill me, then let's back off just a little bit. I like my motorcycles like I like my women. Naked twins with lots of bottom end. "If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!!" "There's a bunch of things I find myself doing where I think: This would be a dumb way to die." --Stagehand "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream." -Samuel Langhorne Clemens May your journey be filled with adventure, and free from incident. Well OK... maybe a little incident. The Irish lived on an island, surrounded by fish, they ran out of potatoes and starved to death. Life begins at 30 but starts to become really fascinating approaching 150!! The sight of the huge world put mad ideas into me, as if I could wander away, wander forever, see strange and beautiful things, one after the other to the world's end. -- C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered. - G. K. Chesterton I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001) Old timer in a gas station/convenience store is down on one knee, loading stuff into his saddlebags, when a young couple, holding hands, walks by. "Nice bike" says the young man, "Thanks" replies the rider... "I was gonna get a Harley once,but my wife talked me out of it" lamented the young man. The old timer looked up, glanced from guy to girl and back, then said, "yeah, I had a wife, once" The young lady dragged her husband away without a chance for any reply.... "I would not trust any of these bikes to take you safely anywhere. They'll take you into danger, excitement, and adventure." "It will take a lone time to restore chaos" Another George Bush sound bite. If I can not smoke a cigar in heaven, I shall not go. M. Twain Take time, because time will eventually take you! Make the best of life, because that makes for the best life! If you aren't having fun on a bike trip, you really do have problems. A ship in a port is safe but that is not what ships are built for. - Mom So I told the Cop, "It's my damn motorcycle and I'll ride it as fast as I want to" "There are two possible outcomes: If the result confirms the hypothesis, then you've made a measurement. If the result is contrary to the hypothesis, then you've made a discovery." —Enrico Fermi “A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” I ride way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. ~Author Unknown Be kind to animals, children, the elderly, and anyone or anything else that can fetch you a pint. "A bike's true beauty is measured by the number of beautiful places it has taken you." - knybanjo "As a teen I would have •••••• a snake if someone would hold it's head, drunk or not. But I've matured. Now I'd make sure I was drunk before I tried to •••• a snake"..........Bueller The difference between ignorance and stupidity is that you can fix ignorance... if you're not stupid! "You're going to take the car, I hope." - My Mom every time we plan a road trip. Sorry mom! I might not live forever, but I'm going to die trying Why all the cool people live so ••••••• far away, how I'm going to pay for gas to meet them, whether there are any hidden cool people in my town who are in a similar situation. From a certain point onwards, there is no turning back. That is the point that must be reached. -F.Kafka Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it. -David Sedaris If you don't do it today, do it tomorrow and if there's no tomorrow, it doesn't need to be done. -old pioneer dude in the Yukon "Virtue isnt virtue unless it slams up against vice,So consequently, your virtue's not real virtue. Until it's been tested... tempted." Pembleton "From the tracks on his arms, large caliber wound, proximity to a heroin market... I'd say it was a heated dispute about the symbolism of red and blue in 18th-century French romantic poetry. "John Munch" I have two brain hemispheres. In the left one there is nothing right and in the right one there is nothing left. The view was so wide and expansive that if you blindfolded someone with agoraphobia, took them up there and ripped the blindfold off, their head would explode. Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned - Anonymous Overheard at a local campground: "I'll talk to you any damn way I want unless you've got a gun or a badge!" "Beware the lollipop of mediocrity! Lick it once and you'll suck forever..." Being broke didn't disturb me in the least. I had started with nothing, and if I now found myself with nothing, I was at least even. Actually, I was much better than even; I had had a wonderful time. - Sol Bloom "Helmets make it hard to hear natural selection calling." “If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” – Larry McMurty 1. A motorcycle will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no motorcycle. -Unknown 2. Never relinquish your ability to maneuver. Never become decisively engaged. -Basic rules of Cavalry 3. Takeoffs are optional, landings are mandatory. -Aviation adage 4. TNYL! Trust Not Your Leaders! -S.C.U.M. 5. Does riding in heavy rain count as bathing? -BMW Advertisement When in doubt...gas it...it'll either solve the problem, or remove the suspense. I've got mood poisoning. It must be something that I hate. "Live passionately, even if it kills you, because something is going to kill you anyway." - Webb Chiles Motorcycling is dangerous enough without people actively ••••••• with us. David R Superior riders use superior judgement to avoid having to use superior skill. Never run out of traction, real estate, and ideas at the same time. --Unknown (On vehicle racing) I got off to a flying stop. Yeah-we can change the value of real estate anywhere in the world. B52 pilot "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever" - Anonymous You always have enough fuel to make it to the scene of the crash- Army Aviator The only time you can have too much fuel is when you're on fire.- Army Aviator Experience is a hard teacher, because the test is first and the lesson afterward (VSRI Peter, I believe) Experience is the ability to recognize a mistake when I...I mean you, make it again. (Fortune cookie) Hard work takes time to pay off...procrastination pays off now (unknown) Do unto others as they would do unto you, but do it unto them first, (Robert Heinlein) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're gonna die...it's happened to a lot of people I know...so live life like you're gonna die, because you're going to...(You'll have time, by William Shatner) "The only truly tolerant ones are those who don't care. " - Mike Berlien There's always a wonderful view from the point of no return. --Terry Pratchett Moto Guzzi, going out of business since 1921 "Remember, Italian motorcycles are like Italian women, sometimes they stab you for no reason." If you put your hands on my bike, I' ll make your birth certificate a worthless document. "The Romans didn't build a great empire by holding meetings. They did it by killing everyone who stood in their way." I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing "There are no such things as accidents—just two people competing for the same point on the space-time continuum." "If a hammer doesn't fix it, you have an electrical problem" Do you know what the bad thing about people that don't smoke or drink is? They wake up in the morning knowing that is the best they are going to feel all day! Things To Do Today: 1. Get up. 2. Survive. 3. Go back to bed. Dude, don't •••• with the Jesus. "Man - despite his artistic pretensions, his sophistication, & his many accomplishments - still owes his existence to a six inch layer of topsoil & the fact that it rains".... Anonymous Honey, I know why you're mad, I just don't know why you're surprised. "We all should aspire once in life to date a psychotic nymphomaniac, no matter what the aftermath." If you feel dirty, insignificant and unloved then rats are a good role model. They exist without permission, they have no respect for the hierarchy of society and they have sex fifty times a day. Keep your boogerhook off the bangswitch until you're ready to shoot! "People are a lot like slinkys, not really good for anything but a lot of fun when you push them down the stairs." | ||
| Jphish |
Smiley1eye - Those are GREAT. Those should be in a book to live by. Thanks for the laugh and Sat morning detour. j | ||
| Seanp |
Smiley1eye - the one quote about Jesus is a little bit off. I think you may have gotten it from this scene in The Big Lebowski (NSFW): | ||
| Riding_tall |
Smiley1eye - that's a great list. I'll add a few to the list "They say at 100mph water feels like concrete, so you can imagine what concrete feels like." -Nicky Hayden Have fun, but don't get caught - My mom when I turned 18 | ||
| Johnboy777 |
One of my favorites.....205, yeah. Lesbian frog to her girlfriend: "hey, we really do taste like chicken." . (Message edited by johnboy777 on February 14, 2009) | ||
| Diablobrian |
how about: "Be good, If you can't be good be careful, If you can't be careful name it after me!" My Uncle LJ circa 1985 | ||
| Smiley1eye |
And a few more... "Once your reputation is ruined you can live quite freely" Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same - Oscar Wilde Danger is one thing. But danger plus extreme discomfort for long periods is quite another. "Whoa, that's a helluva lotta whiskey before breakfast" --Clint Eastwood In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is. You can have more fun with girls than motorcycles, but they don't always go where you point em. Bake Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man. Rigor Mortis will be the first indication that I've grown up!! You only live once but if you do it right that's enough. Wife = Minister of Finance aka Ole Ball n Chain, Queen Dream Ruiner, Life Sucking Anti Motorcycling Spouse, Shecan Cycle Haters Club President, Long Way Bound CEO LIVE TO RIDE!....to the gas station RIDE back TO LIVE!...in the garage Strong like bull, smart like tractor. "beware the grease mud. for therein lies the skid demon."-memory from an old Honda safety pamphlet "Awwww crap! This one goes up there? Where's THAT one go then? And wtf is THIS?" He was a very cautious man who never romped and played He never smoked, He never drank, Nor ever kissed a maid And when he up and passed away his insurance was denied... For since he hadn't ever lived, they claimed he never died. |
